What Kind Of Parent Are You? A Quiz

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It takes longer for some of us than others, but eventually we all lie awake in a cold sweat and ponder whether or not we are “good” parents, don’t we? There is just so much information out there. We are constantly reminded that someone is probably doing a better job (thanks, Pinterest), someone’s kid is definitely smarter (thanks, YouTube), and someone looks better while doing it (thanks, Crossfit). How do we really know whether we’re actually succeeding at this whole parenting thing? Here’s a quiz to help you assess your level of parental accomplishment.

1. It’s dinnertime! You…

a) Reach for today’s organic market haul and make everything from scratch.

b) Drive to McDonald’s

c) Shove a pouch in your baby’s mouth, make your husband and yourself a cheese sandwich and call it a day.

2. Your kid is having a meltdown in a store. Do you…

a) Buy him whatever he wants so he shuts up.

b) Pretend you can’t hear him/ don’t know who he is.

c) Calmly reason with him.

3. How do you approach bedtime?

a) My kids have been sleep-trained since birth.

b) Settle in to another night of sleeping with my toddler wedged between my husband and I.

c) Pray that my kid gets tired before midnight so I can be functional at work tomorrow.

4. Do you breastfeed?

a) Yes.

b) No.

c) I supplement with formula.

5. Do your kids watch TV?

a) Yes, but only a very specific allotted time in the morning and afternoon.

b) We are adamantly against children watching television.

c) Totally.

6. Did you allow your baby to use a pacifier?

a) Nope. Too afraid of nipple confusion or braces.

b) Only when I was desperate for silence.

c) I basically popped one in as soon as he emerged from my vagina.

7. Are you a SAHM or a working mom?

a) I’m a stay at home mom.

b) I’m a working mom.

c) I’m both.

8. Who watches your children when you or your partner are working?

a) We split childcare responsibilities so we don’t have to put our kid in daycare.

b) Daycare or a nanny.

c) Whatever family member will agree to do it for free.

9. Cloth or disposable diapers?

a) Cloth.

b) Disposable.

c) My child has been potty trained since birth – thanks, Elimination Communication!

10. Sling or stroller?

a) Sling – my baby will be secure and loved!

b) Stroller – I’m not breaking my back.

c) Combination of both – whatever works.

Answer Key:

If you answered mostly A’s – you are a good parent.

If you answered mostly B’s – you are a good parent.

If you answered mostly C’s – you are a good parent.

(photo: Sofi photo/ Shutterstock)


  1. Kendra

    June 24, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    Damnit, Maria! I was hoping that I would get a result that said I was a piece of shit parent so that I could come down here and get all ragey about people saying I wasn’t a good parent! Now I have nothing to rage about.

  2. Alex Lee

    June 24, 2014 at 6:10 pm

    Surprise ending!

    Would take quiz again.

  3. Jenny

    June 24, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    11. Are your kids vaccinated?

    If you answered NO, because toxins/autism/Big Pharma, you are a shit parent. No getting around it.

    • Maria Guido

      June 24, 2014 at 9:18 pm

      Haha – notice I left that one out.

    • othiliashe557

      June 25, 2014 at 10:01 am

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  4. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    June 24, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    Whoa. My mind was blown. I’m a good parent after all. 😛

  5. LadyClodia the Modest Rat

    June 24, 2014 at 7:38 pm

  6. Jayamama

    June 24, 2014 at 10:06 pm

    There are days when I really question whether I’m a good parent. Two-year-olds do that to you. But then I watch her play with her baby sister or rock her doll while singing lullabies or crawl up in my lap for a cuddle, and I think that I must be doing something right. After all, kids repeat what they see modeled, right? So if I’m showing her how to love others, I’m doing my job. And that makes me feel better.

  7. Hibbie

    June 24, 2014 at 11:06 pm

    That baby dancing along to Single Ladies is amazing. Superior .gif usage!

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