Your Kid Doesn’t Want To Hear About Your Sex Life, Even If He Wrote ‘Blurred Lines’
I think we all remember Alan Thicke fondly as Dr. Jason Seaver, consummate sitcom dad on 1980’s TV hit Growing Pains. Well, that innocent memory is about to be tarnished forever as you will now only see him as a gross, old dude getting his bone on while listening to his son croon sexily in the background. Vomiting yet? Don’t worry, you’ll get there. Keep reading.
Robin Thicke is known to us all as the singer behind disgusting, rape culture anthem Blurred Lines. I’m not a fan of his and think he’s an enormous douche-canoe but today, I’m on his side because I think we can all sympathize with his plight. From UsWeekly:
During a recent visit to Us Weekly’s New York City offices with his wife, Tanya Callau, the Unusually Thicke star and Growing Pains alum, 68, admitted that he and Callau, 40, hit the sheets with Robin’s music on repeat.
“When we do get freaky, we love [Robin’s song] ‘Sex Therapy,'” Callou, Alan’s wife of 10 years, told Us in our latest edition of Loose Talk. “You have to admit, it’s a great song to get in the mood.”
Aw, HELL naw. He did not even say that. Except he did and now the whole world knows it. Poor Robin. It’s not even my dad and my squick-o-meter is off the charts right now. Even though Robin is an adult, how in the WORLD can Alan want to do Sexy Time to the sound of his own child’s voice? In a Skype session with other Mommyish writers, we unanimously agreed that nothing kills a lady boner faster than the sound of one of our kids’ voices. The fact that Alan apparently uses his son’s music to obtain (and maintain) a boner is so completely vile, only eclipsed in vileness by sharing this disgusting tidbit with a major celebrity news outlet. Vomit to the highest power.
For his part, Robin expressed his disdain for his dad’s admission in a Tweet:
— Robin Thicke (@robinthicke) May 14, 2015
Ugh, right on. I mean, I’d love for him to take back his yucky music regardless but the idea of his own father getting it on while listening to it is a great reason to never, ever sing or write a song again. How totally foul of Alan to do this…and then admit it in a public way. If I were Robin, I’d be mortified.
In general, it’s best not to share details about your sex life with your kids. At any age. Being open about sex as a topic in general is great but no matter how close you are with your kids, they do not want to know the dirty details of your romps with their other parent. That includes things like what music you listen to, particularly if your child happens to be singing it. SHUDDER. Be open and answer their sex questions but definitely don’t use your own sex life as an example.