Topic: moms who drink

This Mother Of Two Drinks Blood And Calls Herself A Vampire Because Yolo? Or Forever?

I may be the most boring mom in the world, because I’ve got nothing freaky going on – unless you count the fact I am currently sportin’ a kelly green pedicure for summer as “freaky.” That’s about as outrageous as I get. Totally unlike this mama from Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania, who drinks half-a-gallon of live human blood a month and calls herself a vampire. More »

New Study Discovers You Pregnant Women Are Terrible Moms For Not Drinking Wine While Pregnant

And by drink wine, I don’t mean you can chug down an entire bottle but you can have a small glass which is what I am always telling you all. Because I am such a know-it-all and I love telling you pregnant women what to do I love it when science backs me up and I can gloat about how utterly brilliant I am and how all of the advice I give you all is totally excellent. More »

A Grade School Teacher Threw This Raging Banger For High School Kids Including Lots Of Vomit

Ugh! I hate teenagers! Why would anyone want to “party” with them? This just sounds like one of those cases where the mom wanted to be the “cool” mom and party with the youngsters and blech. I cannot think of anything I would want to do less than deal with a mess of drunk, noisy, pukey teenagers drinking all of my booze and vomiting in my closet. This is why I’m so not the “cool” mom. More »

There’s Milk And Cookies In The Champagne Room! Mom Hires Strippers For Son’s Sweet Sixteen

Oh man, 13-year-old guests? That’s awful. Those kids would have been just as happy with a bouncy inflatable castle as they were with silicone-inflated bouncy…castles. And with 80 party guests in attendance, you would think one of the adults there would have spoken up between the third play of Ginuwine‘s Pony and suggested the kids break a piñata or something. More »

Egg Nog? Egg No! Why I No Longer Get Wasted On Christmas Eve

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except for me, who was puking my brains up at two a.m. because I “accidentally” got trashed the night before. More »

I’m A Terrible Person Because I Want All The Toys Just Released On The ‘Worst Toys’ List

Commercial Free Childhood announces worst toys for 2012 and I’m a terrible mom because I sort of want to buy all of them. More »

Study Finds Cool Moms Are Buying Alcohol For Kids

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m totally stoked for the day when my kid tells me if I don’t buy him booze he won’t “fit in” so I can laugh in his face forever. More »

Helpful Hints For Making Mommy Friends And Why I Would Suck At All Of Them

Maybe I don’t have more friends because of my bad attitude and my raging sarcasm problem. More »

You Guys Are All Holiday Decorating Without Me!

I love holiday decorating and the holiday season but I’ve got a fuckton of mommy guilt over not doing anything thus far. More »

What We're Reading:

Once Upon A Time I Left The Bag Of Turkey Guts In The Bird And Other Thanksgiving Mistakes

Sure, at the time when I was sobbing into my apron and sucking down cranberry vodkas at an alarming rate it didn’t seem like so much fun, but in retrospect I can always remember eventually laughing over whatever culinary disaster had wormed its way into my Thanksgiving. More »

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