#BlackFridayFights Is Back Because Nothing Says ‘Happy Holidays’ Like Fighting Over A TV

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I had high hopes that Black Friday fights wouldn’t actually be a thing this year — not because I think humanity has evolved in any way, only because there are so many stores open so many more hours and offering deals online, I figured there wouldn’t be as many people rushing out to stand in line in the cold and shove their way into a department store. I was wrong. The BlackFridayFights hashtag has returned.

The last thing I want to do on Thanksgiving night (or any night for that matter), is stand in line, be herded into a retail outlet like frightened cattle, and fight over who gets to hand over cash to a giant corporation. The worst part — handing the cash to an employee who most definitely doesn’t want to be working during the madness and probably has about a million other places they would like to be on a holiday. The whole thing depresses the hell out of me. But apparently, millions of Americans have made this a yearly tradition, because nothing says “Happy Holidays” and “Yay America” than punching someone in the face for a TV.

I’m happy to report there are not as many fights trending. I present to you – humanity. Try not to curl into the fetal position and weep.

1. Two men fight over an HDTV.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ-z8xmADQA#t=12]

Are these TV’s made of solid gold? Because I would totally pay 100-plus-dollars (or whatever these “savings” are) to not have to stand in line, listen to people scream, and have a tug-of-war over electronics.

2. Urban Outfitters sells a bunch of crap, y’all. Why are you doing this?

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYWdKWWspn4]

I have no words. I guess all of these people really love ironic T-shirts.

3. Here’s some women fighting over underwear.

[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PpJMjGYIUw#t=17]

It must be laced with diamonds. Also, did you know the Black Friday madness had spread to the UK?

4. Self-righteous Santa is kind of the best.

{youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfJezF8diUg#t=65]

He does have a point.

As much as going out on Black Friday has become a tradition, so has looking for the inevitable fight video. There are tons of people on Twitter expressing their glee that they may soon be able to watch videos of people beating the shit out of each other for a half-price Elsa doll. The beloved #WalmartFights hashtag seems to have gone dormant, probably because Walmart ranked 18th for best Black Friday Deals this year. Or maybe shoppers are finally starting to boycott that awful company? Nah.

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Aww, Will. Hopefully there will be plenty of more people smacking each other for a TV and someone will be there to tape it. Keep your hopes up.

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