Body Image

This Mom’s Rant For Being Shamed For Her Stretch Marks In A Bikini Is Perfect

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If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable in a bathing suit after having kids, you’re certainly not alone. But just because children have changed your body doesn’t mean you have to wear a cover-up or sit in your house like a shut-in because your body is unfit for public viewing. While it’s normal for most moms to feel a little self-conscious at the beach, one mom took it in the opposite direction. She had the balls to post a close-up picture of her stomach with stretch marks in a bikini in response to the reaction she received after a day at the beach.


The mom, named Tannis, added the following rant to her Facebook picture:

“This is an open letter to the 2 guys and 1 girl who decided to skip work today in Sherwood Park where they were building a house, but instead decided to come to Alberta Beach to relax in the sun, enjoy the water and some beers.

I’m sorry if my first attempt at sun tanning in a bikini in public in 13 years “grossed you out”. I’m sorry that my stomach isn’t flat and tight. I’m sorry that my belly is covered in stretch marks. I’m NOT sorry that my body has housed, grown, protected, birthed and nurtured FIVE fabulous, healthy, intelligent and wonderful human beings. I’m sorry if my 33 year old, 125 lb body offended you so much that you felt that pointing, laughing, and pretending to kick me. But I’ll have you know that as I looked at your ‘perfect’ young bodies, I could only think to myself “what great and amazing feat has YOUR body done?”. I’ll also have you know that I held my head high, unflinching as you mocked me, pretending that what you said and did had no effect on me; but I cried in the car on the drive home. Thanks for ruining my day. It’s people like you who make this world an ugly hateful place. I can’t help but feel sorry for the women who will one day bear your children and become “gross” in your eyes as their bodies change during the miraculous process of pregnancy. I can only hope that one day you’ll realize that my battle scars are something to be proud of, not ashamed of.”

After giving Tannis the slow clap she deserves, I have to say that I am so happy she publicly posted this “open letter” rant. I think we’ve all been there before, especially after having kids. I’m just sorry that this woman was criticized so openly and even called “gross” for what looks like a very nice body after having five kids.

I’d also like to point out that this same body-acceptance applies to all men and women, pregnancy aside. There are plenty of people who are afraid to wear trunks or swimwear to the beach because they have stretch marks (possibly related to weight gain) or are not comfortable with their weight. None of these people should be called gross either. None of these people should be made to feel ashamed of their shape.

This message of self-acceptance may be exhausted, but it bears repeating, especially if people are still being shamed at the beach. Tannis taking this rant public is one small victory for moms everywhere who may think twice about wearing a bikini this summer. A bikini isn’t just for slim, toned, supermodel-shaped women; it’s for anyone who wants to wear it with any body type.

(Image: Facebook)


  1. WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

    August 1, 2014 at 8:46 am

    FIVE!!!!!! ?????? HOLY CRAP SHE LOOKS AMAZEBALLS! She looks amazeballs anyway, but after FIVE!!!! That’s fantastic. Good on you Mama!!

  2. Jessifer

    August 1, 2014 at 8:47 am

    Pointing and laughing? Really? How old are these people? Twelve?

    There’s people like that everywhere. If they’re not poking fun at your stretch marks, it’s about your weight, or the way you dress, or even your grey hairs. When I was a student, I was sitting in a bus close to a couple of teenage girls. I was really frazzled with my studies and hadn’t dyed my hair in ages, so I had these long dark brown roots coming out. They were saying stuff like “OMG, like, I would be so embarrassed going out like that. It looks like shit, etc…” and snickering about it, all while making sure that I could still HEAR them. I walked up to them and in my best valley girl voice, said “OMG girls, you’re right! I’m like, such a total loser! I should just, like, go home and kill myself right now!” And then I stepped off the bus as they looked at me, completely shocked.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 1, 2014 at 9:53 am

      YESSSSS! If I ever hear teenage girls mocking me like that, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. They don’t think people will call them on it.

    • Jessifer

      August 1, 2014 at 10:13 am

      The thing is that these girls do this to other girls at their school and get to observe how much it upsets their victims. What they don’t realize is that as people grow older, the majority couldn’t care less what two stupid teenagers on a bus think about them and will actually laugh at THEM for being so immature and superficial.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 1, 2014 at 10:25 am

      Half of them can’t even put on eyeliner correctly, so the joke’s on them.

    • Jessifer

      August 1, 2014 at 10:46 am

      Not to mention plucking their eyebrows way too thin and then penciling them all in… Eek!

    • Justme

      August 1, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      I call it a ‘consider the source’ situation. I’m sure some of my middle school students laugh and make jokes at my expense, but guess what? I’m 30 years old and don’t give two shits what they think of me, as long as they are learning math and doing well in my class. ETA: Well, even if they aren’t doing well, I still don’t care what they think of me….I just want them to do their damn work. 😉

  3. Ursi

    August 1, 2014 at 8:51 am

    I’m not a fan of the open letters people like to post now but I do agree with the sentiment. I haven’t been to the pool in almost 4 years since I hit my highest weight. I’m not ashamed of my body but I’m also aware that being fat in a bathing suit will subject me to ridicule and I’m not prepared for that. Even the modest style full coverage suit I prefer will not hide my weight. So I’ve just avoided doing any activities that require a bathing suit.

