Why Give Your Kids A Spongebob Coloring Book When You Can Haunt Their Dreams With 'True Faces Of Evil'

Today in what-the-hell-is-going-on-in-the-world-make-it-stop, there’s a coloring book for kids that focuses on the “true faces of evil.” Why color Spongebob or Dora when you can teach your kids to color in the lines with horrific images of burning buildings and paranoia? Is proper shading really as important as a lesson in how the world is fraught with latent forces whose only aim is to kill you and burn everything you believe in? I don’t think so.

The book is a part of the “We Shall Never Forget 9/11” series. It was recently updated to include ISIS, because of course. Volume two is called, “The True Faces Of Evil.” Thank god that update happened. We can all sleep a little easier knowing that children are learning their primary colors while being haunted by images like this:

It’s a public crucifixion, honey. How funny! You’re making his blood blue. No, you don’t need to color the eyes. They’re closed. He’s dead because he’s an infidel. We’ll talk about that later.

Just in case the coloring book itself isn’t horrifying enough, the author has included some trading cards at the end. This should make your child super popular amongst his peers. It probably won’t terrify his teachers, either:

I’ll trade you a Pokemon for a Saddam Hussein? Why are you crying?

From the book’s web page:

The 911 Vol. II The True Faces of Evil – Terror, parental guidance is suggested. It is about Good vs. Evil. There is no fantasy in this book. Some people refuse to believe the terror that actually exists, sometimes literally next door. To a terrorist, this is a way of life and they do not consider themselves to be radicals, they consider themselves as soldiers. Current examples of modern evil are the Radical Islamic Muslim Tsarnaev brothers,Tamerlan and Dzhokhar one of which became a US Citizen on 9/11/2012.

Speaking of Tsarnaev…