Being pregnant can feel like you’re forced to give up all the things you love. There’s plenty you can’t eat or drink, activities you should refrain from, at some point even your favorite jeans won’t fit anymore. But just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to stop living your life. In fact, it’s important to continuing doing as many of the things you enjoy as possible. For many women and couples, maintaining an active sex life during pregnancy is important. And you don’t have to resort to boring ol’ missionary every time, either. If you’re into BDSM, you might be wondering if it’s safe to continue with it during your pregnancy. Well, I have some really good news for you.

BDSM is sort of a blanket term that covers a wide range of sexual activities and kinks. It stands for bondage and discipline/domination and submission/sadism and masochism.

sexy 50 shades of grey GIF by Digg

Image: Giphy

BDSM has been around forever, but it’s gained in popularity since the 50 Shades of Grey books and movies. In a nutshell, BDSM is a dominance/submissive sexual relationship that can involve bondage and sadomasochism, and a ton of other fetishes and kinks. In a healthy coupling, it is completely consensual, and helps people act out, uh, “alternative” sexual fantasies. It can range from a little light whipping and rope play, to far more adventurous and even painful sexual acts.

But is it safe to practice during pregnancy? Short answer: hell yeah.

Obviously, before engaging in any sexual activity during pregnancy, you want to make sure you get the all-clear from your doctor. Some women will experience complications that make even boring sex risky, so always double-check with your doc. But generally speaking, it’s completely safe for most women to enjoy an active, healthy sex life throughout her entire pregnancy. And this includes BDSM.

According to¬†Lamaze certified childbirth educator Deena Blumenfeld, “The psychological components of this sex play, or lifestyle will do no harm during pregnancy.” If a couple wants to continue practicing BDSM to scratch that itch, there are absolutely so safety issues. However, when it comes to the bondage/domination/sadomasochism aspect of BDSM, some care may need to be taken.

First and foremost, the health and safety of the mother and baby need to be prioritized. Most acts, like spanking, would still be considered fine.

 

Blumenfeld says there’s nothing wrong with using gags, handcuffs, or other restraints, either. However, rope bondage and suspensions can restrict blood flow to the fetus in some cases, and should be performed with care. Hook suspensions (which I had to google and HOLY SHIT) can put mom at risk for infection and septicemia. You can also … fall off … the hooks. So.

A good rule of thumb, according to Blumenfeld, is to ask yourself if any of the fetishes and kinks increase your risk of falling, contracting an infection, or overheating. If not, have at it. If they do, maybe save the hooks for after the baby is born.

The most important thing to keep in mind when engaging in BDSM is that good communication is of the utmost importance. This goes for playing during pregnancy, and always.

If mom is the sub (submissive) she needs to be able to clearly and effectively communicate her safe word or gesture to her partner. And her partner needs to be responsible and compassionate, and respectful of the boundaries put in place. If the mom is the domme or dominant, well, all bets are off, bitches. Do what mama says and don’t ask questions.

(Image: iStock/rattodisabina)