The last few years, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: Curmudgeons are trying to take away our holidays. You may not have taken notice, though, as this group sets about their task in an insidious manner… More
Topic: mom fun
I always just assumed I’d have a daughter. Instead, fate gave me two sons, and I won’t be having another child just to try for a girl. Being mom to boys is awesome, but once I saw those teeny weeny cash and prizes appear on the ultrasound, I admit I was nervous about what my future would be like surrounded by three men, four if you count the cat. More
Some of you may have picked up on the fact that I love to lampoon stupidly expensive stuff that is totally unrealistic for families with children. In the past, I have skewered American Girl dolls, ridiculous nurseries meant for grown-ups and the Pottery Barn Kids catalog. I realize that these companies are not trying to make product set-ups that regular people can relate to and that they are selling a fantasy rather than reflecting the reality of the typical family but I still find it laughable that they even try to shill a bright white couch for a child’s playroom. Or that they think a 7-year old girl should have a $300 “parlor” for her $125 doll. It is all pretty silly and making fun of it is a great hobby. More
It all started innocently enough. In fact, I didn’t even want to have a 1st birthday party. I had sat through all of my niece’s and younger sibling’s parties and while they were entertaining for the child, the parents mostly looked either frazzled or bored. In one party, my niece cried because she was afraid of the piñata. In another party, my sister’s mother in law ended up in a fight because of the way my sister treated her granddaughter, my sister’s stepdaughter. Family parties have always been stressful for me. My parents are divorced, so it seems as though someone is always feeling left out, pissed off or just doesn’t show up at all. More
After 30 years of searching, I’ve finally found the secret to losing weight without trying. It’s not some crazy liquid fast or some overpriced shake plan purchased from the playgroup leader in an effort to make a new mom friend. And no, it’s not breastfeeding. Turns out, the secret to losing the baby weight is simply being a mom with young kids. More
Does your baby like toys? Does your baby like you? Do you like not having sex and shredding the last, fragile, fibers of whatever dignity remains after pooping a baby out?
Well, I’ll start taking your thank you notes now, broads, because have I found the Kickstarter for you! More
Hello, everyone. I am that douchebag. You probably know me as the woman who parks her car in the “reserved for families” spot up near the front of the grocery store even though my child is at school and the rest of my family doesn’t even live in the same state as me.
And I am not sorry. More
Mom guilt. It is so insidious and can creep up on you when you least expect it. Whether it’s an innocent question from your little one that stirs up feelings of yuck (“Momma, why you so grumpy at me?”) or thoughts of inadequacy spurred on by the extreme mothering of the Pinterest- perfect crowd (ugh, quit it with the crafting already) I can guarantee there were moments in the last week where you had twinges of mom guilt. More
When some people think of ficitional moms, their minds go straight to the Carol Bradys and June Cleavers of the world. Not I. I love the fictional moms who have no fucks to give, because we are all those moms. More
You’ve had a hard day. Why not relax and flex your mommy math skills? Here’s a pencil…and some wine. More
Searching for working mothers in a stock photography database will blow your mind. It’s as if no stock photographer has any idea that a working mother can’t actually bring her baby to the office with her. It’s hilarious. I guess a plain old photo of a woman in an office would never suffice — how ever would we realize that she has used her womb to make babies? More
I hope you have a strong stomach because these stories from Chuck E. Cheese employees will make you never want to return. More