    People who mock those with stretch marks, or extra weight, acne, scars, etc do so because they themselves would be ashamed to be seen in public that way and so it angers them that others have the confidence. That’s really all it is. It threatens their view that people who don’t look perfect are unhappy with themselves. These are very petty people and they need to have their closed-minded ideas shaken up a bit.

    • allisonjayne

      August 1, 2014 at 9:06 am

      “because they themselves would be ashamed to be seen in public that way
      and so it angers them that others have the confidence.”

      Nail on the head.

    • Jessifer

      August 1, 2014 at 9:07 am

      It makes me feel sorry for the taunters in a way, because making fun of a woman’s stretch marks was basically the highlight of their day. And that’s petty pathetic.

    • K.

      August 1, 2014 at 10:53 am


      I read about that and I thought, “God, what hateful human beings! …They must have awful lives.”

  4. Justme

    August 1, 2014 at 9:01 am

    I usually don’t like the “my body made babies, what has YOUR body done?” attitude because it can be a little snotty, but in this instance I think that it’s perfect.

    • rockmonster

      August 1, 2014 at 9:27 am

      I hate the attitude, too, but the rant’s more like, “There’s a reason for this, kthanks, it’s not like I just got fat!”

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:34 am

      But what if she did “just get fat”? Would it then have been ok to make fun of her for being out in a bathing suit?

    • rockmonster

      August 1, 2014 at 10:41 am


  5. Spongeworthy

    August 1, 2014 at 9:10 am

    I am 100% in favor of body acceptance for ALL bodies, no matter their shape or size. No one should be ashamed of their body or feel like they can’t go out in a bathing suit.
    That being said, I’m not really a fan of this. I was talking with some friends about it last night. I hate the whole “I made a baby. What has YOUR body done that’s so amazing?” I have a kid. But you know what? My body did some crazy, amazing stuff well before I got pregnant. And it will do amazing stuff after being pregnant too. Pregnancy is not the be-all, end-all measuring stick for women’s bodies. Olympic athletes have bodies that have done amazing things. Are those negated if they never have a kid?
    I know I probably sound nit-picky. And like I said, I am all about the message of body acceptance. But this lady comes off as saying that HER body is amazing because she had kids, and that those who didn’t (like the kids she claimed made fun of her) can’t say their bodies are amazing.

    • Justme

      August 1, 2014 at 9:12 am

      When you say “friends,” do you mean who I *think* you mean?

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:14 am

    • GPMeg

      August 1, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      Mom… Are you… having a stroke?

    • Bethany Ramos

      August 1, 2014 at 9:12 am

      Yes, I really agree with this too.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:18 am

      I know you do. And like I said, the overall message of body acceptance is awesome. I just hate the assumption that if someone’s body hasn’t “made a baby”, it’s less than someone else’s who has, no matter what else they’ve done.

    • Bethany Ramos

      August 1, 2014 at 9:26 am

      Yes! 🙂

    • 2Well

      August 1, 2014 at 9:15 am

      Thank you.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:16 am

      Sure 🙂 I just think the human body in and if itself is pretty freaking cool. No need to put some over others, you know?

    • JenH1986

      August 1, 2014 at 9:18 am

      I agree. I think she looks amazing and even if she didn’t I applaud her doing her. But I hate that her go to was to assume that her “superpower” of having babies makes her somehow better. Those kids, who were assholes, may have done something really amazing with their bodies too. Her body is amazing without the kids, because bodies in general are amazing. However, she should feel free to call out assholes as she pleases..

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:24 am

      That’s exactly it–her body is not better than anyone else’s just because she had kids. It’s different, and it’s great that she’s standing up for herself, but no, you are not more amazing or a better person just because you had kids.
      LOL I was thinking about this a lot last night after I saw it and it just kept bugging me 🙂

    • rrlo

      August 1, 2014 at 9:44 am

      I think this woman’s rant may not reflect her true sentiment (I am guessing, do not know this lady) because I kind of think this way too sometime.

      I had two babies and occasionally seeing my stretch marks bother me. And I say to myself that they are just stretch marks, who cares, I have two wonderful babies to show for it. I think that’s the line of thought she was projecting.

      I was also quite impressed by my pregnant/mother body. Mainly because it kinda did everything on its own. Heh.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:13 am

      I get the line of thinking completely. I just don’t like that pregnancy automatically gets elevated as way more amazing than anything else a woman does with her body.

    • rrlo

      August 1, 2014 at 11:34 am

      Oh yeah for sure. Agreed!

