We had a very interesting day on Mommyish yesterday. It was the start of National Breastfeeding Week so we talked about all of the reasons we don't cover up while nursing. An anonymous commenter showed up to drop some serious knowledge on us all about how breastfeeding in public is JUST like open carry gun laws.
Naturally, a spirited and intelligent debate ensued. Such sound logic and a totally obvious tie-in. It made all of us in the Mommyish offices wonder why we had never thought of it before. Boobs and guns have SO many things in common- it was only a matter of minutes before we had come up with several examples that we thought it pertinent to share with you, our valued readership.
They Both Shoot Things Out Of Them
We are dealing with milk and bullets. The parallels are crystal clear.
Men (And Some Women) Love Playing With Them
This cannot be denied. Guns and titties. Is there anything more fun?
If One Is Visible In Public, Someone Might Scream
Whip out a boob or a gun- either way, someone is probably going to lose their shit and duck for cover.
Both Are Frequently Mishandled
Ask any survivor of an accidental shooting or any woman who's dated a guy who loved the always horrible Tune In Tokyo move- there are numerous ways to fuck up when touching both boobies and guns.
Both Are Often Touched Without Permission
Whether we are talking about a douche-rocket 8th grade boy trying to impress his friends by opening Dad's gun safe or a guy on a first date fumbling around trying to figure out his next move- it is always wise to ask permission before getting all handsy.
Both Come In All Shapes And Sizes
For every kind of boob that exists, there is a different kind of gun and vice versa. The possibilities are practically limitless.
Certain People Are Uncomfortable Discussing Them
Boobs and guns can both prove to be polarizing topics depending on your audience and I completely understand the controversy. I mean, one of these things kills people and the other sustains life, makes sex more enjoyable, changes the way a sweater looks and causes "stumbling blocks" in a marriage. I can totally grasp why they are both touchy (see what I did there?) topics people have trouble talking about since they are so very much THE SAME.
Both Need A Holster Of Some Kind
Just like you can't go around in public Free Boobing, one also cannot carry a gun on their person without a proper holding apparatus. I would venture that one is far more comfortable to wear all day than the other, just sayin.
(Image: Alexander Pekour/Shutterstock)