Pregnancy

10 Reasons Being Pregnant Over The Holidays Rocks Even Though You Can’t Get Crunk

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6. You win points with your spouse and friends by being the designated driver.

You’ll feel all warm and gooey for doing a good deed during the holiday season. Or at least you can take incriminating photos for your own glee.

 7. You can avoid the Christmas chores you hate.

Maybe you despise decorating the tree. Clutch your pearls over how tall the tree is and the potential of electrocution, then curl up on the couch with a mug of cocoa to watch others decorate. Or maybe you hate filling out Christmas cards. Say the envelope glue is bad for baby and that your “pregnancy brain” makes it hard write addresses. Loathe wrapping gifts? Enlist a “helper.” Then take frequent breaks, and blame it on the baby kicking on your bladder.

 8. You’re too warm to feel the cold.

No need to bring a coat when you go shopping, no hats to create a static ball out of your hair, no freezing feet when you get into bed at night. Building a human is seriously warm business and you are HOT. Follow your instincts, even if it means sleeping with the window open. Tell your partner to get a parka and remind them that you’re saving on the utilities this way.

9. You can shop the holiday sales for baby gear.

 Babies are expensive, so this time of year can be great for snagging those high ticket items (car seat, stroller, high chair, play yard) at a bargain.Buying stuff for baby is exciting any time of the year but buying stuff for baby at a bargain will completely satisfy your nesting instinct and make you accomplished. Don’t forget to use part of your savings to get something for yourself.  Maybe some new shoes, since it’s likely yours no longer fit. The best part is that you can use your bump as a way to navigate the crowds without having to throw elbows.

10.   People will let you cut in line.

Holiday crowds mean lines everywhere, but try rubbing your belly and smiling at strangers while you wait in line to checkout/wait to use the bathroom and you may just be rewarded with the magic words, “Oh, you go ahead”…why thank you. Note- Karma dictates that you must do this for pregnant women in line behind you next year.

And remember, no matter what your holiday season brings, relax and enjoy it, knowing  that next year, Baby’s First Christmas will come with a whole new set of very different, but very awesome perks.

(Related: 10 Things To Avoid For A Happy Pregnancy)

(Image: getty)

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121 Comments

  1. Justme

    December 10, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Two words: maternity jeans. I’m tempted to bring them out of retirement every Thanksgiving and Christmas just for the sole reason that they will expand to fit all the mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and cornbread stuffing I shove in my face.

    • Paul White

      December 10, 2013 at 12:07 pm

      as a male, I’m limited to sweatpants for that role.

    • Janok Place

      December 10, 2013 at 12:23 pm

      Men should totally be allowed to wear Mat jeans. In fact, all jeans should come with the delightful stretchy band and we could do away with the painful button business all together.

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      Or we could stop being lazy and fat. Maybe then our pants would fit better.

    • Eve Vawter

      December 10, 2013 at 12:26 pm

      Oh fuck that

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:28 pm

      I agree. I’m all for fat and lazy. My wife makes these amazing cake pops. I think it’s her way of making sure they need a flat bed to get my butt out of the house.

      By the way HELLO EVE!!!

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:29 pm

      Hi cool mod lady

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      Watch this one Eve. He bites and we’re pretty sure he has some weird monkey disease.

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:31 pm

      I don’t bite beautiful mods

    • Justme

      December 10, 2013 at 2:50 pm

      I wear my yoga pants in the effort to look like a “chic but casual” suburban mom…but in reality, I just need more room for my food baby.

    • Andy

      December 10, 2013 at 2:05 pm

      Yeah, I had my baby in September, so ‘technically’ I could still get away with the maternity jeans-that is, if they hadn’t gotten a huge rip up the inseam and had to go to jean heaven 🙁

    • Kay_Sue

      December 10, 2013 at 2:25 pm

      I was just about to say this myself, lol. I resisted getting them the first go round, and when I finally did, oh my, they were the one thing about being pregnant that I was totally unwilling to give up.

  2. Bethany Ramos

    December 10, 2013 at 11:09 am

    I wasn’t called pretty per se, but my FIL did refer to me as “very pregnant” in a Christmas email at only 5mo preggo – I guess it was better than saying “hormonal bitch monster.” 😉

    • Zettai

      December 10, 2013 at 11:35 am

      LOL @ hormonal bitch monster. Think that needs the official HBM acronym.

  3. LadyClodia

    December 10, 2013 at 11:33 am

    I wasn’t pregnant over the holidays; well, only Thanksgiving I guess. My companion piece to this would be “10 reasons why it sucks to have a newborn over the holidays.”

