10 Totally Irrational Fears I Have As A Parent

I really didn’t want to write this post, but Eve threatened to blackmail me, so here goes. Parents, what are you most afraid of? I feel like I spend the majority of my day trying to get evil, worst-case scenario parenting thoughts out of my head, and I hardly ever win.

I do have an obsessive personality, so sometimes I struggle with compulsive checking””baby gates, stove knobs, toilet lids, the works. Fearful parents, I feel your pain. You may want to read this post at your own risk since it covers the top 10 worst parenting fears that creep into your brain in the middle of the night. The stuff nightmares are made of.

But who am I kidding? If you Google any parenting problem, these horrible topics are going to pop up. So read on and prepare yourself to lose some sleep tonight.

As a parent, I’m terrified of”¦

1.    SIDS.

The moment you get pregnant and start researching baby stuff, it’s SIDS, all day, every day. I’m not discounting the horror that is SIDS, and my heart breaks for parents that have lost a child. But I wish the “SIDS propaganda” was a little less aggressive for new parents because I could barely sleep until my baby turned six months old.

2.    Strangling on a drapery cord.

This topic turns my stomach every time I think about it. Unless you have nerves of steel, you may not want to read this real-life story about strangulation by a window blind cord.

3.    Drowning in a toilet.

I don’t know when toilets become safe again, but I read some random article about how toilets are dangerous for toddlers. I freak out about keeping our toilets closed at all times, but I haven’t gone the extra mile to buy a toilet lock yet.

4.    Drowning in the bath.

I don’t leave my kids alone in the bath, but I’m super paranoid of turning my back for even a split second and causing their demise.

5.    Falling bookcases.

This story about death by tipping furniture makes me want to ugly cry. This is truly one of the worst scenarios I could ever imagine as a parent.

6.    Boiling oil.

I must have watched too much Rescue 911 as a kid, but I always worry about my toddler tipping over a pot from the stove onto his beautiful little head. It doesn’t help that my husband has taken up deep frying in the backyard as a hobby. Paranoia city.

7.    The great crib escape.

I hear stories of toddlers escaping from cribs and endangering themselves with random pointy things in the house all the time. It’s no wonder I wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night at the slightest sound.

8.    Falling off a balcony.

I just can’t get the picture of a tiny baby plummeting to its death off a hotel balcony out of my head. It’s no wonder I was a nervous wreck when we stayed on the third floor of a hotel last time we were at the beach.

9.    Getting dropped on the head.

Babies are known to roll around and fall””off couches, changing tables, high chairs. Whenever my baby gets a bump on his head, I worry for hours about whether or not he has a silent brain bleed that will kill him in his sleep.

10. Product recalls.

This one absolutely sucks because there is no controlling it. Just recently I saw a product recall on Facebook for a battery-powered lullaby toy that my son uses that apparently was RANDOMLY COMBUSTING. Yes, he slept with it every night. Yes, we threw it away ASAP.

(photo: Getty Images)