    • Ursi

      August 1, 2014 at 9:20 am

      Usually that sentiment irks the heck out of me too, to be honest. Oh good, you did something that your body is designed to for the continuation of the species, what do you want, a medal? The only reason it didn’t in this letter is because I understand her seeing her stretch marks more or less as battle scars. Something rightfully earned. And so she can be proud of them and that’s how she fights back against this attitude. Also the bit about how she hopes these people will not look at a future partner who has carried their child with such disdain, that really hit me. I guess, this is the one scenario where I think it’s A-ok to pull that card.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:28 am

      She can and should be proud of them, absolutely. I’d probably look a wreck after 5 kids 🙂
      I don’t want to tear this woman down, and I completely understand where she’s coming from. I just HATE when childbirth is seen as the ultimate accomplishment for women’s bodies. Like I said, I have a kid, and I know how hard the process can be. But honestly, I’d be way more amazed by my body if I did a triathlon or climbed Mt Everest.

    • JenH1986

      August 1, 2014 at 9:29 am

      Making a baby is awesome, but even unprepared totally inept assholes can (and do) make babies. We are born with that ability (most of us…) but not all of us will climb Everest, or complete a triathlon.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:32 am

      Exactly! In many ways, I did a hell of a lot more work preparing to be a college athlete than I ever did being pregnant. If I didn’t get pregnant, is all that work negated?

    • JenH1986

      August 1, 2014 at 9:46 am

      Nope. Just like lives without kids are just as fun/awesome/fulfilled as lives with kids. I totally appreciate her snark with the asshole kids though. I mean I just don’t want to see genitalia. I can deal with boobs and ass. I just don’t want to see genitals in public spaces. That’s the only time I’d be “WHAT??!”

    • sudden_valley

      August 1, 2014 at 9:57 am

      Eh, I’m actually on the fence about this one. Normally I hate that sentiment too, but now I’m in the last couple weeks of my twin pregnancy, and I can honestly say this is absolutely the hardest thing my body’s ever done. Hands down. The past three months have been torture, so I can understand someone taking a lot of pride in the accomplishment. Also, the stretch marks are now appearing everywhere on my stomach. I didn’t have a great body before, but I certainly struggled with body acceptance, and I know I will after this is over. So, I have to keep reminding myself what an amazing thing my body is doing, and I know I will need to remind myself of that for a long time to come. To me, her rant reads like her internal monologue to try an accept her new body.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:12 am

      Sorry to hear you’re having a tough go. Pregnancy is not an easy thing, and I’m not trying to come off like it’s a walk in the park.
      I just think lots of people out their bodies through grueling things for one reason or another, and they are all equally valid. For you, pregnancy is the hardest thing you’ve put your body through, and you should absolutely be proud of that. For me, I have other things that I did with my body outside of my pregnancy that were way harder on me. I don’t want my pregnancy to define me as the ONE amazing thing I did with my body.

    • sudden_valley

      August 1, 2014 at 10:16 am

      Oh I agree, people do lots of great/hard things with their bodies, and I HATE when moms are all, “I birthed kids, what have you done lately?” I’m just pointing out that we perceive our bodies differently and have different experiences, and I don’t think she was intending to shame anyone. I mean, there are a lot of people out there for whom walking would be a really hard thing, and that’s something most people don’t struggle with, but if they want to brag about it, go ahead. Body acceptance is all about finding something in your body to be proud of, and that’s not necessarily the same thing for everybody.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:22 am

      Nah, I get you. I’ve no problem with this lady in general, just the message of pregnancy over and above all the other cool things the human body can do. But I agree that it is definitely all about each persons perception of what is “hard” for their body.

    • ChelseaBFH

      August 1, 2014 at 11:09 am

      This isn’t really related to the article, but I just wanted to say, hang in there! You’re almost done! The last bit of a twin pregnancy is MISERABLE. And you might surprise yourself with how you feel about your body afterwards – even though I’m still, 9 months later, 20 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight, I have a hard time mustering much hate about my body because it did such a good job of carrying my boys. I want to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight again, of course, but I’m ok with it taking a while and being a more natural process than dieting and exercising to the extreme (and since I just discovered I’m pregnant AGAIN, it will take a while). And, on a more shallow level, I remember feeling SO SKINNY right after birth because I could suddenly, you know, fit through doorways again (unfortunately that is wearing off). I NEVER expected to feel this way, so it’s been a relief!

    • Old Lady Phillips

      August 1, 2014 at 12:08 pm

      I agree with this completely. If the “my body is amazing because it made babies” concept is helping her (and she’s generally not using it to body shame anyone else) then use it.

    • B

      August 1, 2014 at 10:28 am

      I’m concerned that so many people think that mommie bodies look ‘wrecked’ after kids. Nope, not wrecked, *totally normal*. Nothing to see here.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:34 am

      When I said “look a wreck” I meant more that if I had 5 kids I’d probably be a disheveled, no shower, haven’t had a decent haircut in months mess. Not that my body would be wrecked. So no need to be concerned for me.

    • Chill Mama

      August 1, 2014 at 12:43 pm

      Actually, in this case I view it more as akin to “I went through this surgery/illness, and this is the scar I carry because of it so I won’t be ashamed.” I think it is perfectly legit if people without kids are making fun of you because of the way pregnancy changed your body to pull that card. Doesn’t mean you are more special just because you had a baby.

