I also enjoy submissions written by dads because men seemingly “discover” things about parenthood that they never expected more often than moms do. I get the impression that mothers anticipate the diaper rashes, constipation, placenta cookbooks as baby shower gifts, and even the occasional baby boner. Since men don’t appear to share the same level of anticipation, their updates tend to read as pure comedy. More
Topic: STFU Parents
So many people insist on jumping into the comments of their friends’ status updates to remark on parenting and kids — even if the original update has absolutely nothing to do with either of those subjects. These examples are hilarious not only because they usually make no sense, but because they show how little some people use social media to engage with their friends in a meaningful way. More
The difference between me and the women featured in today’s column is that I would never share details about my body in a public forum that includes my Uncle Chet, my mom’s best friend, and my first boyfriend from elementary school. As magical as women’s bodies are, and as important as I think it is for women to feel comfortable discussing their bodies with friends, family, and doctors, I like to keep my magic a mystery. No need to spread the word on the internet that my magic is occasionally painful, messy, or (god forbid) requires surgery. There’s a shamelessness that some women have regarding their bodies online, and as a feminist I want so badly to stand behind those women and support them. More
If you’ve ever heard the expression “crushing children’s spirits” and rolled your eyes, then today’s column is for you! (Conversely, if your response to that expression is, “Hear hear!”, then today’s column will probably piss you off.) It’s no secret that watching a child experience disappointment can be harder on the parents than on the child, because children represent all that is pure and innocent. Kids don’t know the cold realities that lay ahead; they’re just taking in the world through a neon green swizzle straw! But the fact is, kids will experience disappointment in the real world, and their parents can’t protect them forever.
Happy early Mother’s Day, everyone! To help celebrate the official day people give thanks to their moms (as opposed to every other day of the year when you can treat your mom like total garbage — KIDDING!), I’m handing out Gold Stars like they’re candy. These moms have earned it! It takes a special kind of person to write about the ups and downs of parenting via quirky status updates that read as pure entertainment. Sure, it’d be easy to focus on the weight of a parent’s job — to keep kids fed, to mold minds and prepare little ones to survive in the world one day on their own — but thankfully, many people take a different approach to Facebook that’s far more fun to read. More
We already know that mommyjacking is a habitual and evolving trend, with offending parents hijacking their friends’ status updates to mention something about their kids at every possible opportunity. Mommyjackers are know-it-alls, bubble bursters, one-uppers, and career scolders, and they love nothing more than finding a way to shine the spotlight on themselves or their kids. So it makes sense that birthdayjacking is such a common practice, particularly if someone is lucky enough to share to a birthday with a mommyjacker’s child. More
One reason people overshare is because they’re eager to get out their thoughts and be part of the conversation. But sometimes, it can be better to keep thoughts on certain subjects separate. For instance, every year on the anniversary of the September 11th attacks, STFU, Parents receives a series of submissions that say things like, “9/11. Never forget. Oh yeah, and Ella crawled today!”, which sort of reduce patriotic sentiments into sound bites. And every time something awful happens, instead of just saying, “My thoughts are with the victims and their families,” some parents include additional information about their kids that seems to divert the attention from the news item to little Braedyn being a cutie pie. And I guess I just don’t get that. More
Today’s column is the 100th I’ve written for Mommyish, so it’s fitting that it be a response to something “viral” on the Internet. After all, the STFU, Parents blog, book, and this very column exist because of online parenting trends. And this week, if there was oneÂ parenting-relatedÂ item that got everrrrybody talking, it was the Tumblr blog Reasons My Son Is Crying. More
Mom Arrested For Putting 3-Yr-Old Up For Adoption On Craigslist - That's Not The Worst Part
Source: The Stir
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Source: The Stir
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At long last, this week the STFU, Parents book finally showed itself to the world! After a long road from conception to birth, I’m pleased to announce that I am officially withÂ childÂ book. And I’d love for you funny and insightful Mommyish readers to pick up a copy! But, just to make it a little more enticing, I’ve put together a collection of brand new submissions that each represent a different category of overshare in the book. I’ve only highlighted eight of the 34 different types of overshare that are covered, but these eight represent what I consider to be the foundational elements that helped to inspire both the blog and its subsequent “sibling” — the book.
I hope they show placenta pics!
She will be on at 8:45 and I will post the video as soon as we have it. In the meantime, go buy your copy of the book so you can make yourself hurt from laughing. More
Happy early Easter, everyone! Well, not everyone, as I myself am Jewish, but hey, I’m not afraid to partake in a little chocolate bunny-gorging. I can appreciate the appeal of forcing your child to sit on a grown man-in-a-bunny-suit’s lap (although phrased in that way, it does sound a little weird, right?). I also understand the entertainment value of watching toddlers trip over themselves to collect Easter eggs, because really, there should be WAY more competitive events that involve collecting edible gifts off expansive, manicured lawns. I wouldn’t mind participating in an adult version of this, in which eggs are filled with money, jewelry, and sedatives. But that’s a hunt for another day! Today, we celebrate Easter and its importance in many a child’s life. More
I’m often asked, “How should I respond to my Facebook friends when they ask me when I plan to have a baby?” It’s both a simple and complicated question to answer, because technically the responses, “That’s not of your business,” and, “I don’t know,” work just fine no matter who you are. More
We’ve discussed parents’ yoonique baby name choices in this column several times before, but one thing we haven’t discussed is all the drama surrounding those choices. Did you know that baby name-stealing is a modern day tragedy of mammoth proportions? Well, it is. It’s a tragic epidemic that’s spiraling out of control. Hide yo names, hide yo wives, ’cause bitches be stealing. And if they’re not stealing, then they’re doing something else to anger parents, like mispronouncing little Jhykcen (pronounced “Jackson”) or Espn’s first names, or making up cute little nicknames for children that were NOT Parent Authorized. There’s more to today’s baby names than meets the eye. More