Childrearing

Why Your Penis Is Not A Breast

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Why Your Penis Is Not A Breast Screen Shot 2014 06 12 at 8 44 16 AM pngAnytime the issue of public breastfeeding is discussed, there is always a man who makes the statement that if a woman is allowed to “whip out her breast” in public, he should be allowed to do the same thing with his dick.

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This is just a very small sampling, but there sure are a lot of dudes out there in the world all bitter because they can’t whip out their dicks in public.

Gentlemen, your penis is not a breast. If you are old enough to have an internet connection you are old enough to understand this simple fact of biology. Because there seems to be a lot of confusion about this topic, allow me to drop some facts on you about why your penis is not a breast.

Your penis does not produce breast milk. 

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Urine is not the same thing as breast milk 

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 Ejaculate is not the same thing as breast milk 

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Your penis cannot nourish a baby 

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 Your penis cannot soothe a crying baby 

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Your penis cannot save a family more than $1,200 to $1,500 in formula-related expenses in a year. 

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Your penis doesn’t reduce the risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer in moms.

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Your penis does not reduce the instances of ear infections and stomach issues in breastfed infants. 

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Now, if there was some new trend of women whipping out their vaginas and urinating all over the world, then your arguments about being all butthurt you can’t whip out your dicks and urinate in public would make sense. If there were laws passed that women can masturbate in public, then your arguments about why you can’t whip out your dick and jerk off in public would make sense. But until your dicks are capable of nourishing an infant from birth until age three, that age at which most babies have started consuming a diet comprised mainly of nutrients other than breast milk, kindly stick your dick back in your pants and shut the fuck up.

This has been a Public Service Announcement From Mommyish Enterprises™.

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