Toddler pouches are a brilliant development. Small children across the world slurp smoothies of fruits and vegetables in convenient little pouches that they can hold themselves in their tiny, uncoordinated toddler hands without spilling a ton. That means we can push strollers and drive cars and drink coffee while they eat, and everyone is happy. Now someone has come up with an only slightly less awesome idea than toddler pouches, because they took toddler pouches and filled them with high-end single malt Scotch. Toddler pouches are way more convenient than flasks.
Toddler pouches have been repurposed by a UK-based whisky-of-the-month club called Whisky Me. For about $9 a month it sends a little pouch full of a 1.7-oz single serving of single malt Scotch whisky. That’s not very expensive for a glass of Scotch every month, and the packaging is pretty cool and very convenient. The weirdest thing is that nobody seems to be talking about how these are totally toddler pouches, just full of whisky.
Everyone knows these are toddler pouches, right?
“Each month, a new whisky will arrive in the mail in a little pouch, sort of like those Capri Sun pouches you used to drink as a kid,” Mashable wrote.
But you know and I know that those are toddler pouches. Kids’ food aisles are practically wallpapered in different varieties of fruit and vegetable smoothies, pureed and poured into these tiny, easy-to-slurp pouches.
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Whiskey Me describes the pouch as “like a 21st century sporran”–a sporran being the pouch worn with a kilt.
Just because the whiskey is in a toddler pouch doesn’t mean we shouldn’t all drink it, though. Toddler pouches are extremely useful. That’s why there are 10 of them in my purse right now. They’re small, flexible, can fit through a mail slot, and are more environmentally friendly than similarly sized glass bottles. Whisky Me is even offering a re-use service where customers can send back their pouches for the company to clean and re-use for other whiskys.
Pour it into a glass, or just drink right from the pouch.
If one were feeling fancy, one could pour the whisky into a nice glass. Or you could drink it straight from the pouch. Actual toddler pouches tell us to pour the contents out into a cup and make our kids eat them with spoons, not suck them straight from the pouch. But probably most kids are just drinking straight from the pouch, right?
Whisky Me is currently only selling in the U.K. But people seem to love the idea so much that it will almost certainly be in the US shortly. Then we can have pouches of our own.
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(Image: Facebook / Whisky Me)