New mom Whitney Port is struggling with breastfeeding, and she’s getting real about it in an honest video. The former reality star had her first child, a boy named Sonny, on July 27. Port has a video series called, “I love my baby, but…” where she discusses the harder aspects of pregnancy and motherhood, and in her latest installment she tearfully admitted that she “isn’t obsessed with breastfeeding.”

On her blog, Port writes, “Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that my baby is getting all the amazing nutrients from my milk and that I am literally giving him life, but it has been quite the challenge. A challenge I didn’t feel prepared for at all.”

whitney port breastfeeding

Image: YouTube / Whitney Port

Port says that while she knew breastfeeding was hard for some, she had every intention of giving it a go. At first, things went well. Sonny had a good latch, but after about 48 hours, breastfeeding became, “so incredibly painful.”

“When we came home I just hit a breaking point.

“I said, ‘I can’t do this. It feels as though someone is slicing my nipples with glass.’”

Port’s baby nurse suggested pumping and supplementing with formula to give her a bit of rest. She tried that, and also met with a lactation consultant, who said little Sonny was tongue tied. Port has his tongue tie corrected by his pediatrician.

At this point in her video Port starts to cry, and someone off-camera asks her why she wants to breastfeed. Port thinks about it, then admits that the reason she wants to breastfeed is because of the pressure she’s received.

“People want me to continue to try it. And I am. I tried again…once he had the procedure, and then again this morning, and it’s just really painful,” she says through tears. “I feel like a lot of people are going to tell me to just have patience and try to do it ’cause it’s only been a week (since the procedure).”

whitney port breastfeeding

Image: YouTube / Whitney Port

Then Port says something every mother who struggles with breastfeeding thinks.

“I just don’t know if it’s something that is going to get better or not. So that’s what I feel anxious about. Like, how much longer am I willing to try it before I just give up on it and just pump and give him the bottles and be okay with it?”

Luckily, it sounds like Port has a good support system around her. “A lot of new moms and my friends have told me not to put so much pressure on myself,” and reminded her that there’s nothing wrong with pumping or using formula.

“I’ve heard people talk about this pressure from other mothers and other people and I never thought I would let it get to me.”

Port also admits that because breastfeeding is so painful for her, she’s “almost demonized it” in her head, making just the thought of breastfeeding dreadful.

You can watch all of Whitney’s tearful video below.

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(Image: YouTube / Whitney Port)