Today, millions of people will head to bars or parties to celebrate with friends and ring in the new year. They’ll drink champagne and make lots of toasts and completely forget the words to Auld Lang Syne. For years, I was one of those people, bickering with my husband over who would be the designated driver and attending my sister-in-law’s annual party. Now, I’m the lady sitting at home alone, mourning, on the anniversary of my miscarriage. More
This week, I sat in my doctor’s office to get the results of some recent tests. I went into the office expecting to hear about the next expensive procedure we needed to do. I was prepared for her to tell me that I needed to go to the fertility specialist, instead of trying to trick my insurance by treating my infertility issues through my ob-gyn. I was expecting the same thing I’ve always found while struggling with infertility, a little bad news and a plan of attack.
Instead, my doctor grabbed my hand and slowly began to shake her head. More
She’s the lady who held my hand as she told me the news about my ectopic pregnancy. She’s the one who had an arm around my shoulder when I cried over the loss of my Fallopian tube. And she’s the one who had a tissue ready when she looked me in the eyes last week and promised that I would carry a baby to term. She was going to see to it. More
You have a choice. You can let conversations about your infertility ruin your holiday. Or you can get through them and enjoy the love and support of the family around you. More
I know this is going to shock everyone. Brace yourselves. It’s a pretty huge story. I just want to make sure everyone knows… IVF is really expensive. More
There’s a new thing to blame for your infertility! More
Welcome to the Unbearable Story Hour. This week, I’m going to tell a little story of something that happened to me last Friday. I’m going to present it with almost zero comment, because I have zero idea of how to put my feelings about this into words. More
There is something about seeing other people’s bad parenting when you want a baby so badly that just sets a fire in an infertile couple. It feels like the universe is just slapping you in the face. More
I’m sorry to tell everyone, I’m still not giving you a pass to tell any infertile couple that they just need to stop trying. It’s still an intensely idiotic and thoughtless thing to tell people who have every right to try to get pregnant. More
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Just like our amazing contributor Maria Guido, all of us at Mommyish really believe that it’s important to discuss miscarriages. We think it helps us to open up, share our stories, and support one another through difficult times. In fact, just last week some of my co-workers and I were discussing our different experiences and how we handled them. One woman’s response actually had me laughing to myself all week long. More
Throughout the process of writing about my struggles with fertility, I’ve received plenty of comments that made me upset, made me sad, and made me defensive. I’ve been told that using a fertility clinic to try to get pregnant was unnatural, and also selfish. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t classify my ectopic pregnancy as “losing a child,” because it’s not fair to parents who lost children that were already born. I’ve heard that I whine a whole lot. But nothing has made me quite so angry as being told that I “might need some therapy.” Let me explain why this comment has me so heated. More
A new rash of emails from pregnancy websites left me angry and combative. Here’s how I informed Pregnancy.org that they needed to stop emailing me, and how they responded to my complaint. More
There comes a point in an infertile couple’s journey where absolutely every aspect of their lives seems to be superseded by their struggles to get pregnant. After you’ve told everyone that you’re trying, after a couple tragic endings, you’re suddenly known as “the people trying to have a baby.” From that point on, any time you try to share information with people, they’re going to assume that you’re talking about your uterus first. More