Even though many blame the internet, it's our opinion that moms have been getting trolled since time immemorial. Why? Nobody knows. It's one of life's great, irritating mysteries. Maybe it's because the job is just so damn big people think moms should take whatever crumb of knowledge falls their way. Maybe it's because some people out there have no sense of survival and therefore don't know when to keep their unwelcome opinions to themselves. Seriously, who thinks- look there's a sleep deprived, worried, over-stressed lady. She probably wants to hear me critique her choices. Jerks, that's who.
But if you enjoy seeing these jerks (IE internet trolls) get their comeuppance, this article's here for you. People too often forget that moms come in many varieties. One of those varieties are women who take exactly zero shit. We love them for it and need to live vicariously through them on days we've taken (or wiped) more than our fair share of shit. Here's some of the most epic mom clapbacks on the internet. These are truly gems, and they often include things all moms out there should remember. Moming is hard. Despite the loudness of trolls, it's good to know you're not in it alone.
We've all heard of this situation way too much. Mom has a baby. Then Mom takes baby out in public. Mom must feed hungry baby. Someone gets offended by Mom's boob in baby's mouth. It happens at pools, gyms, and, according to Mei Rui, on airplanes. Why these breastfeeding voyeurs don't just choose to look away confuses most of us. After all, a quietly breastfeeding baby seems much less grating than a screaming, famished one. TeamBreastfeed chose to clapback at those haters with the image above. We give them two thumbs up for the thought and promise extra points if someone does this in real life and manages to snap a picture.
Just a pointer here for any man- if a woman starts a response to you with 'dear brave man' she probably doesn't actually think you're courageous. Really, you should probably plug yours ears, cover your sensitive bits, and click away from the page before your delicate sensibilities are ruined. Why? Because in your silly mansplaining, you've pushed her to her limit. This is what happened when Dublin based news reporter Susan Keogh heard from a man that if she misses her daughter while she's at work, it's a sign she shouldn't be working. While we feel every temptation to jump in and tell that man how ridiculous that statement is, Susan had the perfect clapback.
In case you missed the fallout, in 2016 model Dani Mathers was at the gym. She saw a woman in the shower after working out and decided to take a picture, captioning it "If I can't unsee this you can't either." You can see why this really pissed people off. In response, the woman behind Delicate Flower posted a picture of herself, one of her naked but censored. She said that she wasn't pleased with the way her body looked in the photo, but what she was was real, healthy, and happy. These are all the reasons a woman should go to the gym. She told Dani Mathers where she could shove her body shaming in the epic take down above.
This one speaks for itself. And, yeah, no matter the size of the baby at birth, moms get immediate and lifelong rights to say, "But I gave birth to you!" Labor is hard by definition. You can't really know the extent of the pain as well as the other sources of discomfort that are incorporated into that experience until you live through it. Although there is a certain charm you experience while watching men experience simulations of labor and delivery on YouTube. For a good one, watch the Try Guys. I can't tell you how many times I snorted at their pretend play pain.
Image: Facebook/Foxy Photography
Abbie Fox was the photographer behind the camera doing shoots of families who made choices that could get them ridiculed by shamers online. This one was, ''we all had medicated births" but others included, "I was born at home," and "I already watch TV." Abbie said that she was tired of people and their children getting drug through the mud by strangers, particularly when those kids were happy and well adjusted. She wanted to do an inclusive project that showed people that at the end of the day, our differences are something to celebrate, not be embarrassed of. Abbie, we salute your clapback skills.
"I’ve learned that the true “bad moms” out there are the ones who constantly tear other moms down by judging them." That's what the woman behind diaryofafitmommyofficial said of all the people who've judged her parenting. However, as a tongue in cheek reference to all the things that have caused others to judge her, this brave lady wrote "BAD MOM" on her skin, drank a bottle of hooch, and (gasp) let her kids use electronics in a photo. She said that people have made comments about a multitude of her choices, including riding motorcycles and choosing to workout throughout her pregnancies. Clearly, she cares. Just look how much she cares.
What's the deal? Why is it moms that shame other moms? It's completely nonsensical. We need to be the ones defending one another, holding each other up because we know how hard it is in the trenches of motherhood. Even the good days can be hard, and it's okay to be honest about that. Being tired is part of motherhood. Janet, you've got to know that. Certain things, like loving your time with your kids but being exhausted by the effort that's innately part of it, aren't mutually exclusive. Be tired. Go ahead and be a hot mess. Be upfront about those things. Neither makes you a bad mom.
We all have those "friends" on social media who claim that the essential oils they hawk can fix damn near anything. Truth? Healthline says that, "more research is needed in humans" to prove that essential oils have any effectiveness at all. Therefore, do their pricey products actually help you lose weight, clear up acne, and fix your kid's runny nose? Probably not. Snake oils make the same claims and have for centuries. In fact, I'd rather read these hilarious clapbacks at said salesmen than read about the actual essential oils themselves, especially if I'm feeling on edge after getting up at the ass crack of dawn. #thankskids
Image: Facebook/Amanda Carter
Yeah, the police officer definitely shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Yes, this mama still got the last laugh. She got out of a ticket that would have been hard on the bank! While most people don't want to be reminded that their postpartum bodies make people think they're still pregnant, this time it worked out. Next time, the officer may just come upon a woman who's tired, sore, or just plain had it. Then, the clapback he gets may be a little more pointed. However, we agree with Amanda. Take what you can get, lady! We think your silence and getting away scot free was the ultimate clapback to this guy's assumptions.
