I wish I could remember being a toddler because it seems to be the only time in your life you can really express your evil self - unafraid of consequences. If your child does any of the following things, don't be alarmed. Toddlers are the worst.
Here are a few situations that prove the little jerks really have no conscience.
1. I'm just gonna drown the cat real quick.
2. I know you just cleaned these, but f&*k you and your windows.
3. I will take your head off, minion.
4. What do you mean sleep OR eat? Both, bi*ch.
5. This sword is almost as dumb as your face.
6. Dad, you're an asshole.
7. I can't figure out which emotion to manipulate you with.
8. I'm going to make the neighbors think you're abusive if you don't give me that cookie.
9. Screw you and your birthday.
10. Eff you, Grandma.
11. I am a thief of joy.
12. I never wanted this thing.
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