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You mommies and daddies who are keen to the fetus as fruit game know the timeline. First, it’s a poppy seed. A little later, an olive. Next, we’re looking at lemons, grapefruit, and cantaloupe. But in naming her unborn, Kate Middleton and Prince William have apparently gone for something a little more in the raspberry, blueberry family. More
If the Duchess was indeed referring to a daughter than the child will be a princess and referred to as “Her Royal Highness” and awwww, part of me adores the idea of a baby princess and part of me rolls my eyes and wonders if it is okay to eat the pizza leftovers that have been sitting on my counter all night for breakfast. Like the royals do. More
From the moment Kate Middleton had her big fancy Princess wedding in April 2011, the hunt has been on for that royal baby bump. So much so that when the Duchess was not pregnant mere months after her wedding, tabloids started spinning that old infertility narrative. But now that Kate Middleton is officially expecting, some are still wondering where their big Kate Middleton baby bump is. As if they’re entitled to it.
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Guess what everyone! I walked my dogs morning before I woke my daughter up for school. That’s right. I slipped into some yoga pants and tennis shoes, threw leashes on Buddy and Baloo, and we briskly jogged around the neighborhood a couple times! Aren’t you all thrilled and excited to get this important insight into my life? No? Well everyone seems super thrilled to hear about Kate Middleton and the royal fetus walking their dog, Lupo. More
While some would have you believe that Kate Middleton felt relaxed and rested after her babymoon to Mustique, new make-believe nonsense tabloid reports say that the Duchess of Cambridge is anything but stress-free. She’s been driven to supreme annoyance by Prince William‘s incessant worrying and coddling. I hope Kate isn’t looking for any sympathy though, because over-protective dads-to-be are the absolute cutest! More
Kate Middleton‘s babymoon was apparently a big old babymooning success. The Duchess who can’t so much as lounge on the beach or change her bikini without scores of pictures flooding the interwebs reportedly got in some good princess R&R. More
There is nothing in this article about wearing threadbare leggings and oversized T-shirts with stains on them. Nothing. Which was sort of my maternity fashion staples, except that one time when I had an event to attend and I purchased this truly hideous empire-waisted number that I think actually had a lace collar and tiny little flowers on it. Truly awful. I wore a lot of slides on my feet and yoga pants and hoodies and undershirts. I was not a pretty mom-to-be. I think when it was really hot out I relied on maxi-dresses, but those usually were wrinkled and sorta flow-y, not exactly Vogue cover material. More
It’s such difficult work to be pregnant royalty. You have to go shopping for maternity clothes and eat lavender shortbread cookies. Poor pregnant Kate Middleton was just overwhelmed. More
In case you missed it, pregnant Kate Middleton is apparently choosing to “conceal” her Kate Middleton baby bump from us all with her throwback choice of shawls. Chic pregnancy shawls! Instantly gone chic-i-fied by the Duchess choosing them. But since we’re going to be into this royal pregnancy thing all the way through her July due date, Kate Middleton has many baby bump concealing days ahead of her. And even she can’t cycle through fancy shawls forever. More
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First it was Kate Middleton‘s wedding dress that was flying off the shelves and being refashioned into knock offs. But, let’s be real. The pregnant Duchess’s every grab for leggings and a comfy t-shirt is somehow going to be spun as the New It Maternity Wear. Such as when she resurfaced on the streets of London wearing a shawl. You’ve been forewarned. Pregnancy shawls are in. More
The standard tell tale signs of celebrity pregnancies aren’t just degrading — they’re usually completely nonsensical. We’re supposed to think women in the limelight are pregnant for every flowy top, stomach touch, and “pregnant face” some paparazzi happens to snap an image of. And the list of derogatory phrases for the “post-baby body” aren’t that sweet either.
Tomorrow, I’m going to write a piece titled, “Pregnant Kate Middleton Woke Up This Morning.” Because, ya know, I realize that’s the first thing you think about when your eyelids start to flutter open for the day. “Where is my bestie Kate and how are she and the royal fetus doing?” More
This is total proof that there are no decent coffee makers for sale for home use. Now, I know you guys want to hear about The Duchess and her baby bump, but first off, let me say that if Kate Middleton is moseying off to Starbucks to get coffee then basically, I’m screwed. I’ve been in the market for a new coffee maker for ages because I’m sick of going to Starbucks. Their coffee isn’t that great, it’s expensive, I’m sure there are political reasons why I shouldn’t go there but I’m too lazy to google those now, and they take business anyway from local coffee houses, because where I live all we have is Starbucks. More
This morning, the PR team for the royal family announced Kate Middleton’s due date. The fact that they made this announcement on a Monday morning does not bode well for exactly how many times we’re going to read about this baby in-utero. More
