Should a witch destroy your ability to have human children by slaughtering a horse to perform blood magic over the septic, comatose body of your husband, just adopt a couple of dragons. It’s okay to call them your scalebabies. More
Topic: parenting style
But what does it take to be a Juggalo parent? Juggalo parenting goes way beyond simply dropping out of the third grade to start a meth lab. No, to mold a proper Ninja or Ninjette, you need to truly commit to the Juggalo lifestyle, or risk committing that most heinous of crimes – creating a Jugga-ho More
Still, I like the idea of viking parenting because I feel like if you tried to get all judgey on a viking mother for letting her kid watch T.V. she would be all YOU DARE QUESTION THE JUDGEMENT OF THE SHIELDMAIDEN LAGERTHA? I WILL CRACK YOUR BONES AND SUCK THE MARROW, THRALL. More
The idea is that if you teach your child the harsh realities of life you might prepare them for more hardship down the road. One day you will be gone, and they will still be able to cope. They will know empathy and because they struggled early, they will struggle less later. This is something that made a lot of sense to me then, but just doesn’t now. More
This weekend I was cruising Facebook, looking for people’s ideas to steal, when I stumbled across a post someone had put up about how their child had recently learned to recite the entire Epic of Gilgamesh in its original Akkadian and I wondered, how can that be? The most I’ve ever seen this child do is eat handfuls of dirt and scream if you change the channel when Bubble Guppies is on. More
I guess I see parenting styles in the same way that I regard bonsai trees; it’s a lot of work that’s designed to make sure that your kid comes out just so and only really dedicated people can stick to it because the rest of us will just fall asleep.
Listen, everyone needs a parenting style, okay? Babies are something akin to artisinal crafting endeavors or really expensive handbags, and if you don’t subscribe very rigidly to one style or another, you might forget that and start treating them like little humans instead, which is unacceptable. More
For my first child’s first birthday, I went hog wild for her party. I won’t embarrass myself by publicly announcing how much I spent but suffice it to say, it was way too much for a child not old enough to remember any of it. Yes, I know, the first birthday is more for the parents than the baby, but if I’d really thought about it, I would have realized that a dinner out with my husband would have been a far better way to spend that money. More
There is so much about being a new parent that can be completely overwhelming. Besides the obvious fact that you are now responsible for keeping another human being alive and hopefully, raising them to not be a total asshole, there is also the unending barrage of information coming your way from fellow moms, the internet, your family, your friends, the pediatrician, daycare teachers- it feels like it never ends. More
Do you have a kid who is ten or over the age of ten years? Congratulations! No one gives a shit if you are a bad parent anymore! More
If I wanted to give birth to a tiny adult, I would have adopted a 60-year-old man. I don’t know what it is about hot parenting philosophies today, but some of them seem soâ€¦ Oppressive? Restrictive? Over the top? More
Whether you like it or not, you might already have a parenting philosophy. And maybe said parenting philosophy isn’t really working for you anymore. The New Year is the perfect time to turn over a new leaf and kick outdated, restrictive parenting ideologies to the curb. More
I understand that in being a first-time parent you will be in awe of every single thing the child does, but my daughter-in-law is over the top and to be around her parenting style is exhausting. More
I can’t even believe this has to be said. Don’t change your baby’s diaper on a public table that people eat off of, okay? Also, don’t change your baby’s diaper around the general public while they are attempting to consume food. Get it? Got it? Good.