The #RateASpecies Hashtag Is Everything You Needed in Your Life
I truly believe that if we could get just ONE funny thing everyday, life would seem like much less of a shitshow. Just one really hilarious thing we can laugh at while we pretend everything isn’t awful. Today, that one funny thing is the #rateaspecies hashtag on Twitter. A bunch of zoos rating animals with a star system? Yes please. These zoos don’t hold back! It’s like a review section on Amazon, but funnier. 15/10, would recommend.
I know you probably never realized how much you wanted zoos rating animals. Same here. But now that it’s a thing? It’s the BEST thing.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ PRAYING THEY KEEP MAKING THESE
As seen on @Oatmeal. Full set is the ultimate seafood multi-tool: tenderizes, slices and serves in milliseconds! Comes in all colors plus some you can’t see.#rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/vm2YhrBihR— Monterey Bay Aquarium (@MontereyAq) March 9, 2018
Don’t you just hate it when you fall in love with something and then it gets discontinued? Whatever that thing up there is, let’s hope it stays in production.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ 3/5 Audio Recorder: Mixed feelings on this review. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. It only records what it finds interesting. AND will replay LOUDLY usually at or BEFORE sunrise.Also, no battery needed. Requires fresh fruits & veggies. VERY MESSY.
#rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/WLnQiSVjOt— Rick Schwartz (@ZoologyRick) March 10, 2018
I really appreciate zookeeper Rick’s honesty here. This is information you need to have before making such a big investment.
⭐️⭐️ 2/5 stars only. The description stated it was a mammal. Upon arrival this echidna laid an egg. A baby hatched out, that I later found out is called a puggle. I swear if I wanted more Harry Potter Fantastic Beasts I would by another book!#rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/DHrU3gZvzx
— Rick Schwartz (@ZoologyRick) March 9, 2018
Rick coming through again with the honest rating. 2/5 stars? Brutal. But in his defense, when you think you’re getting a mammal and it lays an egg? Time to take advantage of that return policy.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ GREAT VALUE
LOVE these. Must-have on all outdoor adventures. Keeps bugs off even when wet. Cordless.#rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/aGJ7GsMlhj— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) March 9, 2018
Cordless, you say? SOLD.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED
This stylish little unit is amazing. Sound quality A+. No distortion at full volume but bass is a little weak. Top rotates which is a plus. #rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/OYaWOfzosA— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) March 9, 2018
If you’re looking for top-notch sound quality and a rotating top, look no further. Bonus: mice seem to have an aversion to this particular model.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Overall very good first impressions. Sturdy built, totally winter-ready and waterproof. Only comes in brown but that’s actually a plus for me. #rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/IK99ODsTPT— Oregon Zoo (@OregonZoo) March 9, 2018
Sometimes having too many color options can be overwhelming. Winter- and waterproof is a plus.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ otter be 4 stars but
ok first of all i'm very satisfied much improved over river edition. extremely warm insulation which adds buoyancy. if u like kelp the UrchinCrusher+ is a must on coastal trips. minus one star because it's actually a weasel lol?! #rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/oCGV3aGlZ0— Monterey Bay Aquarium (@MontereyAq) March 9, 2018
“Otter be 4 stars but” LOLOLOL. Zoos rating animals are punny! So the Monterey Bay Aquarium was a bit stingier with their otter stars. But again, when you order an otter and get a weasel, that’s a problem.
⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ HIGH-KOALATY, IF SLUGGISH
Who's got four thumbs and loves to sleep?#rateaspecies pic.twitter.com/fzedtnFODx— Los Angeles Zoo (@LAZoo) March 9, 2018
“High-Koalaty.” You guys. I can’t with these zoo people.
Do yourselves a favor and take a few minutes (or the whole day, who cares) to scroll through the entire hashtag. I promise you, you will not be disappointed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Amazon to see about getting me one of those otter fellas. Looks cute, hopefully the reviews are true.