    • Yep

      August 1, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      Exactly. She was reacting to a very hurtful encounter-I’m impressed that she stayed at the beach after these idiots started in on her. I’m imagining the whole thing and it’s just horrible! She may have never even dreamed about saying something like this until she was mocked openly on a public beach. In this situation she probably just needed to vent, and just maybe, she wanted a little validation from people around her. I don’t blame her, that was an awful experience she went through.

    • ted3553

      August 1, 2014 at 11:50 am

      As I said before, this was from a mom’s group in my town. when I first read it, I really took it as her saying that they were making fun of her stretch marks and she’s defending them because the reason she had them was from having 5 babies. It sounded like she dealt with a real shaming issue and as secure in myself as I am, this would have hurt my feelings and embarassed me too (not to mention pissed me off). I took it as her explaining/ranting that she has stretch marks because she had 5 kids and that there’s no need to comment on her body period.

      Edited to add that I agree that having a baby isn’t what defines me or my ultimate accomplishment. My body was engineered to do that and gazillions of women did it before me.

    • Tina

      August 1, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      Meh. Battle scars is little much, I think it sounds very much like the annoying “tiger stripes” thing. Stretch marks aren’t gross by any means whatsoever but they’re also not something special you get for doing the basic human function of reproducing. It’s simply what happens to skin when it’s required to stretch too fast. Many changes to the body happen through various stages in life, it’s unavoidable and natural. I have a lot of big noticeable stretch marks from my hips growing too fast at puberty and I also have scars on my abdomen from having my appendix taken out. Other people have pockmarks from the acne they had as a teen or even the chicken pox they had as a kid. It’s called HAVING A HUMAN BODY. Why are so many people trying to make pregnancy stretch marks into something they’re not, whether it’s “gross and unattractive” or “special and earned”? Because I don’t see how they’re either one.

    • Justme

      August 1, 2014 at 9:22 am

      I read her rant as an emotional, rage writing kind of post so I guess that’s why I gave her a ‘pass’ on the baby-making-body comment.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:30 am

      Nah, I get that. It just rubbed me the wrong way, I guess. And I mean, why mention her weight? If she’s so into everyone being proud of their body, why say that she’s 125 pounds? If someone in a bathing suit weighs a lot more than that, would it have been ok to make fun of them then?
      On the other hand, it is possible I am WAY overthinking this 🙂

    • JenH1986

      August 1, 2014 at 9:32 am

      I am gonna say no…since others have expressed a similar sentiment.

    • Jessifer

      August 1, 2014 at 9:36 am

      I must admit that I had the same reaction when she mentioned her weight. Why mention that she’s 125lbs? As opposed to what, exactly? To all the *larger* women sitting on the beach that they could be making fun of?

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Yea, exactly! It’s like, I’m not even fat, go make fun of the *real* fatties out here!

    • A

      August 1, 2014 at 10:27 am


    • Ann G

      August 6, 2014 at 6:46 am

      I actually think by stating her weight there’s a bit more impact made. If people think 125 pounds with stretch marks is fat and deserves to be ridiculed, there’s really no hope for those who are 40, 50, 60+ pounds overweight. It goes the other way too, though. My daughter is 17 and has been 105 pounds and 5’6″ since 8th grade. Her doctor says she’s perfectly healthy. She eats like crazy and simply doesn’t gain weight. She’s picked on by her peers for being anorexic, even though she’s not. She’s even had peers try to shove food into her mouth. The bottom line is that people need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves.

    • Old Lady Phillips

      August 1, 2014 at 10:06 am

      I agree; it almost fell into “I’m a goddamn tiger” territory. Thisclose. But the rest of it was pretty awesome that it managed to pass the eye roll test for me.

    • Justme

      August 1, 2014 at 11:59 am

      I hate the “tiger stripes” metaphor. I didn’t get any stretch marks, so obviously I didn’t suffer enough for my child.

    • Old Lady Phillips

      August 1, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      Oh, I got them, just not on my stomach. My hips, thighs and calves though? Yikes. Thank you, edema.

    • Justme

      August 1, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      I threw up for five months in the beginning so I think no stretch marks was my gift in return.

    • Old Lady Phillips

      August 1, 2014 at 12:10 pm

      Oy. Yes, I’d say the universe was fair, in that case!

    • Kitsune

      August 1, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      Man someone hates me because I got throwing up and the stretchmarks. Though my boobs are now spectacular so maybe that was my gift?

    • Justme

      August 1, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      Yes, must be…because mine need lots of support. 🙁

    • jendra_berri

      August 1, 2014 at 10:35 pm

      Yes, mine too! I look it as their apology for failing to lactate.

    • Guinevere

      August 1, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Not fair. I had the non-stop pukes AND got the marks. May the odds be ever in your favor!

    • Jayamama

      August 2, 2014 at 5:24 pm

      I got ten weeks of nausea with my first and innumerable stretch marks on my abdomen and thighs with my second. Joy.

    • jendra_berri

      August 1, 2014 at 10:35 pm

      I didn’t either, although I am sporting mighty chic skin flab that hangs ever so enchantingly over my section scar.

