Baby showers are a nice way to set up soon-to-be parents with all the things they need to survive their baby's arrival. But there are a lot of things new parents might not realize they need, and a lot of them aren't stocked on the shelf at the local Babies 'R' Us. Looking for a shower gift? Pick up one of these and throw in a cute onesie for the little one, and call it a day.
1. Scented candles
Sorry to break it to you, expecting parents, but your future kids' shit is going to stink. Nothing lingers in the air like eau de dirty diaper, but you can at least mask it by lighting a cupcake-scented candle at the Altar of Breathability.
2. Hair ties
Registering for childproofing stuff is common enough, but hair ties are what everyone's going to need once crawling tots figure out how to work the latches and clips. Plus, it's always nice to have extras on hand to put your hair up before tackling a diaper poopslosion.
3. Clorox wipes
The outside world is disgusting. So are toddlers. I'm a big fan of germ exposure, but sometimes (like when the dog leaves a 'surprise' on the kitchen floor) only the cleansing power of Clorox and/or a flamethrower will cut it.
Not baby Tylenol. The adult kind. You're going to need it. So, so much of it. (Psst ... better make it extra strength.)
5. Gift certificates to Lenscrafters
Within five minutes of learning how to grab for objects, your baby is going to try to whip the glasses off of your face. A backup pair is a must, unless you like trying to take care of an infant while stumbling around like Mr. Magoo.
I'm not talking nursery decor (there isn't supposed to be anything in the baby's crib anyway). But pillows are great for wedging beside chairs and cramming behind tables as soft yet baby-impenetrable barriers.
7. Spare phone charger
A smartphone provides white noise during naps, diaper-change distractions, and an on-demand reference guide to what exactly that rash is and what the hell you're supposed to do about it--not to mention the penchant for amateur camera photography 99.9% of new parents will develop.
Portable parent units for the monitor will guzzle batteries faster than your baby slams a bottle--not to mention the obnoxious talking toy that never ... shuts ... up, much to Baby's delight and your despair. No parent wants to be caught in an infant tear-storm as Elmo's giggles slowly descend in pitch and volume until he sounds like a very sleepy demon. A 40-pack like the one in the picture should last a good week, hopefully.
I got one of these for Christmas this year and I do not understand how I lived without one for the first year of my kids' life, or at least why I wanted to. Dustbust ALL THE THINGS.
New parents, you deserve this. I suggest top-shelf champagne or a good bottle of bourbon ... but whatever you choose, be sure not to mix it with the Tylenol.
(Feature image: g-stockstudio / Getty)