The first day of school is pretty much the BEST holiday of the year, second only to holidays where I receive fabulous prizes done up in beautifully wrapped parcels bedecked with shiny ribbon. I love my kids, and I love having them around, but I sure do like them when they aren't here. But as any parent can tell you, there is a special sort of stress that comes with getting your kids ready and out the door for the first day of school, and no matter how well you plan everything out and how carefully you schedule the morning of the big day, something will go wrong. And it will be at least one of these things.
That Beautiful Lunch You Carefully Prepared Will be Left On The Kitchen Counter
That lunch you worked so hard constructing and the adorable note you included wishing your child a happy first day of school? It will be forgotten, so you better plan on dropping it off at the school or else leave it in your child's backpack and stick that backpack in your refrigerator so then your child can..
Somebody Will Forget The Backpack
(Photo: J. Crew)
If your school is like my school, you have to bring so many things for the first day your child looks like they are moving out. Of the house. So you cram as many school supplies as you can in the backpack and in addition, your child has to also carry with three market bags shoved full with tissue boxes, hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes. It's a bonus if your school lets you drop these items off ahead of time, but more often than not they want your child to bring these things with for the first day so they can "check the items off." But this won't really matter, because in addition to forgetting their back they will also ...
Your Kid Will Not Have The Right Whatever
(Image: Hong Vo /shutterstock)
Whatever you have purchased is wrong, because your kid needed three fern green notebooks and your purchased three mountain meadow ones and you so could not find the atomic tangerine ones because every smart parent bought every single one from every other place in your town that carries school supplies way back in June before you went school supply shopping. When your kid has to have a certain color of notebook or folder, you better believe there will be one color that is impossible to find.
Even With An Entire Target Store's Worth Of School Supplies, You Will Also Write A Check Or Three
At my schools, in addition to A.P fees and book fees, we also have activity and class fees. Not including the other fees I pay for my high school kid to take college classes (and choir) I have to pay class fees totaling over 150 bucks for my kids. The first day of school in my district is a very expensive holiday. But that's not all, because in addition to forgetting things and spending huge amounts of money, your kid will also..
Your Kid Will Not Get The Teacher They Wanted
Our district has a teacher request form but do I ever remember to fill it out? No. Because I love listening to my kids complain they did not get the teacher they wanted and instead got the "mean" teacher who gives out tons of homework.
The School Will Call For Some Reason
And it will be a stupid reason. Either you forgot to sign a form, or your kid needs their medical records updated, or they need chap stick. I seriously once got a call the first week of school because the school secretary felt I needed to bring in chap stick for my kid because his lips looked dry.
One Of You Will Oversleep
Not because you haven't been putting the kids to bed early the week before to prepare for this, but because for some random reason your alarm won't go off. All I know is someone won't be waking up on time. And even if you do wake up on time...
Something Will Go Wrong Getting There
Either the bus will be late, or your car will be low on gas, or the second you strap the baby into the car seat and get your kindergartner settled into their booster seat the baby will have a bad diaper. And I mean the sort of bad diaper that goes all the way up their back and you have to bathe them in the kitchen sink and completely change their entire outfit diaper. Bonus points if you are also trying to get yourself to work on time.
Your Kid Will Decide They Don't Want To Go
This usually happens with the kid who is MOST excited about going to school. On the first day, they will randomly decide they have zero interest in going and many, many tears will ensue. Oh, you can get them there, it will just involve tears and bribery.
And Yeah, You Will Actually Miss Them
And wonder how their day is going, and if they have their friends in their class , and whether they like their teacher. You will probably walk by their bedroom door, and start counting the minutes until they rush in, handing you a gazillion forms to fill out, and chattering excitedly about their day.