The first thing I would like to get out of the way here is that I don’t think a teacher who doesn’t know nonalcoholic beer actually contains a small amount of alcohol should be allowed to be a teacher. I have zero interest in non-alcoholic beer and even I know that it contains alcohol. I don’t know why I know this fact, I just do. I assume most people know this. It’s not enough alcohol to get you crunk, it only contains 0.5 percent alcohol, but I think it’s sort of a thing everyone knows. Non-alcoholic booze actually have a teensy tiny amount of booze in it. And probably shouldn’t be served to fifth graders.
The teacher from Linden, Michigan allowed her elementary school students to sip O’Douls when they were learning about colonial times, as an example of things people drank back then when water may have not been safe to consume. One of the students brought the beverage in when they were studying life in the 1700’s. None of the students were forced to drink it, and no parents complained to the principal or teacher.
“I know the teacher and know her as being a very responsible person,” said Scott Maker, president of the Linden School Board. “I know there was no intent to expose anyone to harm, just poor thought in this situation.”
Linden Police Chief Scott Sutter said there have been no complaints to his department.
Linden schools are drug and alcohol-free zones and Koledo said he did not know if O’Doul’s beer would constitute a violation.
I think this is all just no harm, no foul. It’s sort of nice to see parents not freaking out over this situation and demanding the teacher’s head on a platter because their special snowflakes were exposed to non-boozy, non-delicious beverages. But I am surprised she didn’t know that it contains a mouse-sized amount of alcohol. Even people firmly against non-boozy-booze drinks like me know that.
If the teacher wanted to be more historically accurate, she should have just served the kids cider or else watered down real-booze, which I learned was served to kids during colonial times. I feel so smart now.