I suffered through crappy toddler and pre-school TV for years- Caillou, Thomas the Train, Dora - all of the usual suspects. I figured life would get a lot better entertainment-wise once my kids were older. Well, those days are here - my kids are seven and five - and I have come to discover that the big kid TV shows are also pretty shitty.
We watch mostly, Nickelodeon and a little Disney Channel with a splash of Cartoon Network. I have to admit- most of the worst shows are on Nickelodeon, which bums me out because they had GREAT shows when I was a kid. I have come to discover that there are just as many annoying shows for older kids and that at times, they are worse than Caillou and the other little kid shows I had grown to loathe. These shows try so hard to make kids laugh with the character's outlandish behavior and it's just so cringe-worthy plus, annoying. I know a lot of you dear readers have babies and small children so I am here to educate you on what to watch out for one day when you're kids have outgrown horrors such as Max and Ruby so you know what to actively avoid from day one. You are welcome.
So.much.sass. Jessie is the nanny for a bunch of rich kids. They are all mean to their butler and call him fat and Jessie gets them out of all kinds of trouble with her sass. This show makes my ears bleed from the theme song to the desperate over-acting from all involved parties. It is the absolute worst.
2. Nicky, Ricky, Dicky And Dawn
The title alone makes me want to punch things but holy hell, these quadruplets are obnoxious. And the only thing MORE obnoxious? Their parents. Only three episodes have come out so far and much to my chagrin, my kids positively love this garbage.
3. The Thundermans
I liked this show at first but God, these kids get away with a lot of bad behavior and crazy schemes because they are a family of SUPER HEROES! They use their powers to fix any manner of bad decisions. It grates on my nerves super hard. Oh, lots of over-acting in this one too- which is kind of a running theme in these elementary school-geared shows.
4. The Haunted Hathaways
This show is so irritating. Spunky single mom and her two daughters move into a "haunted" house with annoying ghosts. The younger Hathaway daughter is sneaky and kind of a jerk and gets away with everything. The older daughter is shallow and self-centered and the mom is portrayed as a clueless nitwit who never knows what's up. Eff this show.
This show is just pure ridiculousness. Cartoon ducks (who don't even really look like ducks) that deliver bread. The songs are horrible, but get stuck in your head for days. Do not want.
6. Rabbids Invasion
This show is basically an acid trip. Little trouble-making rabbits that don't seem to speak real words. I have seen several episodes and I still don't get it. It does make my son act like he's eaten a dozen Pixy Stix, so there's that.
7. Every Witch Way
THIS show. At first, I couldn't put my finger on what exactly bothered me more than the typical things about these shows that bother me. I figured it out after a few episodes- there is no laugh track. I did not realize how totally flat the lame jokes fall when there is no laugh track to at least TRY to convince you that you should be feeling entertained.
8. Sam and Cat
I have a love-hate relationship with this show. It is actually kind of funny. But the kinds of things Sam and Cat get away with doing are sort of appalling and there is a lot of adult-themed humor that my kids are starting to question. It is quickly falling lower on my list of shows I will tolerate.
9. The Amazing World of Gumball
I will admit to not having seen many episodes of this show but it just seems very formulaic and boring. My kids love it for some reason so I overhear it's obnoxiousness often. Blah.
10. Henry Danger
Another that is new this season and it is just wretched. Wooden acting, ridiculous plot, horrible jokes- it's got it all. And yes, we REALLY needed another kid's show where the main characters are either super heroes or a witch/ghost. That genre was sadly lacking. Le Sigh.