10 ‘Do As I Say And Not As I Do’ Rules Every Parent Has

As parents, we’re responsible for being good role models for our kids. Sometimes, though, it’s a little more convenient to explain our ideal concept of good behavior, instead of having to actually act it out ourselves. Here are ten cases of ‘do as I say and not as I do’ rules our kids are just going to have to live with (as long as we can live with ourselves).

1. Never drink directly out of the juice carton.

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Unless you’re really thirsty and know that if you take the time to go get a glass and pour into it properly, your kid will come into the kitchen and see what you’re doing and throw a juice tantrum.

2. Don’t put the empty cookie box back in the cupboard.

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When you’re running on three hours’ sleep thanks to someone else’s teething fussiness, you can be a pig too.

3. Blowing your nose on your sleeve is a no-no.

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Unless your small child is asleep on you and the Kleenex box is on the other side of the room.

4. Be considerate of other other drivers.

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For grown-ups, being ‘considerate’ sometimes entails laying on the horn and screaming, “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU ABSOLUTE ASSHAT?!” instead of something much wosre.

5. Don’t slouch.

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My posture is already ruined, but there’s still hope for you to not grow up to be a C-clamp.

6. Voting is going to be your civic duty once you turn 18.

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Including off-year spring elections that whiz by while you’re chauffeuring your own future offspring to and from school, soccer practice, and orchestra rehearsal.

7. Don’t stand there staring and just leave the fridge door hanging open.

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Your glaring at it isn’t going to turn that apple into chocolate pudding. My glaring at it, however, just might.

8. Clean your room.

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And stay out of my room, lest you get trapped under one of the piles of clean underwear and socks that have been waiting to be put away since approximately the Reagan administration.

9. You have to take at least one bite of everything on your plate.

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Unless your name is “Mom” and the everything you’re faced with includes raw celery, in which case the plate will be unceremoniously tipped onto the floor for the dog’s benefit.

10. Go to bed at a reasonable hour.

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Or preferably, even earlier than a reasonable hour, because Mommy has a lot of Daredevil to binge-watch.

(Feature image: ATIC12 / Getty)

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