Pop Culture

Movies For Moms: ‘Afternoon Delight’ Is So NOT Delightful

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Hahn plays Rachel who hates everything including her amazingly fancy midcentury modern house that was for real located a few miles from the director of the movie, Jill Soloway‘s house. That’s Jill Soloway’s dining table and chairs used in the movie. Rachel is all bummed out because she has an amazingly beautiful house and a beautiful kid and a husband who is on his iPhone all the time and a therapist played by Jane Lynch who probably costs more than your entire monthly grocery bill. Rachel’s cute kid attends a fancy preschool filled with harpie sanctimommies who she doesn’t fit in with even though she gets crunk with these moms all the time instead of not getting involved with them and staying home and maybe watching Netflix.

Silver Lake problems, amirite?!

So when talking to one of her friends, her tall, blond, thin, rich friend, they decide to visit a strip club because when you are bored with your life and your husband is on his iPhone all the time because he develops apps for a living and you start to feel depressed because you aren’t boning enough, going to a strip club is a fabulous idea. You know, instead of maybe talking to your partner about your issues.

So they go to a strip club and Rachel gets a lap dance from a stripper named McKenna (I can just see the whole table discussion about what a good stripper name is for the charachter) and it obviously AFFECTS her in some deeply psychological way because she then starts trolling the ‘hood where the strip club is located under the guise of following a coffee truck who tweets their whereabouts on Twitter so she can possibly see McKenna again.

They meet and become secret coffee and cigarette pals and eventually Rachel RESCUES McKenna and brings her home to live in her previous nanny’s room because McKenna is obviously a fucked up sex worker and needs saving. You know this by the fact McKenna wears a bikini, and teaches Rachel and her thin, white, rich blond friend how to use a pool noodle as a stripper pole.

Plus, whenever anyone calls McKenna a prostitute Rachel corrects them and explains the term SEX WORKER to them. Because McKenna is a SEX WORKER Rachel goes with her on a date where she holds the hand of some old dude when he ejaculates as McKenna bones him. FOR MONEY. Because SEX WORKER. This scene obviously upsets Rachel so she goes home and her husband makes fun of her eye makeup.

Some other shit happens, they drink juice a lot, it’s probably like 12 dollar juice, and Rachel bones her husband and wakes up late to discover he has basically invited their kid’s entire preschool class over for brunch, and Rachel oversleeps, and comes downstairs wearing Silver Lake Mommy Bohemian Lounge Wear and her hair looks like bees slept in it. Which makes total sense, because if you were sleeping and you heard the entire neighborhood in your yard you would also stumble downstairs looking like ass and not bother putting on pants.

Rachel’s other friend, technically, her FRENEMY, this short, dark haired harpie JEWISH WOMAN  (you know this because the fact she is Jewish is mentioned serval times in the movie) reminds Rachel and her other wealthy mommy friends that there is a wine party tonight and she asks McKenna who she thinks is a nanny and not a SEX WORKER to come over and babysit the children because the MEN are staying at Rachel’s house to play poker. Men play poker and women drink wine in Silver Lake. McKenna gets all super stoked and goes to the Dollar Tree and buys a fuckton of princess shit and play makeup because she gets to hang with little kids and Rachel tells her husband NOT SO FAST, McKenna is a SEX WORKER and NOT a nanny so she should stay home and not babysit. STAY HOME WITH THE MEN WHO ARE PLAYING POKER.

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