Even the most involved, empathetic dads can't really understand the discomfort that is pregnancy. No matter how many drinks they deliver to their partners, how many times they're disturbed from sleep by her bathroom breaks, or how many back rubs they have to give there's just no comparison. And that's just the pregnancy. Labor and delivery is its own separate hell. While dads often struggle and are anxious seeing their partners in pain, it's nothing like being the one delivering a baby through...well, where babies come from. If moms could opt out and do dads' job, many would do so without hesitation. This clapback is just making that clear.
Know who sucks? Men that are sick while their wives and mothers of their children are still being boss ladies by necessity. If you've ever survived a man cold, you know what we're talking about. This video perfectly sums up why married ladies get irritated at their sick partners. Is it nice? Nope, probably not. Is it too much to ask her to be sick, take care of the family, and listen to a grown man believe he'll be the first man in his family to be killed by the common cold? You bet it is. This YouTube clapback, we're here for it.
This one is pretty straightforward, though seriously disturbing. A woman's teenage daughter had "a talking to" at school, where she was instructed to no longer wear skinny jeans. Why? The school said that her dress was unfair to the male teachers. They were neither able to act on their temptations or ogle the teen girl as their apparently virile, uncontrollable male natures encouraged them to (insert epic eye roll here). The mom was rightly pissed. She went online and found a community that helped her clapback at the school. We agree with the mother. Any grown man tempted by the full length pants of a teenage girl (or any pants for that matter) have serious issues and should not find themselves in a career that puts them close to children.
This mama is the Yoda of clapbacks. The truth is, girls need skills to stick up for themselves in a world that still can look backwards and patriarchal at times. Why ever a ten year old boy would decide to be mean to a non-sibling four year old escapes us. Yet, this mom turned her kid's bullying into a lesson. Don't be pushed around. Don't let them get the best of you. You have permission to be tougher than them, smarter than them, and more strategic than them. Go get 'em, honey. We think those ten year old boys probably got a great life lesson out of this too. Just because something comes in a small package doesn't mean it's easy pickings.
Man, we didn't know how many of these clapbacks were going to be pointed at dad. However, dads do get away kind of easy sometimes (notice the "kinda" dads, we know your family work is hard too). They can't get up for midnight breastfeeds. A lot of dads do their best, but let's be real about the difficulty of waking up in the middle of the night for anybody. After a long day, it's exhausting. Maybe that's why this mama said what she did so bluntly. Getting up in the night with a baby or going asleep late because you're helping with a school project makes adults grumpy.
Image: Pinterest/Carrie Anderson
Kids and their damn social lives! Don't they know that this generation is supposed to be glued to their electronics and lacking basic human connection? Okay, okay, maybe it's good that our kids make friends and want to leave the house at times. However, that doesn't mean that we moms have to be happy about doing those same things. In fact, we put our time in. We were those same plan-making kids when we were younger and didn't understand why our own parents were so reluctant to car pool everyone around. Now, we're reduced to saying things like, "We'll see," and hoping the kids forget before we have to do whatever it is.
You know when you're a clapback beast? The answer- when you use the internet to clapback at your own parents when they try to shame you for breastfeeding in public. That's exactly what Kelly Marie did when her father tried to cover her with a linen napkin at a restaurant because she was breastfeeding her nine month old. Kelly said that she was doing what was natural but never received an apology from her dad when she explained that his actions made her feel embarrassed for doing what was best for her baby. In fact, her dad told her the restaurant they were at was "too nice" to allow for breastfeeding. You know what else is nice? Getting fed when you're hungry, which is what Kelly was doing for her baby.
Image: Pinterest/Erica Kelly
All of these things are true. They are not mutually exclusive. Kids are awesome, smart, even inspiring for their parents every day. And yet, they are expensive now and remain expensive their entire lives (just ask Aunt Becky). Too soon for that joke? We say no, especially after seeing that clip of her daughter saying she was only going to college to party. A $500,000 party experience is a little over the top. Anyway...most of our kids won't fall into that extreme, so there's something to be happy about. Our kids are smart. They are important. That's why we're trying to teach them to enjoy what they've earned...and no more.
How true is this? In fact, we think the mama from the prior clapback could have used this logic against her father when he tried to cover her with that linen napkin. "Okay, Dad, I'll stop feeding my baby when you stick your head in this bag to cover your offensive Adam's apple." I'd bet money he would have scoffed, but the logic is sound. The only way to make that burn hotter is if she would have had a bag on hand. Listen, men who try to shame women's bodies are the real culprits here. Their mouths are the stomach turning topic at hand.