    • Tina

      August 1, 2014 at 10:07 am

      This is EXACTLY what I was thinking the entire time I was reading it. I get the point behind this and I’m all about body acceptance, but I don’t think she needed to go into “what her body has done”. People have stretch marks for many reasons and nobody deserves to be treated this way ever, even if they haven’t given birth. It’s irrelevant to the fact that the people who made fun of her are just completely pathetic jerks. That’s what the focus should be on.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:14 am

      Yes, exactly! Pregnant or not, each person has the ability to do great things with their body. A person who has never given birth should not be told that their body is less than just because of one event.

    • PAJane

      August 1, 2014 at 10:37 am

      I’m with you on this. I approached the article ready to bat for this woman, but that bit totally turned me off.

    • K.

      August 1, 2014 at 11:12 am


      I wish we’d stop trying to moralize visual prejudices.

    • ted3553

      August 1, 2014 at 11:45 am

      This post is from a mom’s facebook group in my town. On the original post, most of the commentors said things like ” no one needs to comment on your body”. They were very general and mainly around how rude people were to comment on her body at all. There were only a couple who pulled the Tiger stripes thing which I’m not a fan of.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 11:57 am

      I think that’s a better overall message. Don’t comment on anyone else’s body, period.

    • Jayamama

      August 2, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      I think the point is not what makes her body amazing, but that their bodies haven’t done anything amazing. They aren’t Olympic athletes, and they haven’t climbed Mt. Everest. They just happen to fit what society says is attractive, and for that, they feel superior to her. She’s saying her body isn’t “perfect” because it’s done amazing things, and their bodies are just young. At least, that’s how I took it.

  6. LilBeavis

    August 1, 2014 at 9:13 am

    Nice pic. Should I post a picture of my hemorrhoids too?

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      August 1, 2014 at 9:57 am

      No, but if you have funky nipples, feel free.


  7. Bleu Cheese Bewbs

    August 1, 2014 at 9:42 am

    I often wonder why people are so affected by how other people – who in no way affect their lives – look. If the people didn’t think she should be wearing a swimsuit, well, too bad for them. If they ever find themselves in the position of not feeling comfortable in a swimsuit, then they don’t have to wear one. If they don’t like the way someone else looks, why keep looking? If it is so offensive and awful, why not just pick up and move to another area of the beach so they don’t have to see what a totally normal body looks like?
    As a side note, I’ve been outside the US and this bathing suit shaming thing does not seem to be so prevalent.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 1, 2014 at 9:57 am

      But…but…people in *other countries* aren’t fat like we are! I just love when Americans who have clearly never left the US say shit like that. Granted, I’ve only been to Canada, Italy and Mexico, but yeah…there were not-skinny folks in all those places, too.

    • sudden_valley

      August 1, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Because criticizing everyone else gives some people self worth. Can you even imagine what the world would be like if everyone just found their own self worth inside themselves?

    • guest

      August 1, 2014 at 12:47 pm

      This happened in Canada.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 1, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      Apologies. I will say then that I’ve been outside North America and this wasn’t really a thing as far as I could tell.

    • mikoda

      August 1, 2014 at 4:36 pm

      Duh, because it’s Canada.

    • K.

      August 1, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      I also think that if you’ve bought into a media-saturated cultural belief that beauty = happiness, being confronted by someone who overturns that assumption by demonstrating, no, one does not have to invest in their appearance to be a happy, functional human being, the follies of your value system are revealed.

      Because let’s face it: living a life compensating for perceived deficits instead of pursuing things that bring real happiness kind of sucks.

      This kind of vitriol that this poor woman experienced and that seems to accompany a brigade of critics who say unbelievably mean things about say, Adele or Melissa McCarthy always amounts to “how DARE she?!” How DARE she **not care** about things that **I** have to care about? It’s always interesting to me that what seems to be most offensive about Adele or McCarthy is not their appearance, but rather the fact that they prove you can be married, have children, be in love and receive love, be successful, be talented, be creative, and be admired, without looking a certain way.

      And in the case of this woman, “Why does SHE get to have a lovely time on the beach, when *I* have to walk around being ashamed of my stretchmarks (or cellulite or flabby stomach or whatever)? SHE is responsible for my pain.”

      (sorry, went a little off topic there. That’s my ‘egghead’ response, anyway 🙂

  8. Jem

    August 1, 2014 at 9:52 am

    When will people realize that the way we present our bodies is not a show for others but usually for ones own reasons?

  9. WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

    August 1, 2014 at 9:55 am

    One reason I love ALL of you is that you all have such unique perspectives. When I first read the letter, I thought, “Yeah! Fuck you little shitmonster-body-shaming-shits!” Then I read some comments and I thought, “Yeah! So what if you weigh 125 pounds! Does that mean a 165 lb lady who never had kids would ‘deserve’ ridicule?!”

    Still more, “Yeah, it was just her emotional and defensive reaction to being humiliated.” Then, “Well jeez, I was a martial artist/triathlete before I had kids and that was pretty amazing (for me)!”

