10 Reasons Why I Miss Getting My Period

missing period meme I was 27 when I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. The doctors told me all sorts of scary things– how hard it would be for me to get pregnant, how I would need to be on medication with lots of unfun side effects for the next few decades, how I could end up looking older than my age and how high my risk for osteoporosis was. The only silver lining I could find in my diagnosis was that I wouldn’t have to worry about Aunt Flo coming to visit each month. As it turns out, thus far coping with my condition hasn’t been as bad as I feared. In fact, the worst part having so many reasons why I miss getting my period.

1. I’m constantly wondering if I’m pregnant.

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Even though I know it’s nearly impossible for my to get pregnant with my condition, I am a worrier by nature. Without that monthly calling card to let me know for sure that my uterus is unoccupied, every time I get an upset stomach or strong craving for eggs and toast I can’t help but wonder if I’m miraculously pregnant.

2. There’s no excuse to pamper myself.

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I remember how much cramps sucked and how tired and cranky I’d feel when I had my period. But I also remember giving myself permission to indulge in a pint of the good ice cream or lay around in leggings all day. Sure, I can still do that even though I’m barren inside, but when I do I have to acknowledge that I’m doing it because I’m lazy, not because I don’t feel well.

3. No bloating.

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Back in the days when I surfed the crimson wave, if my pants were feeling a bit tight I could be kind to myself because it could just be that I was bloated. But now, if my jeans won’t button I know I have no one to blame but myself and all those late night bowls of ice cream.

4. I don’t know who the alpha female is.

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My bestie may have been president of our sorority back when we were in college, but she who sets the biological clocks of other females is truly the one in charge. I don’t mind playing Gretchen Wieners to someone else’s Regina George, but without a period I don’t know who the queen bee is.

5. Being on my period was a handy excuse to avoid sex.

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I know, I know, a woman never needs a reason to not have sex if she doesn’t want to. And my husband is fantastic about being sensitive to my needs, or lack thereof. But it was nice to have a reason to say no that couldn’t be construed as rejection, even if those feelings of guilt are all in my head.

6. I can’t help out a friend in need.

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We’re shopping at the mall and you need a pad? I can’t help you. You come over my house to go swimming and you forgot a tampon? Looks like we need to make a Target run.

7. No more cleavage boost.

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Yes, bloating isn’t fun when it comes to wearing any bottoms other than yoga pants. But my post-pregnancy sad sacks really miss the hormone boost that used to give me Jessica Rabbit’s silhouette once a month.

8. I have to apologize.

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I’m not proud of it, but I’d be lying if I said I’ve never used the “i’m sorry I was so mean before, I have my period,” line to smooth over a fight when I know full and well that I was wrong.

9. I feel less like a woman.

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Period talk is one of the ways women relate to each other. Even a stranger can say “I have cramps” and you can have an instant connection by saying you do, too. I feel like an outsider when I have nothing to add to a conversation about the pros and cons of using a menstrual cup because they came into popularity after my period ran away.

10. It’s a constant reminder that my baby making days are over.

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I’m extremely fortunate that I was able to have my children, but using science to get pregnant wasn’t my first choice. Every time I look in the cabinet where I used to keep my lady supplies I’m reminded that I’ll never have the experience of just peeing on a stick and announcing I’m pregnant. I’d trade that chance for the pain and mess of my period any day.

(image: /shutterstock.com)

 

 

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