Last year, I wrote a¬†Fourth of July column¬†advising parents not to overreact to predictably loud and annoying holiday fireworks by complaining profusely on Facebook. No one listened to me. Granted, it could be because parents’ ears were punctured and rendered useless by the cries of their sleeping babies, barks of their dogs, and repeated booms outside their bedroom windows — but let’s be honest here: We are a nation that doesn’t live in a war zone (where I imagine that children’s sleeping patterns aren’t exactly top priority), and beyond that, we are a nation¬†that loves guns, which also make loud booms and also happen to kill people every single day of the year. There’s an irony to people complaining quite vocally, and angrily, about loud fireworks, when we actually have far more restrictions against setting off fireworks in the United States than we do against owning guns. More
Father’s Day is this Sunday and if you have a man in your life, namely a man who is your romantic partner or who put a baby inside you or who you call your boyfriend or husband or partner, you may be stumped about what to get them for this holiday. Many parenting websites have compiled some excellent guides about what to get the man you love for Father’s Day, and if we were to sit down a bunch of men and ask them I’m sure they would say things like “To spend time with the kids” or “A relaxing day with my family.” These are all nice things but the man you love also deserves some extra special treatment on Father’s Day, because of all they do for us and the kids and for a million other reasons. ¬†I know men, and I like to consider myself an expert on them, and I have compiled this amazing list that will help you decide the perfect gift for the holiday. Here are 100 things that the man you love really wants for this Father’s Day.
Being a mother can be really hard, and I will not give up my day of glory that comes but once a year on Mother‚Äôs Day. Believe it or not, there are mothers who hate Mother‚Äôs Day‚ÄĒsimilar to people who refuse to celebrate honest-to-God fun holidays because of ‚Äúcommercialism.‚ÄĚ More
I searched online for “mother’s day gift ideas,” and boy, did I find some doozies. Don’t buy any of these. More
Seriously? I’m sorry, but if your kid eats the stupid Easter grass that comes in the basket you may have bigger concerns than whether or not the 99 cent crap you get at your local Walgreens is ruining the environment. More
Seven Ways to Use Your Kids to Win Valentine‚Äôs Day Because Seven is Half of Fourteen And If You Follow This Advice You‚Äôll Be Half of a Couple Next Valentine‚Äôs Day So It Kind of Makes Sense Just Go With It I Couldn‚Äôt Come Up With Ten. More
But this is 2014, where Leprechauns need traps, Easter involves presents and Santa needs the help of a misogynistic elf. ¬† Pinterest exists to promote the idea that every holiday can be a beautiful, color coordinated spectacle, if only you take the time to warm up your glue gun.¬† I am not going to lie; there are days I want that for myself and my kids. I want to wake up in a world where I have the time to decorate my house inside and out in delightfully chic hearts and that manage to be both tacky and beautiful. However, that is not the world in which I live. My world mainly consists of waiting for cards to go on deep discount at Rite Aid before we go and buy a few boxes to split in a mad grab between my kids. Chances are I am not going all out for V-Day 2014. I can, however, step it up to ‚Äúmoderate effort level ‚ÄĚ and you can too. ¬† Join me for ‚ÄúAt Least I Tried- Valentine‚Äôs Day 2014.‚ÄĚ More
Fifteen years and three kids later, my wish list is a bit simpler. Would I like to re-create the sort of blissful romance I had in years past? Of course. But, my priorities have definitely changed with the two new little loves of my life. Nowadays, I consider it to be a true gift if I am able to use the bathroom without a kid trying to jump on my head at the same time. So, for this year, I present this fantasy list of six things I want for Valentine‚Äôs Day that don‚Äôt cost a thing. More
t’s almost Valentine’s Day, and if you are like me you get your kids a card and maybe some candy or another small little thing. The issue I have with Valentine’s Day is that I can never find the perfect card to get for my teenager, either they are too sappy or don’t fit his personality or just don’t seem right. I’m sure some of you with teen daughters feel the same way.
Because I’m a totally helpful person, I have created a lovely collection of Valentine’s Day cards for your teenagers that probably work a lot better than what you see on the racks in stores. More
Were some people offended by this? Probably someone, somewhere, was. I’m sure many readers will be scandalized. But, for me, the important thing for ourselves and our children is that we show gratitude. I’m not convinced that always sending a thank you note is the only way to do it, and I especially think the obsessive score keeping is much ruder and much more hateful. More
Oh, man, if you can somehow find a way to plan your life perfectly, don’t be pregnant on a holiday. Especially not my all-time favorite holiday that only comes but once a year: New Year’s Eve. More
I think we can all agree that Christmas haul photos are tacky. So why do they still exist? More
So much for the scaling back idea; I’ve realized it’s impossible to have a child who’s not showered with gifts when you are surrounded by relatives.
Happy holidays from¬†STFU, Parents! The jingle bells are ringing, the snow is falling (depending on where you live), and the fire is raging (unless, like me, you just¬†watch this). As of last week, we have officially entered The Winter Season. Let us all rejoice before sliding down a¬†flight of stairs. To help kick off the season, and to celebrate the Christmas holiday, let’s take a look at some mommyjacking examples that pertain specifically to winter weather and snowy activities. More