This Wedding Horror Story Will Leave You Saying, ‘Oh No They Didn’t’

There are some basic etiquette rules that apply to everyone at a wedding: don’t wear white, show up on time, and whatever you do, DO NOT upstage the bride and groom. Unfortunately for one couple, the groom’s best friend decided not to follow the laws of friendship or common sense and managed to ruin his best friend’s wedding by proposing to his own girlfriend DURING THE CEREMONY. Who does that?? Now the bride wants to know if she and her husband are overreacting and franky, unless they literally murdered him I think the answer to that question is NOPE.

In a letter to Slate’s “Dear Prudence,” the bride set the scene. After a long relationship that included kids, pets, and homeownership, the bride and her boyfriend decided to finally make it official and tie the knot. “The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving.” Sounds like an awesome occasion! But wait…there’s more.

The groom’s best friend John was the best man AND the officiant of the wedding. Apparently, John was so moved by the atmosphere that he “stopped mid ceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, ”Jane,” and reveal her pregnancy.”

BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE.

The bride went on to write, “I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her. Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can’t hear anything over the chatter. When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests. John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor.”

I would have lost my mind. LOST IT. The bride said that her husband and John haven’t spoken since the wedding. GOOD. But apparently, the bride and groom have the shittiest friends on earth, because their “mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it.” GET OVER IT? Are you kidding me? HELL NO you should NOT get over it. I’m pissed and this didn’t even happen to me.

The writer of the Dear Prudence column, Mallory Ortberg, agrees that “getting over it” is not an option.

My advice would have been, “fuck him up with a baseball bat,” but I guess that’s why Mallory is the professional advice columnist and I’m not. But really, I don’t know how you can ever get over something like this. Besides the fact that they paid a boatload of money for what turned into a party for someone else, how could you ever trust or even respect someone who pulled a stunt like that?

I’m #TeamGroom on this one, how about you?

 (Image: iStock / ragıp ufuk vural)