So, for me, having kids before the age of 25 makes me shudder, especially when I think of the types of guys that I was mixing and mingling with back then. I’m assuming that it was with this same motivation that all of the people in the survey, 58% to be exact, decided that 25 was the best age for women to procreate along with a male counterpart, aged 27. More
Topic: having a baby
Before I had a child of my own, I merely disliked them. They made me long for those proverbial â€śgood olâ€™ days,â€ť when children were seen and not heard. A golden age of yore when they had it half right (I mean, Iâ€™d rather not see them either, truth be told). However, thanks to their mother and grandmother, who, God only know why, have worked them up to a fever pitch over my new baby, my feelings have escalated to complete abhorrence (yes, I consulted a thesaurus in composing this piece). More
When entrusted — or rather suddenly confronted — with a newborn, many a modern parent understandably turns to the Google. For better or worse, you’ll most likely be crowdsourcing images of your newborn’s poop to gauge normalcy while also picking through old BabyCenter comment threads about curious skin rashes. If you’ve recently welcomed a baby, your web browser history probably looks a little something like this. More
“Push presents,” one of many irksome words from the list of ever increasing mommy vocabulary, are a load of malarkey. Furthermore malarkey-tastic is the notion that a diamond encrusted fill in the blank is your “earned” carrot/present for reproducing. Some ladies may be pleased as pie to have a wad of sapphires following the birth of the child. But if we’re talking “presents” — and not just what is straight expected — I’d rather have a mess of this: More
2. Ravenous Facing Dog
Standing at your refrigerator at three in the morning, use your arms to pull anything edible from shelves and shove in your mouth. Breastfeeding makes you feel ravenous so do this quickly before your partner returns with a screaming baby to demand your udders. More
A parent’s love many be consistent, but their approval is a mighty, mighty fickle thing — and can usually come in two prominent flavors of concern: kids and marriage. Such is the essential takeaway from a fairly open-ended, yet swelling Reddit thread that was prompted with a simple question, “What aspect of your life is a disappointment to your parents?” More
You don’t necessarily need to be a parent to know that a lot “clever” baby onesies are actually Grade A stupid. Aside from the expected cracks about hot my mommy or daddy is or how much “I love boobies,” a lot of “funny” baby onesies just come across crass and snotty. More
So, you’ve had a baby? If you are wondering whether anyone will every pay attention to you again, the answer is “no.” Get used to it.
I jest – sort of. After the baby is born, it’s all baby – all the time. Everyone wants to talk about the baby and bring the baby gifts. You may be left wondering where the hell your gifts are; I mean, you are the one that just grew and birthed a baby, after all. The baby didn’t do shit, am I right? More
Parenthood transforms your web browser history like nothing else. Where there was once “Miley Cyrus VMAs” or “can I drink during pregnancy?,” there comes a new litany of adorable first-time parenting questions. A new parent’s anxiety about caring for a tiny new person easily manifests in a Google addiction that, sometimes, can make a frazzled mother or father even more detached from reality. But that doesn’t make you any less likely to scour the interwebs with the following inquiries. More
An Open Letter To The Parents Of The Girl Who Gave My Kid Lice
Source: The Stir
How To Increase The Unconditional Love For Yourself
What Will Candace Cameron NEVER Do Onscreen?
Mom Accused Of Selling Her Newborn - For The SECOND Time!
Source: The Stir
6 Ways To Burn More Calories When Having Sex
Source: The Frisky
I have always had an affinity for vintage etiquette books, particularly the ones from places like Seventeen that tell girls how to lose at tennis and ensure a second date without, you know, actually asking for one. But while I treasure those 1950s time capsules as precious slut-shaming artifacts, I don’t expect to find equally archaic sentiments in contemporary advice columns — for contemporary mothers. But this didactic 1950s housewife advice from The Independent is straight out of 2013. More
Women now account for quite the spending power in our contemporary economic landscape. So the question remains why some companies, like Uboxes, insist on talking to dudes like they all have a delicate pregnant wifey at home who “meticulously” folds your laundry and is consuming your life with all her craptastic baby purchases. If you were ever curious what Betty Draper might purchase if she had Internet, Uboxes nails it. More
Now that my son is 12 months old, I can admit something that I would never have fathomed admitting to anyone. When I first saw him, of course, I loved him instantly with that unconditional love a mother feels. But, to put it bluntly, for the first year of his life I just didnâ€™t feel bonded to him. This was shocking to me because I wanted another baby to the point of obsession. More
While there are baby “necessities” that you don’t need on your baby shower registry, the endless plethora of crap marketed to new parents rages beyond the occasion for cupcakes, specifically when staring googly-eyed at all the new gadgets. Walk down the aisle of any baby store while expecting and you’ll suddenly find yourself delighted with things like a wipe warmer! Timers! And more fun stroller configurations that you can imagine. More
As I’ve mentioned before, I started my family on the younger side and therefore had less expectations about what that would entail. I figured it would be me, my partner, and my little bundle of
poo joy enjoying life to the fullest. What crap.
There is apparently so much more that goes into parenthood. Or at least you would think that if you see some of the shenanigans that are expected of you once you pop out a few bambinos. There are the obvious non-negotiables, like taking your kids to the doctor, or reading the same book 10 times in a row. But then there are the strange and annoying things that tons ofÂ moms seem to do that I Just. Can’t. Stand. Here are some of your typical “mom” things that I will NOT be doing anytime soon. More