Before I had kids, I was definitely one of the guilty ones. I would always give a flailing parent a quick glare or eye roll if their infant, toddler, or young child dared to scream at an unnaturally high decibel in public. More
The other day Sarah Fader wrote a post on Huffington Post Parents entitledÂ 3-Year-Olds Are A**holes. I agree with her, and so have a lot of other articles on Mommyish, but even though toddlers might be their own special brand of asshole, they cannot compare to the utter assholy-ish-ness of teenagers. Three-year-olds may be assholes, but teenagers are stone cold motherfuckers. And I should know, because I have one. More
I don’t think my kids are brats, but I’m sure every mother feels this way. My kids, growing up, weren’t really prone to tantrums or big grocery store scenes or freaking out when I told them no. They have always been sort of laid back about things. But boy oh boy throughout my life have I encountered some kids who could be described as being bratty (or worse, but because I’m a nice person I won’t describe them as being raging little fuckers, but you can be assured I am thinking that.) I’m not talking about kids who are just overtired or cranky or hungry, I’m talking about awful monster children. More
A video of a 3-year-old throwing a tantrum because her mom got her the wrong concert ticket is going viral. If you have a problem with a grown adult calling a child an asshole – I suggest you stop reading this post right now. More
Toddlers don’t have “off” buttons, okay? Yes, it would make things easier for everyone – but that’s not the way it works. People need to stop making parents feel like outcasts for daring to be in public with their children. More
The other half of the parents who just don’t give an eff anymore scenario as they drag their wailing toddlers away from grassy parks is the toddler reasoning. If you listen between those crying, garbled mumbles, you’ll usually hear a word or two about why this massive tantrum is happening on the sidewalk in the middle of a hot day. The line of thought often times doesn’t make sense, but some toddler translation does reveal how these temper tantrums could have been avoided in the first place. More
They say the terrible twos actually start around 18 months and don’t end until…when do they end? Ever? But sometimes I feel like my PPD leaves me really ill-equipped to manage these tantrums. It’s not so much that I “lose it” or fear I might hurt her. In fact, it’s more of the opposite. I don’t know if I’ve become desensitized to her cry because I’ve heard it so damn much, but my instinct is to do nothing. More
Think about it, your parent has dragged you to a gigantic place that is usually crowded and most of the time, it is at a time when there are a million things you would rather be doing. There are cartoons to be watched. There are toys to be played with. There are birds! They are outside! There is possibly a bird in your yard! This bird could possibly be doing something amazing like pooping on your parent’s car and you are missing all of it! Plus, your parent has been a total dick while at the store. They have spent way too much time fondling organic grapefruits and checking their cell phone messages and every damn time you want something fantastic like a package of cookies or a brightly colored box of something with a manic looking cartoon rabbit on it your parent has said “no.” More
I can’t give you any advice for talking your daughter out of wearing it because I just don’t feel like it’s that big of an issue. It’s not like a little bit of blush and mascara is suddenly going to make her become knocked up at age 15 or something. As long as she isn’t emulating Courtney Stodden and asking for an increase on her allowance to take on-line “acting” classes, I think she’ll be fine. More
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Great idea. Why not label our kids as having a mental disorder for being – kids? More
The parking lot or grocery store embarrassment may leave parents mortified, but a team of researchers is leaning in for clues surrounding this time-honored parenting joy. More
There are plenty of ways to deal with a temper tantrum. Ignore them. Console them. Out-scream them. But all these outbursts all seem to fit into six categories More
Every night, we had a routine. My daughter would take a bath and play in the bubbles for about 30 minutes. She would hop out and don a monster bath towel, running around the house and growling at everyone. We would comb her hair, brush her teeth and then sit down to read roughly three books. Sounds pretty standard, right?
Two kisses goodnight, night light on, make sure the closet is closed. Then my daughter would get out of bed for the first time, normally to use the rest room again. About fifteen minutes later she would need another drink. Next would come the requests for a different stuffed animal, followed by fear of bad guys under the bed. And on and on and on. You get the picture.
This was our nightly routine. More
Despite having twin toddlers, I wasnât very worried about the âterrible twos,â mainly because I didnât think anything could be worse than infancy. My toddlers were sweet and well behaved, and I was naive enough to think they wouldnât change. When fellow moms shared stories about their 2-year-old hell-spawns, Iâd nod sympathetically while thinking, âNot gonna happen to me!â And of course, when you indulge in that kind of thinking, karma pays you back tenfold.
The terrible twos came in with a bang â my daughter Allie banging her mouth on our coffee table and knocking two teeth up into her gums. More