Topic: christmas presents

When It Comes To Christmas Present Shopping I Plan Way Ahead And Still Panic At The Last Minute

When It Comes To Christmas Present Shopping I Plan Way Ahead And Still Panic At The Last Minute

But then something happens to me around December 15. I think, “there’s less than two weeks until Christmas Day! Do I have enough presents?” The anxiety grows as the day comes closer. I imagine them tearing through their few gifts and sitting there looking dejected on Christmas morning. By December 23 I’m sure I have ENOUGH presents, but are they the right presents? More »

I Think White Elephant May Be The Answer To Greedy Holiday Gifting

I Think White Elephant May Be The Answer To Greedy Holiday Gifting

Ever since I joined my husband’s holiday celebrations, the adults had a regular gift drawing (Secret Santa) and a White Elephant gift drawing, each with a set amount. For a few years, the White Elephant gift was supposed to be silly and random—just as the game intended. Some gifts that made the lineup were a fistful of scratch-offs from yours truly, as well as Christmas Story pint glasses and a Superman snuggie. More »

Daddyish: The Parents’ ‘Don’t Be An Idiot’ Anti-Gift Guide

 Daddyish: The Parentsâ 'Donât Be An Idiot' Anti-Gift Guide

Instead, this list is about the worst gifts for kids. Not all kids, like I said, I can’t speak to that. But the worst gifts to buy your own children. I don’t give a shit what my neighbors give their kids. At least not until my son sees whatever cool new toy Rohan-across-the-street’s parents bought him and starts waking me up in the middle of the night screaming for it. More »

10 Types Of Moms I’d Punch In The Face For A Tickle Me Elmo At Christmastime

10 Types Of Moms I'd Punch In The Face For A Tickle Me Elmo At Christmastime

Hypothetically, the only reason I’d ever face holiday-deal shopping in one of those nightmare stores would be if my two-year-old nephew wanted a toy that could only be purchased off the shelf. Since he lives in the U.K., if whatever toy the kids go crazy over wasn’t available there, I’d be stuck playing aggressive tug-of-war with some moms and dads at Walmart. I love that little dingus and he loves Elmo. If 2013 was the year of Tickle-Me-Elmo, I’d do whatever it took to secure one for him. More »

I’m Giving My Baby A Lump Of Coal For Christmas Or Anything Else That Is Semi-Free

I'm Giving My Baby A Lump Of Coal For Christmas Or Anything Else That Is Semi-Free

My baby has no concept of what Christmas actually is. He’ll probably be overjoyed just to get a sippy cup in his stocking that he can gnaw on for the remainder of the day. As my kids get older and start to understand what Christmas is all about, I’ll be happy to buy them the number one gift on their list (within reason). Until then, practical Christmas gifts will have to do. Bah Humbug? More »

Daddyish: The Vengeful Wife’s ‘You Did This to Me!’ Holiday Gift Guide

 Daddyish: The Vengeful Wifeâs 'You Did This to Me!' Holiday Gift Guide

Yes, I know, you love your kids too. I love my son, and he’s the light of my wife’s life. But still. You’d go back, right? You’d take a day to be child-free, so long as you knew you could go back, of course. And you’d definitely take the body you had pre-pregnancy, right? Not to say you’re not still beautiful, of course you are! But pregnancy was some bullshit, am I right? Not that I have any idea what I’m talking about. More »

Don’t Blame The Kids For The Mile Long Christmas List, It’s Our Fault

Don't Blame The Kids For The Mile Long Christmas List, It's Our Fault

I can’t believe I’ve reached the point in my life where I’m telling “walking uphill in the snow” stories – but here goes: when we were kids we were allowed to ask for ONE thing that we really wanted for Christmas. Then we would wish and pray and hope that either Santa or one of our parents would understand our immense desire to own this thing – and present it to us on Christmas. More »