Why do I breastfeed? For men. Duh.
Sure, my infant child gets nutrition out of the deal and stays alive, and that is a bonus – but the real reason I breastfeed is because I am an exhibitionist. Also, I know there’s a man out there whose internet connection in his mom’s basement is spotty at best, and he need to see boobs, too. I’m doing it for him, obviously.
Do you ever tire of the constant stream of liberal propaganda that is childhood? Everywhere you turn it’s “share your toys” and “don’t bite your friends” and “take turns”. I’m not saying that Sesame Street is Communist, but if you think that the fact that Elmo is red is a coincidence, you are naive and brainwashed. More
When you leave high school, you assume that you have left the petty bullshit behind- the cliques, the gossip, the jockeying for social position. You move on to your adult life thinking that from now on, everyone will be mature and kind to each other. College might have been a little cliquey but you found your way. It may have been tough to fit in at your first job after you graduated but that probably worked out just fine too. The next taste of high school-style behavior you will likely encounter is when your first child starts school. More
If you search for “fire challenge” on YouTube, you’re going to find a slew of videos of kids (and some adults) trying to get naturally selected by dousing various parts of their bodies in some kind of quick-evaporating accelerant, like rubbing alcohol or hairspray and than lighting themselves on fire. More
My biggest pet peeve when it comes to other people’s kids is when they can’t meet the baseline for human decency by saying, “excuse me”, “please”, “thank you”, and “you’re welcome”. More
As a Christian in my early 20s, I was desperate to find a husband. Iâm almost embarrassed to admit that, but itâs the truth. At the age of 20, when most young adults are looking forward to hitting up bars as they turn 21, I was hoping that someone, anyone with slightly-godly street cred would tie me down. More
Our country loves guns, and it loves respecting the “privacy” of gun owners. So much so, that the United States Court of Appeals for the 11th Circuit just upheld a 2011 Florida law that makes it illegal for doctors to ask patients if they own a gun. Apparently, asking someone if they own a gun is more invasive than asking them if they have herpes, suicidal tendencies, or genetic diseases. More
A popular tourist attraction on Old Fisherman’s Wharf in Monterey, California has offended some parents by posting signs prohibiting crying babies, or children making any loud sounds at all. I think they are on to something – but why stop at babies? Why not make a laundry list of all the annoying things the rest of humanity does, too?
Normally, I donât like to start a run-of-the-mill parenting tale with an over-hyped warning label like âit could happen to you,â but that is precisely why this news story is so disturbing. A Florida mother is now facing felony child neglect after giving her seven-year-old son permission to walk to a local park alone. All in all, the walk took roughly 15 minutes, and I fail to understand where this mother did anything wrong. More
Also, this is a hard truth but you might have the challenging kid. You might have the one kid that throws puzzle pieces at some other kid’s face four times a day, every day. Your kids’ teacher might have to deal with the equally pissed parent who is annoyed that their child has a puzzle piece shaped bruise on their head at the end of every day. More
With only two years of grade school parenting under my belt, I am quite far from being an expert. One thing I have swiftly learned is that there is much to detest with the start of a new school year. I am a full-time outside-of-the-home working mom so most of our daily routine is unchanged as I still have to be out the door early in the morning and I still have tiny people to drop off at summer camp or daycare. However, summer life with grade school children is infinitely easier for me than school year life. More
Anti-vaxxers, not content with the devastating results of bringing back diseases that have long been eradicated and are preventable by routine vaccinations, have set their sights on a new target – vitamins. It seems that the same parents who are refusing to vaccinate their children against disease, are also turning down a shot of vitamin K, routinely given to infants since the 1960′s. More
I had a very clear image of the new mother I would be – and she would be wearing her baby, damn it. More
Iâm currently on my so-called âBaby Moon.â While this term can mean a trip you take BEFORE baby comes (dammit, I really shouldâve squeezed in that one), it can also describe the period of time after baby is born in which you swoon over your brand new infant child all day, every day until you have to (at some point, ugh) start assimilating back into the real world. It could take weeks or months until you feel ready and Iâm sure it varies from one postpartum mama to the next. But personally, I decided to take my second postpartum stint as slow as humanly possible, soak in the âbabymooningâ and just be easy with myself. More