The state of Virginia is one of only three in the USA where there’s no official legal protection for women breastfeeding in public. Virginia is for lovers, not for nursing moms, I guess?

But that may change soon, thanks to a new legislative proposal sponsored by Delegate Dave Albo, a Republican from Springfield. As he told local news station WTVR: “It just makes sense


Forty-seven other states have it, even Texas.” Oof – sorry, Texas, but when other states fall behind you on the progressive bandwagon, they have something to worry about.

While most of the Old Dominion State seems to be ready to get with the times, the comments on WTVR‘s Facebook page show that there are still a number of Virginians who aren’t ready to surrender the precious, precious freedom to berate a woman for breastfeeding in public. Let’s take a look at the ten best, by which of course I mean the ten worst.

1. At least it’s not a ‘bodily fluids‘ comparison?

virginia breastfeeding 18 Mark here thinks if women are allowed to breastfeed in public where they want, he can sexually harass these women where he wants, because as we all know, that is how laws work.

2. I spoke too soon about the bodily fluids thing.

virginia breastfeeding 17 “Whenches” like me are always going around spraying breast milk on Mark’s leg. Why can’t we all be more considerate of Mark?!

3. Hypocrisy is sadly NOT a lost art.

virginia breastfeeding 16Wendy is disappointed in the lack of manners she feels are on display by women who publicly breastfeed their children. I guess I missed that lesson in Finishing School, but at least we have Wendy here to serve as a well-mannered role-model.

Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 9.14.11 AM

Screen Shot 2015-01-21 at 9.14.07 AM Seriously, if you can’t trust Wendy on issues of proper manners, who can you trust?

4. The women in Lowell’s life are not very good at breastfeeding.

virginia breastfeeding 15

Maybe I’ve been breastfeeding wrong all this time, but I have never plopped my breast out on the table. Do you have to sort of prop the baby up between the napkin holder and the salt-and-pepper shakers to do this?

Also, I agree completely with Lowell that we don’t want to make people uncomfortable, which is why I suggest he should cover himself with a towel while eating in a restaurant to avoid seeing any boobs he doesn’t want to see.

5. Why not both? Both is good.virginia breastfeeding 11

Yes, if I had to pick a single sign of our nation’s impending doom, it would definitely be the possibility of Virginia mothers being able to breastfeed their children in public.

6. Your baby should never eat in front of people who are eating.virginia breastfeeding 13

Be respectful of people who are eating, by not letting your baby eat. There is a time and a place for everything, and the time and place for breastfeeding is apparently “thirty uncomfortable minutes on the yellow-stained toilet in a crusty bathroom stall”.

7. Any argument that ends with “HELLO WAKE UP WOMEN” is a definite winner.

virginia breastfeeding 10

I’m not clear on what adult women have to fear from pedophiles, exactly, or how a nursing baby is in more danger from a creep than a baby in a carseat. Maybe we should take nursing covers a step further and just make sure our babies are always covered in a thick tarp every time we leave the house? Sounds safe.

8. SMH for women who don’t have the time, money, and/or ability to pump.

virginia breastfeeding 3Mothers breastfeeding their babies? SO SELFISH.

9. It’s okay, breastfeeding moms, Steve doesn’t have a problem with it.

virginia breastfeeding 7

The rights of businesses should always trump the rights of actual human women. How can we stand idly by while people get more protection under the law than corporate entities?!

10. But what about the men?!

virginia breastfeeding 6It’s sad that women care more about feeding their children than they care about Luke the public. Why are you so heartless, breastfeeding women?

Bonus: Our side sucks, too.

virginia breastfeeding 19 racistYou should be able to breastfeed whenever you want, including during Fran’s horrific out-of-left-field racist, xenophobic tirade.

(Image: file404/Shutterstock)