    So I came up with this:

    The kids were ass holes. No one deserves to be humiliated like that. The lady felt awful and acted on impulse and maybe implied things she didn’t mean? Thank you, Mommyish friends, for your marvelous and diverse perspectives.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:15 am

      I want to live in this gif. Just not next to the guy just standing there.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 1, 2014 at 10:18 am

      So much 80’s. It’s fantastic.

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      August 1, 2014 at 10:20 am

      Same here! Is that the guy from Big Bang Theory?

    • K.

      August 1, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      No, I love him. He makes the video for me 🙂

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 12:16 pm

      He’s all yours. That looks like a members only jacket, and I don’t want to be a member 🙂

  10. Old Lady Phillips

    August 1, 2014 at 10:00 am

    It’s taken me until this summer-4 years since I had a baby- to be able to wear a bathing suit in front of people without feeling so self conscious that I couldn’t even enjoy myself. I’ve had body issues my whole life, even when I actually did have a pretty “perfect” body. What helped me, finally, was looking around at all the other people at the beach in their bathing suits, some of them a lot bigger than me, some of them a lot smaller–and none of them looking like they gave a crap. Not about how they looked, and certainly not about how I looked. They were just there to enjoy the beach. Thankfully. Because if I had had to deal with the assholes that this mother did, I would have cried right there. Or started a fight. Good for this mother for being proud of her body for what it is, and for standing up for herself and calling out the body shamers for what they are: insecure bullies.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 1, 2014 at 10:17 am

      I think living in a beachy area in NE really helped me with body acceptance. You go on the beach here, you see every shape and size of people of all ages, and most of them have zero fucks to give about how others think they look in their swimsuits. It has rubbed off on me in the best possible way.

    • Old Lady Phillips

      August 1, 2014 at 10:59 am

      This. This helps a lot–CT is defnitely not Miami Beach. Still, that was a thought that hadn’t occurred to me until literally this year, “Wait, all these bodies look different in their bathing suits but these people don’t seem to care, and also, I also don’t care what they look like, so where the hell did I get the idea that they care what I look like?” Sounds so simple but I’m telling you, it took me forever to realize.

  11. Courtney Lynn

    August 1, 2014 at 10:00 am

    GAH! People SUCK. I wish my belly looked like that after TWO kids. Also, I HATE the body-shaming memes I see people post. The person I know who posts them the most is overweight herself. I used to get uptight in my younger years about what other people were wearing but now I just think it’s a waste of energy. Wear what you want! It’s a free-for-all as far as I’m concerned.

  12. B

    August 1, 2014 at 10:20 am

    Her “what great and amazing feat has YOUR body done” is just another form of body shaming.

    • Guest

      August 1, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      No, it’s really not. They were making fun of her because she had stretch-marks from pregnancy. She’s trying to defend herself, and some people don’t like the way she went about it. Fine. But how is that “body-shaming” them?

    • B

      August 1, 2014 at 3:14 pm

      What does it matter if a body has made a baby or not? That has nothing to do with the discussion – it should be about people treating everyone politely. What amazing feat has YOUR body done is her telling them what she thinks they should be doing with their bodies. No thanks.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 1, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      Her comments somewhat remind me of the body shaming that happens in/around the Dove “real beauty” campaign. Yes, it is good to promote body positivity, but by declaring a different subset of body types “real”, you are still creating a divded and critiquing another subset. Read the comments made on any of those Dove ad postings and you’ll undoubtedly see “Skinny girls are gross!” or “Bones are for dogs. Men want meat!” or some other completely insulting and divisive comment. The same thing is happening here. By stating that the other people’s bodies haven’t done anything so amazing as hers, she is is comparing and critiquing them based on her own standard.

  13. Alexandra

    August 1, 2014 at 10:31 am

    My point on this was – this woman was made fun of, openly, at the beach, and cried on her way home. That is disgusting, and no matter what anyone’s body looks like (3rd degree burn scars, overweight, other types of scars) NO ONE should be made to feel that they have to cover up if they don’t want to. These kids were super cruel and that’s just awful. But also I do feel that she shouldn’t have made this a moms vs. non-moms argument. Some people are assholes – these kids would have made fun of a war veteran with burn scars too.

    • Benwhoski

      August 2, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      I’m with you on this. I’m a big fan of body acceptance and am totally on board with that part of the rant. The kids were assholes. No question.

      But it did give off a “those who have been pregnant” vs. “those who haven’t” vibe. Likewise, the “I feel sorry for the women who will bear your children..” irked me slightly just because it’s the same old “giving birth is the default for women” that always grates on me. Ideally, a person shouldn’t need to justify not being ashamed of their body.

  14. Lackadaisical

    August 1, 2014 at 10:34 am

    It is wrong for her to have been shamed and she is right to feel proud of her motherhood but I am uncomfortable with all the fairly aggressive open letters and memes shared that basically say that physically giving birth makes you a super hero and not having pushed a baby out of yourself makes you less worthy. I am glad she is comfortable with her body and sorry that someone wrongly body shamed her, I really am. However it is wrong to body shame anyone, including people who haven’t given birth, and a woman who can’t or won’t give birth is not in any way inferior to a woman who has.

