Sex tips from the Victorian era might not seem like something that would mesh well with our sexually liberated world, but don’t be quick to dismiss. While we often think of the Victorians as rather stuffy and conservative, they weren’t…totally. Sure, the outfits were a bit much, and women still couldn’t vote or own property. But there was a rise in feminism at the time, which brought on a sexual revolution. Not exactly like the one we had here in the 1960s, but significant nonetheless. That’s why these modern sex therapists believe you should pay mind to Victorian sex tips.
The therapists in question are Louise Mazanti and Mike Lousada, a therapist couple who write a book called Real Sex. According to the Daily Mail, in the text, they refer to a Victorian sexual practice known as “karezza.” Karezza (“a Victorian exercise in erotic mindfulness”) was developed by Victorian-era feminist doctor Alice Bunker Stockham (did you know there were feminist doctors back then? Hard enough to find any today!)
Sex tips from the Victorian age to try in the bedroom
Dr. Stockham wrote her own book back in 1896, titled Karezza: The Ethics of Marriage, in which she proposes that couples stop “chasing the orgasm,” so to speak. This wise (and probably rather patient) doc said that folks should be practicing karezza instead, which is basically focusing on pleasurable touching of the genitals. Rather, the genitals should be in contact with each other for about a half hour at least, but without actually doing anything. No penetration. No masturbation. And you should be making eye contact and generally trying to relax into the experience until you begin to feel some sort of “sexual energy.”
“The point of the exercise is to move away from friction-based sex and to create an awareness of more subtle but equally pleasurable sensations. This creates a full-body orgasm that can last as long as we chose for it to, instead of the rather brief type of genital orgasm that we refer to as a ‘pelvic sneeze,'” Lousada and Mazanti told Metro UK.
It makes sense that Stockham would come up with a technique that would allow women a slower start to sexual activity, and one that does not involve penetration. After all, more women tend to have more clitoral orgasms than vaginal ones. And chances are the percentage of women having orgasms with their partners back then was even smaller, since women’s pleasure was even less at the forefront.
I’m not sure about y’all, but at the very least, it does sound like an interesting technique. Would you try it? Let us know in the comments.
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