    • Justme

      December 10, 2013 at 2:47 pm

      But as a teacher, if you’re going to have a baby during the school year – around Thanksgiving and Christmas is the best time to do it because then you don’t have to take as much maternity leave (which is never, ever paid for when you are a teacher).

  4. allisonjayne

    December 10, 2013 at 11:34 am

    ALSO if you are at least a couple months pregnant over the holidays, that means you won’t be pregnant in the summer, which I’ve heard really sucks!

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:19 pm

      i think you should just skip the pregnancy thing all together. That way, you don’t have to use math for timing, seasons, etc.

    • Janok Place

      December 10, 2013 at 12:22 pm

      DD1, July 14th. Heat Wave. Yup.

    • Bethany Ramos

      December 10, 2013 at 1:30 pm

      No way. The bulk of my pregnancies were in colder months for Texas, and I was and still am a sweaty mess. 🙁 You are a saint.

    • Janok Place

      December 10, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      This one is due in March, I did a little party dance 😉 Granted, I’m in Canada… I’m not sure July here is any better then the colder months in Texas. PS, sorry about all that snow… we have none, the world is backwards.

    • Bethany Ramos

      December 10, 2013 at 2:13 pm

      Haha when it snows here, worlds collide!

    • Dusty

      December 10, 2013 at 4:44 pm

      I would die if I had to do pregnancy during Houston’s summer months. DIE.

    • Andy

      December 10, 2013 at 7:00 pm

      I did that this past summer. Forget dying, it’s a good thing I didn’t kill anyone, I was so miserable.

    • Justme

      December 10, 2013 at 1:09 pm

      It’s actually not that bad (so I’ve heard) because you can wear big flowing dresses and sitting in a pool takes a considerable amount of weight off from carrying that baby around.

    • ChillMama

      December 10, 2013 at 8:17 pm

      No, just…no. Big and flowing quickly turns into sticky and uncomfortable. And if you don’t have a pool, all you can do is pout and sweat. Especially if you don’t have AC. 🙁

      *written by a woman who was waiting for an overdue baby during a record-setting heat wave and drought. The memory is still all too clear.

    • Justme

      December 10, 2013 at 8:34 pm

      I don’t know – depends on the situation, I suppose. My friends who were all pregnant during the summer really enjoyed it because they’re teachers which meant no getting up in the mornings and putting on work clothes. They could also take midday naps and rest their feet when necessary. And I have a pool so that meant weekly dip sessions in the water.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      December 10, 2013 at 5:54 pm

      I had my daughter August 31. Two weeks before I gave birth we had a record heatwave in Washington state and it got to 104. This may have been okay if I didn’t work in a pizza place with insufficient air conditioning at the time, next to a 500 degree oven. I planned poorly.

    • OhHeyDelilah

      December 10, 2013 at 7:42 pm

      Unless you’re on the other side of the globe. I’m in Australia, and apparently we’re heading for the hottest summer on record. And I’m six months pregnant *cries*

  5. Rebecca R

    December 10, 2013 at 11:41 am

    I’m only 10 weeks along right now; not enough for strangers to know and let me skip ahead in line, but all of my family knows and I already used my pregnancy as an excuse to be first in line at Thanksgiving dinner and for my husband to carry all of the Christmas decorations down from the attic. It’s going to be a great Christmas.

  6. candyvines

    December 10, 2013 at 11:45 am

    Naps 🙂

  7. G.E. Phillips

    December 10, 2013 at 11:50 am

    I only have one child, but I’m guessing all of the above is mostly true if you’re pregnant with your first child over the holidays (which I was, a glorious 7 months–big enough for all of the above to apply, but not so big that I was no longer capable of enjoying life.) I would think that if you’re pregnant over the holidays AND have one or more small kiddos already running around, it’s probably more stressful.

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      You could always smoke some weed and chill out.

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:14 pm

      what’s wrong with alcohol?

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Didn’t you hear it causes teen pregnancy.

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      yeah, but whats wrong with alcohol?

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      uhhhmmm It causes teen pregnancy.

    • Frances Locke

      December 10, 2013 at 8:08 pm

      Alcohol is the cause, and solution, to all of life’s problems. – Homer J. Simpson, aka my life guru.

    • G.E. Phillips

      December 10, 2013 at 12:35 pm

      Um, not just teen pregnancy. My son’s conception was literally sponsored by Jagermeister and boxed wine.

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      Mine was from those mixed drinks in a bag. You know the ones that you put in the freezer and then squeeze out into a cup. I know it’s kinda fruity but, it’s the best way to get my wife drunk.

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:40 pm

      THAT is a winning combination!

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 12:17 pm

      IDK, these pregnancy rules keep changing. When my mom was young they suggested smoking to keep pregnancy weight down.

