Topic: Kate Middleton

STFU Parents: 5 Types Of Royal Baby Facebook Updates

STFU Parents: 5 Types Of Royal Baby Facebook Updates

This week, Royal Baby Madness took center stage — at least, in my STFU, Parents inbox it did — as millions of people anticipated the birth of William and Kate’s baby, finally. After what felt like two years of waiting, the world was given its Simba. Some people were so consumed with the Royal Baby, they even found time to criticize the new parents on their car seat usage, proving once again that parenthood today comes chock full o’ judgment whether you’re a plebeian or official royalty. Ah, modernity! Social media gives us all the ability to comment on everything, and the discussion surrounding the Royal Baby’s highly publicized birth was no exception. More »

You Can’t Buy The Blanket That Princeling George Made His Debut In Anymore

You Can't Buy The Blanket That Princeling George Made His Debut In Anymore

You mommies and daddies move fast. Little Princeling George wasn’t even named when we met him two days ago. But while some people were fixated on P.O.C’s car seat, others were scouring the Internetsphere for the exact blanket he was nestled in. The former seem to have bought up every single one of those blankets, which means NONE left for Eve and I. You guys suck. More »

Kate Middleton May Change The Way The Media Scrutinizes Women’s Post-Baby Bodies

Kate Middleton May Change The Way The Media Scrutinizes Women's Post-Baby Bodies

I hope that the outrage over the OK magazine and Daily Mail headlines causes a shift in the way we treat new mothers, even celebrity ones. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again and I will say it until my voice is broken: All that matters is that the new mom is happy and healthy and healing well. It doesn’t matter what she looks like, what her weight is, or whether or not she is in the same size she was before giving birth. More »

Gaggle Of BabyCenter Sanctimommies Want You To Know That Kate And Will Used Their Baby’s Car Seat Incorrectly

Gaggle Of BabyCenter Sanctimommies Want You To Know That Kate And Will Used Their Baby's Car Seat Incorrectly

All eyes were notably on Kate Middleton and Prince William as they sauntered down the hospital steps with their newborn George Alexander Louis. So it’s rather predictable that among myself, Eve Vawter, and the rest of the world, there was also the Mommy Police — also known as the rabid Internet mommies who are checking your baby’s car seat in your Facebook photos. Will and Kate. They’re just like us!
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Kate Middleton ‘Proud Of Her Mummy Tummy’ Is Sneaky Post-Pregnant Body Shaming Snark

Kate Middleton 'Proud Of Her Mummy Tummy' Is Sneaky Post-Pregnant Body Shaming Snark

It’s disgusting enough that women who are not pregnant and who didn’t just have a baby get scrutinized for how they look and how their bodies look on a second-by-second basis. Having these conversations about a woman who just went through labor less than two days ago ( I HAVE MILK IN MY REFRIGERATOR OLDER THAN THE FUTURE KING OF ENGLAND) is something we all need to refuse to participate in. I’m utterly sick of this entire conversation. More »

In Yet Another Move As Best New Grandma Ever, K Middy’s Mom Isn’t Jabbering In Her Ear About Baby Names

In Yet Another Move As Best New Grandma Ever, K Middy's Mom Isn't Jabbering In Her Ear About Baby Names

Kate Middleton, Prince William, and their freshly born future King of England have finally left the hospital where the couple indulged in some postpartum pizza cravings. But although the royal couple have yet to decide or announce a name for the original P.O.C, one lady is keeping her mouth shut on baby name suggestions. And that fabulous person is Kate’s mom Carole.
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Kate And Wills Ordered Post-Labor Pizza Just Like They Are Common Peoples

Kate And Wills Ordered Post-Labor Pizza Just Like They Are Common Peoples

I have no information on whether our very favorite guard was involved in this pizza fetching or not. Nor do I know what sort of pizzas were ordered, but because they are in London I bet they are really good pizzas. I suppose there is a chance that these pizzas weren’t even delivered to the royal parents, and like maybe Pippa wanted pizza or something, but because it fits into the narrative I want to believe I shall go with what the Daily Mail claims. I love thinking of these adorable new parents cooing over the little princeling and noshing on pizza, just like they are all domestic and common like the rest of us. More »

Kate Middleton Had The Sense To Kick Both Her Mom And Sister Out Of The Delivery Room

Kate Middleton Had The Sense To Kick Both Her Mom And Sister Out Of The Delivery Room

We’re all hoping that laboring Kate Middleton is faring okay over there in the princess birthing suite with satellite TV and wifi. But while we may not be getting minute to minute cervical updates (to which, Eve Vawter says WHY NOT?!), we do know that Kate Middleton had the perinatal sense to have both her mother and sister kindly wait outside the birthing fortress. More »

10 Thoughts That One Guard Outside The Royal Baby Hospital Is Thinking

10 Thoughts That One Guard Outside The Royal Baby Hospital Is Thinking

If you have yet to join the Mommyish Viewing Party that is the livestreaming outside St Mary’s Hospital, then you’re missing out some Mommyish community fun. While Kate Middleton is inside presumably birthing, our royal baby addled attentions are fixed on the trio of gentlemen protecting the Lindo Wing. Especially the  guard in the foreground. Here are 10 thoughts I think our Guard McGuard is currently having as we await this momentous birth.
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K Middy May Be Lying To Us About Where She Is Birthing

K Middy May Be Lying To Us About Where She Is Birthing

Pregnant Kate Middleton, who needs to hurry up and deliver according to Queen Elizabeth, my associate editor Eve Vawter, and just about the entire Mommyish community, is trying to give us the slip! Mind your Kate Middleton Baby apps accordingly because despite all the hoopla that has been happening in London for days, K Middy may be planning to deliver in her hometown. SNEAKY DUCHESS. More »

Queen Elizabeth Wants Kate Middleton To Hurry Up And Start Pushing Before She Goes On Vacation

Queen Elizabeth Wants Kate Middleton To Hurry Up And Start Pushing Before She Goes On Vacation

Real talk time. I feel bad for Kate Middleton right now. I mean, yeah, she is super rich and a legit duchess. She probably sleeps on 1000 thread count sheets and has a handmaiden that feeds her grapes and what not, but she is nine months pregnant at the moment (in the middle of summer no less). It’s currently almost 90 degrees in London right now, and it it believed that she is well past her due date. Even if you live in a gilded cage, summer pregnancies SUCK. That being said, you would think those closest to her would give her a break from the whole duty-bound princess routine, but I guess Queen Elizabeth didn’t get the memo. More »