20 Thanksgiving Fails That Will Have You Considering Take-Out on the Big Day

I have the utmost respect for anyone who cooks a full Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve never hosted (although I do contribute sides and booze), because I value my sanity. Plus, I also really dislike lots of people in my space. Love to cook, but the idea of managing a meal of that size … nah. Even for the best cooks, it can be difficult! It’s not the food, necessarily, but the sheer amount of it. Plus, the timing is nuts. Literally everything needs to be baked, but that stupid turkey takes up the oven for hours. So it’s no surprise that there are always, ALWAYS, Thanksgiving fails. And because this is the internet, people are kind enough to share them with all of us.

Some of these Thanksgiving fails probably can’t be avoided. But maybe the 20 we’ve picked out will give you some pointers on what to avoid next week. Godspeed.

https://giphy.com/gifs/turkey-5K0usobzbHOHm

Image: Giphy

1. When your whipped cream doesn’t quite … whip.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNNTwPFD3cB/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

Cinnamon butter sounds delicious, honestly. So maybe this one failed up?

2. Wouldn’t be a holiday without a trip to the ER!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNNLsVhBFUP/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

I’ve sliced my fingers on a mandolin no fewer than 4 times. Those things are not to be messed with.

3. Someone will drop something. Without fail.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNHxWXCg7kn/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

It’s even worse when you’re transporting the food to another location for dinner. You can’t just remake it really quick in your own kitchen.

4. Ovens aren’t one-size-fits-all!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNM8BiQhM-s/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

We’re sure it’ll cook fine at a 45 degree angle.

5. A checklist of what should be on the table is helpful.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BaH1HHgB8BT/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

This must happen ALL THE TIME. There’s just so much food! How the hell are you supposed to remember it all?

6. Crimes against Tofurkey spike around Thanksgiving.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BaBChh9j58A/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

Not to knock anyone who enjoys Tofurkey, but lord that thing is hideous. But glass is vegan, right? Still good!

7. Remember: a checklist!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNSlKYeAJVZ/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

At least they found the lost casserole the same night. That would’ve started to really stink.

8. Those are some thick-ass potatoes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNQiTUSFXYO/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

When your fail happens because of the brute strength of your mash, you should be proud.

9. The burn pattern on this casserole is intriguing.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNPYROWjba8/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

Always a good idea to know your oven hot spots!

10. Unidentifiable food=definite fail.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNPOUNQAqHU/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

I stared at this picture for a solid 2 minutes trying to figure out how it was a sweet potato casserole. Because it looks like escargot.

11. There’s well-done, and then there’s this.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNN-jR1BHIw/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

think that’s a turkey. It has a vague turkey-esque shape. Gonna need the arson investigators on this one.

12. 911 on speed dial, is all we’re saying.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNN1piSAGmR/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

Turkey a flambe is all the rage! Crispy skin and whatnot.

13. interest has absolutely ruined holidays.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNN02RahbxQ/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

I mean, I’d still eat it. All that matters is how it tastes! And that it isn’t on fire.

14. Warning: marshmallows are VERY quick to burn.

Again, stared at this for a bit before I could identify it. They look like burned new potatoes. 

15. He just wanted a quick taste!

Toddlers taste with both hands. Full hands. Just right in the pie.

16. Why are they in a plastic bag?

I can’t quite figure out the execution here. Blending potatoes in a bag? Seems destined to fail.

17. Now I need to try a Mexican lasagna. You know, without the glass.

https://twitter.com/drockfire/status/916749820014063616

All glass baking dishes should really be colored, so you can pick out the shards and save the food.

18. I know a lot of kids (and a few adults) who would still eat that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNNzKVXhfBS/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

Floor pie isn’t automatically trash.

19. Taking dry meat to the next level.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNNtybxhNnq/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

That bird isn’t just dry. It’s dust. If you poked it with a fork, it would poof away like a ghost.

20. Gotta get that IG pic! Thanksgiving fails be damned!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNNkFh1AGmU/?tagged=thanksgivingfail

When the food is looking too good, you need to document it. Just make sure your hands aren’t slippery with butter and turkey grease.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Remember, it’s not how many Thanksgiving fails you have, but how much booze you have on-hand that matters. May your feasts be without fail. Don’t forget your Thanksgiving pants!

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(Image: Pixabay)

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