Jennifer Aniston is clearly a hyper privileged woman with a lot of moola to ease whatever might plague her. But I don’t know how she has managed to weather nearly a decade of press-sanctioned uterus inspection. The Reigning Queen of Pregnancy Rumors, a position that I’m about 73 percent sure that she did not apply for, still manages to keep a smile on her face as the public practically WILLS a baby into her body. In promoting her new film We’re The Millers, Aniston briefly addressed her barren reputation. And let me tell you, she was way nicer than I think I could ever be to a parade of journalists wanting me to give them the bi-monthly womb update. More
Yes, girls who just recently got pubic hair are removing their pubic hair, all in the name of beauty. I don’t have a teenage daughter yet, but if mine came to me at age 16 and asked me to take her for a Brazilian I would be horrified. It’s bad enough these girls are all straightening their hair and getting makeovers at the Chanel counter, but waxing off their body hair is pretty appalling at such a young age. More
Super important news, ya’ll! That favorite purveyor of Americanized “Mexican” food for weed soaked teens and college kids has vowed to stop marketing their
slop food to our kids, because they want to be seen as cool to millenials. More
Pregnant Kate Middleton is reportedly due in mid-July. Not only does Buckingham Palace have an intricate birthing plan, an intricate premature birthing plan, and a helicopter ready to go, but the press has already started to line up. Grab your pavement while you can and prepare for the biggest shitshow ever. More
For most of the mid-2000s, I could have recited entire dialogue from Mean Girls for you on demand. In particular, I could spout entire scenes and exchanges between Queen Bee Regina George and my favorite of favorite characters, the pink track suit wearing wannabe BFF “cool mom” played by Amy Poehler. But now we may get to relive the pure amazingness of the Mean Girls dynamics all over again — as Mean Moms. OH YES. Bring on the sanctimommies! More
Pregnant Halle Berry has seemingly always been among celebrity parents who criticize our cultural celebrity obsession. Primarily because the tabloid-fueled frenzy makes for very harrowing experiences for their children. Perhaps that’s why when Halle Berry testified for an anti-paparazzi bill, she didn’t exactly hold back on how threatening the paparazzi presence is to her daughter Nahla. More
I find the current state of kid’s TV to be positively abysmal. Especially when my tween-age daughter tunes into most of the shows found on The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. I Hate (with a capitol H) the way adults are portrayed on these shows. Apparently Bill Cosby agrees with me.
This is an epic moment in tabloid pregnancy speculation. Despite years of pregnancy musing based on the shape of Beyonce‘s dress or the every angle of Jennifer Aniston‘s coat, People is actually admitting that one lady’s pregnancy is just the wind and nothing more. We’ve turned a corner! Or something. More
If you want your children to be in People magazine, I suggest going the now seemingly old-fashioned route of pimping them out via “Toddlers & Tiara’s” or any other reality show. Goodness knows that there is a rainbow of options for parents of virtually any parenting stripe. But now the tabloid is giving awful parents an even cleaner shortcut into getting their kids into the rags. Kid celebrity lookalikes! More
It wasn’t long ago that pregnant Evan Rachel Wood was leading nothing short of a crusade against paparazzi snapping photos of children — namely her own unborn child. But on the other end of the camera, Nicole Richie claims to have caught what one pap is willing to do to his own kid just to get that photo.
Daniel Radcliffe is officially playing the baby calendar game and talking to the press about it. The 23-year-old “definitely” wants kids and is figuring when exactly to have them. And People magazine is covering this news as if he were a lady. More
Celeb ladies who happen to be mommies get pretty much asked the same questions in interviews — most of which are variations on these two inquiries 1). Aren’t you panicked as shit about aging? 2). What’s it like to be a mommy? Luckily, Julianne Moore recognizes how lame it is to repeatedly ask actresses about these same novel topics. More
But while a Drake University professor has literally penned an essay entitled “The Baby Bump is the New Birkin,” a new cultural analysis is being presented. A baby bump isn’t just a trendy accessory (eye roll). In a rich celebrity setting, it’s the biggest lady tabloid status symbol. More
Oh to be a celebrity lady and have your entire childbearing years be constantly assessed and scrutinized for that possible baby bump. Is it here? Is it there? Is it under that big fancy print dress that you wore to the Met Gala that your BFF Gwyneth Paltrow will never ever be attending again? Inquiring and completely entitled misogynistic minds are dying to know, Beyonce! More