    • Maria Guido

      August 1, 2014 at 10:49 am

      I totally agree with that, but in her case I really feel like she was just lashing out at these people in particular and sticking up for herself – which I can understand.

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  16. K.

    August 1, 2014 at 10:49 am

    I read this post and wonder if, even though I empathize, even though I want to be supportive, even though I like her spunk,…she (we?) is/are missing the point.

    Pregnancy is not an excuse for one’s looks–that logic only works if one thinks their looks need to be excused or compensated for. I don’t think that the right defense to haters is to say, essentially, “I mean, I agree with your assessment, but you should give me a ‘pass’ because of my life circumstances.” I think the better defense is to say to oneself:

    “You’re right. I don’t live up to your standards. Thank God I’m not living your life; thank God I’m comfortable with my own standards for myself.”

    Stop with the defensiveness. Look how you look. Don’t apologize for it; don’t make excuses for it.

    • Zettai

      August 1, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      Exactly, exactly, exactly. Thank you for saying this.

  17. Guest

    August 1, 2014 at 11:55 am

    This post is from a mom’s facebook group in my town. On the original post, most of the commentors said things like” no one needs to comment on your body”. They were very general mainly around how rude people were to comment on her body at all. THere were only a couple who pulled the Tiger stripes thing which I’m not a fan of.

  18. Kelly

    August 1, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    It’s a stupid, unflattering, boring photo. I don’t see what’s so brave about it.

    It’s just like all the jackasses who post photos of their feet. Why the hell would anyone care to see that? I so hate the trend of lame, narcissistic photos on facebook. Sure, post a picture of you and/or your friends having a good time. But a “hey guys, this is my stomach” shot? WTF? Stupid. I give her zero props.

    • Guest

      August 1, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      After she had just been cruelly made fun of for her stomach, to the point that she cried on the way home? Yeah, I give her props. That is not being narcissistic.

    • Kelly

      August 1, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      You can give her all your props. I give her none of mine. She sounds like a body shaming bitch who got a bit of her own medicine back that day to me.

      They shouldn’t make fun of her because she’s only 125 pounds and has had several kids? She’s saying it’s alright to do it to “fatter” people who haven’t had kids.

    • Gangle

      August 1, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      It was in response to being publicly humiliated over her tummy to the point where she cried. Context. I give her props.

    • Kelly

      August 1, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      If your response to body shaming is to shame others for their bodies then you aren’t part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.

    • Gangle

      August 2, 2014 at 6:07 pm

      Kelly, time to take your chill pill again.

  19. candice

    August 1, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Second recent story coming out of Alberta. Hopefully the next one is positive. We’re not all bad people, I promise.

  20. DawnRKnight

    August 1, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    While it’s normal for most moms to feel a little self-conscious at the beach, one mom took it in the opposite direction. She had the balls to post a close-up picture of her stomach with stretch marks in a bikini in response to the reaction she received after a day at the beach.

  21. koolchicken

    August 1, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    Actually not all of us have been there. I’m 5’10” and a size six, I also have no stretch marks. I do have a big honkin c section scar but that’s covered.

    That said when I see people who look like her I’d never dream of saying anything. Because genetics aside there was always a chance that could have been me. And I know I’m really, really lucky.

  22. mikoda

    August 1, 2014 at 4:33 pm

    It’s not shaming. It’s criticism.

    • Benwhoski

      August 2, 2014 at 7:28 pm

      Shaming _is_ a form of criticism. It’s just a shitty form of criticism.

      And pointing and laughing and “pretending to kick” someone is hardly respectable criticism. It’s not meant to be constructive or useful. Those behaviors are meant to make someone feel awful. That counts as shaming to me.

    • Gangle

      August 3, 2014 at 12:13 am

      Oh you!! If someone walked up to you on the beach, pointed and laughted at you and told you that you were too fat/ugly/saggy/disgusting to be seen in public and that you grossed them out, I am pretty sure you wouldn’t take it as constructive criticism.

  23. guest

    August 1, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    She posted that pic for validation. How narcissistic.

  24. mblackm2

    August 1, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    Excellent response. Kudos to her. Sorry that she had to be subjected to the shallow taunts of immature jerks.

  25. jack_sprat2

    August 1, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    There’s a much bigger issue here, which is going unremarked, which is that the parents of these creatures have utterly failed at their job of raising up decent human beings. It isn’t just Gwyneth and her fellow 1%-ers who are a miserable bunch of narcissists. Their collective unwillingness to do their damn jobs leads, more or less directly, to groups of kids watching excitedly as their peers rape a drunk girl or beat down total strangers for the entertainment value.

  26. Boots

    August 1, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    Yeah – I got this while I was pregnant. Wore a triangle bikini at 9mths because Aussie summers hate preggo ladies. Actually, Aussie summers just hate everyone. But I copped a lot for wearing “inappropriate” or “unflattering” swimwear because my massive belly, complete with marks by week 39, dared see the sunshine too.

    • Gangle

      August 3, 2014 at 12:15 am

      Pregnant ladies deserve triangle bikinis. Everyone deserves triangle bikinis, especially in Aussie summers. Man, this last one sucked hard!

