You’ll Have To Pry My Black Leggings Out Of My Cold, Dead Hands
This morning, I was drinking my coffee perusing some blogs when a headline jumped out at me; Ditch Your Boring Black Leggings! My soul responded; No. No way in hell. Why would I ever do that?
It turns out the article wasn’t trying to get you abandon your legging game – it was just trying to get you to step it up with some prints and such. No matter. The very thought of losing my leggings sent a chill straight up my spine. Black leggings are a lifeline for women like myself.
I’ve always had quite the booty. It’s something I own with pride – even now, when it’s bigger than it’s ever been (thank you second baby and newfound aversion to the gym). Black leggings are a curvy girls necessity. I’m not exactly sure when leggings came back into fashion (2005ish?) but I greeted them with open arms. Years of “the boyfriend jean” had nearly destroyed my faith in mankind.
Have you ever tried to shove a big butt into a “boyfriend jean” cut? You know the style – straight leg and incredibly low waisted? These are the worst when your hip to butt ratio is like mine. I’d always have to go at least two sizes too big to actually fit my ass and thighs into them, which caused an interesting situation to happen every time I sat down; let’s just call it the butt-gap. The butt-gap occurs when the waist of your jeans is too big and the hips and thigh region are way too tight. The pants look totally normal when you are standing – in fact, they even have a slimming effect. As soon as you sit, people in the room may or may not begin using your jeans as a receptacle for a makeshift drinking game.
Now that I am a mother of two, I am a proud member of the Frumpy Mom™ movement coined by our very own Eve Vawter. While I do not think I’m frumpy at all, I am now old enough not to give a shit if leggings go out of style. I will still continue to wear them, just like my mom still wears the pastel pink lipstick that was all the rage in the early 80’s. When it came back again, 25 years later, she was ahead of the curve; a tastemaker. I plan to do the same thing for leggings.
I, alone, will hold your torch black leggings. I will fight for your longevity. I will champion your cause.
(photo: Getty Images)