8 Vagina Crafts That Will Make You Close Your Legs Forever

Have you ever wondered if the internet sold merchandise in the shape of a vagina? Well, I am here to tell you that the answer is YES. So much yes. A downright disturbing amount of YES. And I may be permanantly damaged emotionally from some of the ungodly things I found in my hunt to find these treasures but I do it all for you. You are welcome. Without further ado, I present eight vagina items you can purchase on the internet.

1. The Pussy Purse

Quite possibly the most secure purse you will ever own. Because no one else will ever want to touch it! The crinoline pubes are such a special touch, don’t you think?

2. Vulva Cupcakes

For those special occasions where nothing but the most terrifying baked goods will do, behold: vulva cupcakes. Complete with chocolate sprinkle bush!

3. Vagina Necklace

Sure, you could wear your heart on your sleeve but where’s your sense of adventure? Wear your vagina around your neck instead! Bonus: it comes in a variety of skin shades.

4. Vag-shaped soap

If you’ve ever spent a shower pondering why your Dial soap was not in the image of a vulva have I got news for you! And it’s purple and sparkly to boot!

5. Crochet vagina

This is not your granny’s crochet. I’m not even sure what you do with it other than be secure in the knowledge that you are probably the only person in your social circle to own a hand-knit vag. So exclusive!

6. Vagina chocolate pops

 

Yet another product that considers the many colors of vagina. So every woman can have a confectionary representation of her lady garden. On a stick!

7. Vadge Badge

In case it was not apparent to everyone around you that you are a vagina-possessing bonafide WOMAN, there is now the Vadge Badge! Wear it with pride-you’ve earned it, ladies!

8. Vagina mask

I’ve saved the most disturbing for last. Finally, a very blatant way for a man to show his admiration for the vagina.