  27. Jack Mehauf

    August 1, 2014 at 10:22 pm

    I can just imagine those kids pouring out like a clown car at the circus…

  28. Stacy Shain

    August 2, 2014 at 8:13 am

    What those guys did was disgusting, but what is the point of her posting that pic?????? And by listing her weight. If she is so comfortable with herself, why post anything at all. Just ignore the jerks and don’t give them attention..

  29. Em

    August 2, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    To each. Still not putting a bikini on my stretch-marked belly. My prerogative.

  30. Stacy Shain

    August 2, 2014 at 8:17 pm

    ok this whole article rubbed me the wrong way. What those guys did was disgusting, and I find it weird they even care about some random girl on the beach. But the fact that this lady stated her weight and put up a pic shows she is insecure and needs validation. She should of ignored the losers and not give them anymore attention. As for the mom comment I feel like that gives some mom’s excuses to let themselves go, like I had kids I earned this body.Alot of mom’s don’t like all the weight they gain, but actually do something about it. The other articles that show out of shape women and state these are what real mom’s look like. Real moms come in all shapes and sizes, and it is ok to work hard to get back into shape.

  31. Theresa

    August 3, 2014 at 10:53 am

    Pretty powerful this lady FB post is… Courageous, I know after have 4 children myself my body has never looked the same. It’s not easy to bare your nearly perfect belly, in today’s society. I honor he bravery….
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  32. Paul

    August 3, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    If you take care of yourself when your pregnant, you wouldn’t look like this. Most comes from sitting on your ass stuff junk in your mouth all day long. My wife gave birth to 3 beautiful children and her body still looked like it did before the first one. No stretch marks and no flabby gut. She worked until 2 weeks before birth and went back to work 4 weeks after birth. She put lotion on every day after her bath and never got any stretch marks. Now she was only around 110lbs through all 3 births so she had to stretch that belly out alot to make room for our son or daughter but never had stretch marks, why. Because she took care of herself because she didn’t want to look gross. This broad should have been wearing a 1 piece suit to show some respect for not only her self but the others who had to see that when they passed by.

    • Benwhoski

      August 3, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      Because it’s just soooooo disrespectful to exist while appearing in a way other people find unattractive. /sarcasm

    • Myshelle

      August 4, 2014 at 12:08 pm

      Your ignorant!

    • Paul

      August 4, 2014 at 6:33 pm

      Thanks, I guess the truth hurts. Wear a 1 pc and you wouldn’t be here. Maybe hoping some doctor will help her fix what she destroyed for free. She should have a little more coverage for her family, so they don’t have to hear people talk about their mom. That can mess her kids up for life and depends their ages. Just one of their friends posting that pic on a website. I feel sorry for the rest of the family, better?

    • XLancer

      August 5, 2014 at 3:46 am


    • Myshelle

      August 5, 2014 at 10:09 am

      You know what Paul who made you the judge? I didn’t know that you knew what was best for everyone. Your so focused on the way the poor women looks that your missing the point here. Three douce bags decided to come up to her and pick her apart and that is the point, not what she was was wearing. I believe this woman has a right to wear whatever she wants to , weather you approve or not. Your part of the problem I was talking about, thinking everyone should “look” a certain way to wear certain clothes. Like I said; your ignorant and close minded!

    • Myshelle

      August 5, 2014 at 10:22 am

      By the way, why don’t you go out and get a one piece to put over your head so you won’t be offended by others appearance. Maybe that’s a solution??

  33. Myshelle

    August 4, 2014 at 9:34 am

    This incredibly beautiful women has absolutely nothing to be sorry for. The people who need to be sorry are the three sad and pathetic people that decided to abuse a person that was minding their own business. What gave them the right to come up to someone and mentally abuse them? These are adults also, this is disgusting! I believe our society is so ridiculous with wanting perfection it’s pathetic. I believe nobody’s perfect and we are so critical of other people. To the women that posted this, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Those three disgusting people that did this to you, they need professional help.

  34. E pluribus unum

    August 21, 2014 at 12:01 pm


  35. Trends

    September 6, 2014 at 2:49 am

    I found this on youtube, which I think is a great Idea for removing stretch marks.

  36. Lisa

    October 4, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    To all of the commentators saying “I don’t agree with the whole tiger stripes thing” – what’s wrong with you?! That is clearly something that makes lots of mothers/fathers feel better about the stretch marks they developed – why on earth would you oppose anything that makes other people feel better and doesn’t hurt anyone??!!! If calling stretch marks “tiger stripes” gives them a positive meaning for the parents, good for them!
    I have to say the way you resent something as innocent as a wee expression makes you sound bitter. If there’s a massive turbulence on an airplane during a flight and you hear a mother/father saying to their frightened child “don’t worry sweetie, we’re on a roller coaster! it’s like like in a theme park!” – would you intervene and correct them and say “excuse me, just for the sake of being FACTUALLY CORRECT, can I just point out that you are NOT in a theme park, this is a flight and turbulence makes it xx times more likely that the plane will crash”?

  37. tomasiepants

    November 6, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    I got looks on the beach wearing my banana hammock.

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