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:18 pm

      weed or cigs? I go for weed

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:19 pm

      Crack is better. Have you ever seen a crack head. They look like a damn skelton.

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:19 pm

      Yep. I know some.

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 12:21 pm

      Cigarettes. She sort of missed the whole crazy 60’s & 70 ‘s drug culture. I think I mention she eventually became an Anglican priest!

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:22 pm

      aren’t priests… male?

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 12:23 pm

      Not the Church of England

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      I’m a priest in the Federation of Klingon Evangelicals.

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:25 pm

      well, good point. Isn’t Liz head of that church?

    • Eve Vawter

      December 10, 2013 at 12:27 pm

      I have a beautiful photo of my mom breastfeeding me, cigarette dangling from her lips

    • G.E. Phillips

      December 10, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      I have that exact photo! Well, I mean, not of your mom, but you know what I mean.

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      cuz that woulda been creepy as heck!

      puahahaha

    • G.E. Phillips

      December 10, 2013 at 12:36 pm

      Me, personally? Yes, I could, but I’m not pregnant.

  8. Maxx

    December 10, 2013 at 11:59 am

    testing

  9. Brokeass Mirror

    December 10, 2013 at 11:59 am

    I dunno, the not drinking part must still suck…

    • Maxx

      December 10, 2013 at 11:59 am

      puahahaha

    • Maxx

      December 10, 2013 at 11:59 am

      not banned

    • Eve Vawter

      December 10, 2013 at 12:29 pm

      did you guys get banned from CNN again?

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:32 pm

      we missed you

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:36 pm

      Maxx went to Lunch. We actually just wanted to stop by and say hello. We haven’t been banned from CNN.

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:37 pm

      Eve, you are more than welcomed to join our new crib here

      http://kreslev.tumblr.com/post/69588936403/title#comment-1157477113

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:38 pm

      ^^^Stalker^^^

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:39 pm

      teehee

    • Faddisphere

      December 10, 2013 at 12:43 pm

      Hello Eve, good to see you again.

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      Don’t be such a prude. I say go for it and drink! Don’t let anyone tell you what to do sweetheart!

    • Maxx

      December 10, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Right….drink till u puke and drink some more.

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      When pregnant you can have oxytocin

    • Paul White

      December 10, 2013 at 12:07 pm

      You know, I got nothing against having some fun and getting a bit tipsy, but I really do get a bit worried at the “OMG I CAN’T GET DRUNK!” type of thing.

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:13 pm

      six years. after awhile you don’t think about it. just like a bad relationship

    • box of rocks

      December 10, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      papa?

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:31 pm

      HOLY SHIRT! Dude, where you been homez?

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:32 pm

      You dont know? What kind of father are you?

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:34 pm

      puahahaha nice.

      OK, i’m gonna delete my posts cuz yall just drew the mod’s attention

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:41 pm

      no need me an her are all good

    • box of rocks

      December 10, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      out for a couple of weeks. been back since friday, but i’m slammed at work. tryin to dig out. tell ice or kres that i can’t post.

  10. Maxx

    December 10, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    Eve where are you?

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:31 pm

      True love must be reunited

    • Anna Molly

      December 10, 2013 at 12:32 pm

      she down below

  11. Guyzer398

    December 10, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    Just make sure they put the bar down when you get on the roller coaster

  12. HumanCommodity3

    December 10, 2013 at 12:15 pm

    I don’t always get pregnant but when I do I drink Dos Equis

    • Ripley

      December 10, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      get them started while they’re young! thats what i say

    • candyvines

      December 10, 2013 at 12:16 pm

      I have do not always make good sentence.

  13. Anna Molly

    December 10, 2013 at 12:16 pm

    Dang this article is too late…it’s December already

  14. Shanstar2109

    December 10, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    So true. What a great article!!!

  15. Ripley

    December 10, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    Whats with the white house down guy? I thought this was a room about babies.

    • Justme

      December 10, 2013 at 2:10 pm

      I’d make babies with him, does that count?

  16. Janok Place

    December 10, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    I want that dress, please… someone? Anyone? 6 months pregnant at Christmas is very little fun, and green satin trimmed with gold would totally make it a party!

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 12:34 pm

      I’d ask the significant other. Not mine though, she probably wouldn’t take to kindly to pregnant women asking her on my suggestion for clothes…

  17. HumanCommodity3

    December 10, 2013 at 12:22 pm

    I’ve seen them fetch as much as forty bucks, used.

  18. Faddisphere

    December 10, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    Testing 1…2…4

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:44 pm

      You fail. You missed the 5.

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:45 pm

      But Fadd’s way is more efficient

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:46 pm

      Yes but, what if you only have 5 apples. How are you going to count to four. Huh???? Tell me I need answers!!

