Topic: Disney

Stop Panicking Parents I Have Your Disney Frozen Merchandise Right Here!

Stop Panicking Parents I Have Your Disney Frozen Merchandise Right Here!

Your kid doesn’t get a Frozen doll. Too bad boo hoo, now they will grow up and hate you. That’s what you get parents, that is what you get! But I have a solution for you, oh boy do I ever, because I’m an amazingly smart person and I will share my wisdom with you so your dumb kid will stop whining about their dumb lack of Disney branded bullshit you will end up donating by next Easter anyway. More »

STFU Parents: The 9 Types Of Outraged Parents You’ll Find On The Disney Store’s Facebook Page

STFU Parents: The 9 Types Of Outraged Parents You'll Find On The Disney Store's Facebook Page

After a flurry of press, you may have read the very important news that some parents are flipping out over the shortage of “Frozen” merchandise on the Disney Store Facebook page. As a person with specialized skills in observing crazy parents on Facebook, I spent some time sifting through the madness to reveal the depths of the months-long outrage. More »

Airplane Travel Sucks Unless You Happen To Be Flying With The Cast Of The Lion King

Airplane Travel Sucks Unless You Happen To Be Flying With The Cast Of The Lion King

Flying is now like traveling by giant stinky bus in the sky and in no way like it used to be back in the day when I first started flying places. Flying used to be exciting and clean and glamorous and an event! Now it is all expensive and cramped and sad and gross. Unless of course, you happened to be on the flight from Brisbane To Sydney with the Australian broadway cast of The Lion King. More »

Frozen Won’t Give Your Kids The Gay, No Matter How Many Fundamentalists Say It Will

Frozen Won't Give Your Kids The Gay, No Matter How Many Fundamentalists Say It Will

I just listened to something that I’m certain actually made me a little dumber, but bear with me while I pound my fists on this keyboard and try to form coherent thoughts. Kevin Swanson, Christian pastor and professional moron, has a lovely soundbite circulating around the Internet today. To sum it up, Disney was bought by the devil in 1984 and it’s Oscar-winning film Frozen was orchestrated by his minions to give your kids the gay. Makes sense, right? Yeah. Totally plausible. More »

Frozen’s ‘Let It Go’ Wins Best Original Song Because It’s The Feminist Anthem Your Daughter Needs

Frozen's 'Let It Go' Wins Best Original Song Because It's The Feminist Anthem Your Daughter Needs

When you compare Let It Go to the pop culture musical offerings our daughters are exposed to, the Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry and hundreds of other bubblegum, highly sexualized, auto-tuned ditties about mainly boys and meeting boys and dating boys and losing boys and making boys like you – Let It Go is about self-celebration and finding your true power within. It’s about growing up and learning to accept yourself and loving who you are on the inside. More »