Topic: parenting humor

10 Horrifying Things You Will Experience As A Parent

10 Horrifying Things You Will Experience As A Parent

I am going to totally gross you out today, because I can. Trust me, I’m doing it for you. When you become a parent, a parade of disgusting things happens to you that you can’t share with anyone. If you tell any of the disgusting stories associated with the first years of parenthood, you will be banned from your friends’ Facebook feeds so fast – you’ll soon question why no one seems to have anything to say to you anymore. More »

10 Foods We Claim To Buy For Our Kids, But Secretly Binge On After They Go To Sleep

10 Foods We Claim To Buy For Our Kids, But Secretly Binge On After They Go To Sleep

I was hoping I wasn’t the only one who binged on Goldfish crackers after her kid went to bed. The comments section of the aforementioned article soothed me. I thought I was the only one who comfortably stocked my shopping cart with ridiculous foods, using my three-year old as my shopping list beard. Here are some things we “buy for our kids.” Wink, wink. More »

The Only Birth Plan You’ll Ever Need

The Only Birth Plan You'll Ever Need

1. If at any time myself or my husband start to cry and/or hyperventilate at the thought that we are about to be in charge of keeping a human alive even though both of us regularly forget whose turn it is to put the trash out and have to live with a swarm of flies hovering around our side-yard like we are renting from the adult version of Pig Pen, please look away and leave us with our dignities in tact. More »

A Cheat Sheet For The WTFness That Is Alicia Silverstone’s The Kind Mama

A Cheat Sheet For The WTFness That Is Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Mama

Maybe you really need to be a kinder mama, and you’ve decided to open your mind and pick up a copy of this book. Good for you. You will quickly realize that Alicia has an intricate vocabulary of baby-talk and new-age babble that may make it almost impossible for you to follow along. You may begin reading and immediately think, “What in the actual fuck is she talking about?” I deciphered her baby-talk-babble so you don’t have to. You’re welcome. More »

Jimmy Kimmel’s Kid Pranks Aren’t Funny Anymore – They’re Just Mean

Jimmy Kimmel's Kid Pranks Aren't Funny Anymore - They're Just Mean

Kids are hysterical. At least a dozen times a day my child says something completely ridiculous that makes me shake my head, spit out my drink or literally fall to the floor with laughter. People have made millions simply by videotaping the adorable things that come out of those little mouths. (Hi Mr. Cosby!) So why does Jimmy Kimmel have to make them cry to land a joke? More »

‘Is My Penis Still There? Good’ And Other Thoughts From A Two-Year-Old

'Is My Penis Still There? Good' And Other Thoughts From A Two-Year-Old

I spend my days writing about motherhood and, of course, reading about other women’s experiences. The best is feeling validated when it comes to, say, paying a babysitter to watch your kids so that you can work (never mind that you make less money than the sitter). Or even, I don’t know, choosing sleep over sex. It’s always from the women’s perspective, though, and I often wonder what’s going on inside the elusive daddy brain.

This website by New Jersey writer, comedian and father Jason Good gives us a glimpse into what guys think not just about fatherhood also about their neurotic wives. And, I kid you not, it is laugh-out-loud funny. I More »