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:48 pm

      4 + 2 = 5 apples

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:49 pm

      Hmmmm.. Something seems off with your math. Let me get my asian out for a minute.

    • Brokeass Mirror

      December 10, 2013 at 12:53 pm

      I had to fire my asian recently.

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:58 pm

      They are fairly easy to replace. Just be careful though. When you’re not looking they’ll convince your wife to buy a Kia and replace your boss with one of their friends.

    • Faddisphere

      December 10, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      It’s the new math.

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      It’s the american math. No answer is wrong.

  19. jess

    December 10, 2013 at 12:46 pm

    frankly id rather get crunk. and as for eating guilt free, my doctor constantly tells me i shouldn’t put on more weight and i should watch what i eat – ive put on 28 pounds at 30 weeks though i was underweight pre-pregnancy – so i can’t relax and enjoy food

  20. rompy Room Raff

    December 10, 2013 at 12:57 pm

    Just gobble lots of taters and gravy. LOTS I TELL YOU!
    You’ll be fine. NOM NOM NOM NOM!
    ‘Sides it’s only 2 dinners per year. Thanksgiving and Xmas.

    • NotHarryCaray

      December 10, 2013 at 1:03 pm

      BOWWWWL O’ GRAVVYYYYY

    • rompy Room Raff

      December 10, 2013 at 1:08 pm

      Hmmm gravy boat!

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 1:09 pm

      Hey there’s an article on the snuggle house that you might like.

      https://mommyish.com/2013/12/09/snuggle-house-closes/

  21. NotHarryCaray

    December 10, 2013 at 1:04 pm

    So, this is solely focused on the woman, huh? Figures!

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 1:05 pm

      Not solely……. Well not entirely….. Some are about kids and other junk.

    • NotHarryCaray

      December 10, 2013 at 1:05 pm

      Well, this article doesn’t even mention that, since the pregger doesn’t have to clean up, her husband does! And what about putting up the Christmas tree?!?!

    • AgonySpews

      December 10, 2013 at 1:07 pm

      Don’t put the Christmas tree up yourself. That can hurt, and it’s pretty disgusting mental imagery anyway.

    • NotHarryCaray

      December 10, 2013 at 1:12 pm

      I usually put it up myself but then she decorates it and services it.

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 1:07 pm

      What about hanging the lights. Not to mention the work all the work to maintain the cars and yard. I’m sensing a little bit of ingratitude.

    • NotHarryCaray

      December 10, 2013 at 1:12 pm

      Men always get the short end of the stick!

    • Frozen_Dude x12

      December 10, 2013 at 1:14 pm

      Don’t bring that stick anywhere near me dude. I don’t swing that way.

    • NotHarryCaray

      December 10, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      Just thought you might appreciate fine art. I’ll put it away now.

    • rompy Room Raff

      December 10, 2013 at 1:31 pm

      *broads

    • HumanCommodity3

      December 10, 2013 at 1:33 pm

      How did that happen?

  22. Jessica

    December 10, 2013 at 4:14 pm

    #8 I was constantly hot all through my pregnancy. Thankfully my daughter was born in March. My husband slept in hoodies & multiple comforters because of my open window. It seriously couldn’t get cool enough for me to sleep.

  23. nicole

    December 11, 2013 at 10:52 am

    My daughter was born in February and my son at the very end if December. So i was pretty massively pregnant for both thanksgiving and christmas two different holiday seasons. I agree with most of this list. However when i hit month 9, I couldnt really eat that much at once or else i felt awful because my stomach was so smushed. So the christmas i was pregnant with my son was not very pleasant. We went to a fancy buffet at a nearby resort restaurant for christmas dinner that year so i wouldnt have to cook. It was full of deliciousness that i just couldnt fit into my stomach. Total waste of lovely buffet. My husband and daughter sure enjoyed it though.

  24. Nikki

    December 13, 2013 at 4:02 am

    I’m not pregnant, but I love the snarky tone of this article. Also, my nonpregnant brain got distracted and started making comments on some of the GIFs. Here they are for your reading pleasure:
    1. GIF #5: Pregnant or not, every girl everywhere needs to have Channing Tatum (or her personal hot-celeb equivalent thereof) tell her “You look beautiful today” every day. It’s a huge confidence boost.
    2. GIF #7: Although I have no desire to either have kids (at least not in the next 5 years) or join the Hunger Games bandwagon (just no-I feel it’s a ripoff of two Stephen King books he wrote under his old pseudonym Richard Bachman), I can’t help but think that a pregnant Katniss would be one of the most badass things ever and have the most badass kids ever.
    3. GIF #9: MINIONS!!!! I love minions, and shopping, and how excited the minions are about shopping. I want to go shopping with the minions!

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