Topic: Childrearing

Stop It Already With The Pinterest-Perfect First Birthday Smash Cakes

Stop It Already With The Pinterest-Perfect First Birthday Smash Cakes

For my first child’s first birthday, I made a shitty little box cake at home for her to “smash” and left the big cake to the professionals at Wegman’s bakery. By my second child’s first birthday, I felt that even that was unnecessary and just gave him a slice of the regular cake that I had ordered for the party. Just as adorbs and not at all expensive or a pain in the ass. I had decided it was super stupid to spend major coin (or a ton of my own time) on a cake solely for the purpose of tiny toddler fingers to mush it all up- that is a waste of perfectly good cake and makes my heart sad! Come on, ya’ll- the babies don’t deserve it! More »

The 10 Stages Of A Toddler Meltdown

The 10 Stages Of A Toddler Meltdown

As a mom of an almost four-year-old, I am proud to announce that I can read my toddler like a book. I know when his meltdowns are coming, and exactly what they are going to look like. I am not so proud to announce I have no idea how to stop them. The good thing is, if you can accurately measure where you are on the meltdown scale, you know how much time you have left to endure. It’s like being able to see the tip of the mountain; you can begin telling yourself you’ll get to the top eventually.
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I’m Taking My Toddler To A Restaurant Even If He Gets On Your Nerves

Iâm Taking My Toddler To A Restaurant Even If He Gets On Your Nerves

One of the unexpected highlights of being a parent is how much you lower your expectations. Hear me out. It used to be that I could go out and get crazy any time I damn well pleased. If I wanted to sit down and eat in a fast food restaurant with a fork and a knife, it was my prerogative. If I wanted to plan a decadent dinner out with a date or girlfriends, then I had more than a few hours to kill. More »

10 Reasons Tacos Are Better Than Sisters-In-Law

10 Reasons Tacos Are Better Than Sisters-In-Law

It’s true that I will never run out of things to compare tacos favorably to; after all, there is little on the planet that is as delicious as a taco (except maybe samosas) but after last week’s rundown on how tacos are infinitely better and usually more crispy than mothers-in-law, I decided the natural thing to do was teach you all about the ways that tacos are better than sisters-in-law, too. More »

Another Breastfeeding Mother Shamed As Principal Writes A Letter Asking Her To ‘Use Discretion’

Another Breastfeeding Mother Shamed As Principal Writes A Letter Asking Her To 'Use Discretion'

Breastfeeding is legal, there is no disputing that fact. But as long as the milk has to flow freely from the nipple – which is, of course, forever – there will be someone who has a problem with it. People do not like nipples – they especially do not like their own children exposed to nipples. That’s basically what one principal said to a breastfeeding mother taking advantage of the school’s summer lunch program. More »

Two Children Tragically Killed By Pit Bulls This Weekend – Cue Blaming The Media For Their Bad Rap

Two Children Tragically Killed By Pit Bulls This Weekend - Cue Blaming The Media For Their Bad Rap

In Ohio, a seven-month-old boy was mauled to death by a pit bull Sunday afternoon while in the care of his grandmother. In Florida, a four-year-old boy was killed by two pit bulls Saturday evening, when he wandered into the backyard where they were crated. Pit bull owners and lovers will still insist that the dogs are not innately dangerous. They will insist that these deaths are purely the responsibility of the owners of the dogs and the parents of the children. My question to these people is – how do we remedy this situation? How do we stop this from happening time and time again? More »

Publicly Shaming Moms For Potty Training Accidents Isn’t Helping Anything

Publicly Shaming Moms For Potty Training Accidents Isn't Helping Anything

A Missouri mother is embarrassed and angry after a checker at a Dollar General store shamed her for what she considered to be an inappropriately dressed child. The two year-old was in underwear and a t-shirt at the time – her had mom changed her out of her wet clothes in the bathroom after a potty training accident. I don’t see the point of shaming a mother who is doing her best in a difficult situation. Mind your own business. More »

Summer Camp Is Like Parenting

 Summer Camp Is Like Parenting

It all got me thinking of how badass summer camp is for a kid. I learned a heckuva lot of life lessons, and some sticky enough you even know it in your six to 11 year old mind, like, “Hey! I think this is one of those life lessons!” They’re the kind of A-has! that keep you cozy through middle school mayhem, college shenanigans and those wayward twenties. More »

Nothing Fills Me With More Mom Angst And Loathing Than $78 Bunny Nightlights

Nothing Fills Me With More Mom Angst And Loathing Than $78 Bunny Nightlights

There is a certain type of feeling you get when confronted with items that you want for your children, adorable, beautiful, precious, perfect items that you somehow think would make your life better, or their life better, or that tie into this whole sort of mystical ideal we have of childhood, especially when your own childhood didn’t have these elements of whimsy or beauty. More »