1. When I'm hungry.
Kids are famous for eating snacks constantly and never finishing the food you order for them. When my burger has already taken the trip into my gullet and I'm still feeling a bit peckish, there's bound to be a rejected chicken nugget or two nearby.
2. When I really don't want to go to that party.
Even though you were all for it at the time, now that the day for your co-worker's BBQ has finally arrived, you just don't feel like packing up the family and going. Saying your child isn't feeling well is the perfect excuse that lets you stay home without hurting the host's feelings.
3. When they fall asleep on me.
Few things on earth make me feel the warm fuzzies like when my kids snuggle up on and start to snooze, because it it provides me with the perfect excuse to ignore that pile of laundry in the basement just a little longer.
4. When I need to poop in public.
We try to play off pooping like it's no big deal when we are desperately pleading with a toddler to use the potty instead of a diaper, but Real Talk Time-- pooping in public is never comfortable. But when your kids are in tow and the store has a family restroom, you can change them and take care of your business without having your family's odors offend anyone else.
5. When I'm singing in the car.
A woman in her 30's alone in a car belting out Taylor Swift lyrics is bound to draw some stares, but if there are kids in the backseat you'll be viewed as engaged mom entertaining her kids instead of an oddity who really needs to work on her vibrato.
6. The day after Thanksgiving.
My love of all things holiday related means I've always wanted to decorate the house as soon as the Thanksgiving leftovers have hit the fridge. Now that I have kids, I can use my cover as Santa Claus to justify decorating every flat surface of the house in candy canes, gingerbread and snowmen.
7. When I'm at a busy store buying just a couple items.
It's annoying when there are no express checkout lanes open and you get in line behind someone with a cart full of items while you're only there for milk. However, sometimes the stars align such a way that the stranger in line in front of you is extremely nice and your child is acting especially sweet, so they kindly offer to let you jump in front of them.
(image: Sunny Studio/Shutterstock.com)