I always hated my husband’s couch. I just didn’t mean to passive aggressively destroy it during labor. More
The anesthesiologist was ready to give me an epidural. Right after a few quick phone calls. And checking to see if my husband was feeling alright. More
They say having your water break is something that only happens in the movies. But it happened to me. And so did the ring of fire… More
While obviously I am thrilled that my children were born healthy, there is a part of me that is unhappy with my labor story. I can’t help but wonder if I could have avoided the c-section had I not had the epidural. Perhaps if laughing gas had been an option during my pregnancy,I would have realized the pain was manageable and I could have had my babies vaginally. More
When I allow myself to think of it I cry, or shake, or lie awake at night. I can only describe it in colors. Red and Black. If I had to describe it Iâ€™d say itâ€™s like biting the live end of an electrical wire and being thrashed to and fro like a rag doll, hanging on for dear life, except you arenâ€™t hanging on at all but being dragged. I realize this sounds ridiculous, that millions of women do it, that I wasnâ€™t actually dying or being tortured or at war. Iâ€™m just a rich American white girl but I am scared shitless nonetheless. More
Birth junkies, “natural” sanctimamas, and even the occasional aggressive mama bear use Facebook in a way that most other sanctimommies don’t. While the common sanctimommy might utilize Facebook to brag, complain, or get enraged about a subject that pertains directly to her, the types of sanctimommies I’m talking about are usually speaking to ALL women and mothers about birth. They see themselves as counselors, coaches, and above all, champions for mothers and the birth process. Fundamentally speaking, I could get on board with some of their philosophies. I admire women who feel in control of their bodies, and I believe in a mother’s intuition. But even more than that, I admire women who have given birth and don’t feel the need to tell everyone every freaking thing about it and why their way is the best way. More
Pregnant Kristen Bell is expecting her first baby with fiancĂ©Â Dax Shepard. And no, she won’t be opting for the birthing pool, a fancy doula, a midwife, and/or natural childbirth. Hell to the no on that from this celebrity mother. More
A harpoon-like pain right through your lady business will do that. More
I don’t have a problem with the natural birth movement. I have a problem with the close-mindedness that exists on both sides of the debate. More
I made sure to tell everyone, from the nurses in admitting to the anesthesiologist as he set up my epidural. He promised me a good experience this time around. It was anything but. More
I was never against the drugs. Drugs, I thought, were for other people. For people who could tolerate long needles shoved up their spinal cords. For people who didnâ€™t mind being confined to a bed. I didnâ€™t have something to prove when I opted for a natural birthâ€”I was just deeply afraid of doctor intervention. Now, I know this makes little sense when comparing the level of pain one endures during the dreaded ring of fireâ€”the agonizing sensation that occurs when your baby stretches your vagina to its capacityâ€”but there is a difference between the fear of the unknown and the fear of needles.
I opted for the unknown. More
I was pretty excited when I first saw earlier this week that the New York Times had written about the increasing popularity and profile of midwives â€“ until I actually read the article, that is.
It’s not that the article, “The Midwife as Status Symbol,” is wrong exactly. Yes, models like Christy Turlington and Gisele Bundchen used midwives. Yes, they are having something of a moment right now. And yes, the public perception of what midwives do and who they are for is changing. The problem is that the Times only presents a tiny piece of the story.
Natural childbirth has become a badge of honor for mothers who endure it. Celebrities everywhere tout their natural bonafides in every birth announcement. Miranda Kerr let the world know that she had to work to get that baby by announcing, “‘I gave birth to him naturally; without any pain medication and it was a long, arduous and difficult labour.” Kelly Preston not only refused drugs, she didn’t even speak. Gisele Bundchen famously irked mothers everywhere when she said that childbirth, “didn’t hurt in the slightest”. Even Jessica Alba proved to the world that she was one centered momma by saying, “I didn’t scream. It was really Zen. The labor was more like meditation.”
So does natural childbirth prove that you’re a better or more committed mother? Does it demonstrate just how willing you are to sacrifice your own comfort for your child’s? Or is it just an all-natural, all-organic, I’m-so-much-better-than-you way to prove your “Top Mama” status?
The birth of my first daughter involved an emergency c-section that, Iâ€™m not ashamed to report, I actually preferred over a vaginal delivery. Thatâ€™s right, I willingly kissed my Jillian Michaels abs goodbye and â€śchoseâ€ť major abdominal surgery over natural childbirth. My daughter was slow to arrive on the scene and the situation presented to me was this: I had a 50/50 chance that she could emerge the â€śnaturalâ€ť way or, you know, the other way (via c-section). The choice for me was a no-brainer.
Itâ€™s only when I share my birth story with other moms that I get the feeling I had somehow â€ścheatedâ€ť myself out of a True Motherhood Experience simply because I wasnâ€™t very good at bearing down on a yoga ball, or squatting in a kiddie pool surrounded by moon cake and mulled wine. More