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On most days of the year I know I am raising decent little kids. My 2-year-old never forgets to say please and thank you. My 4-year-old has impeccable manners at school according to all his teachers. But still, when it comes to the over-indulgence of Christmas, I was a little worried about how my young children would take it all in. More
My mom told me what she bought for my kids at Target, and since Target has nearly an entire aisle dedicated to makeup brushes; I thought I was good to go. I may or may not have purchased a mason jar in anticipation. So when the time came to open presents, I was not prepared for what actually happened. More
My parents divorced when I was 10, and I do remember my dad still trying to half-heartedly make Christmas special. Of course, he didn’t have Santa on his side, but he did give us a bunch of small gifts that were tagged “From Jesus.” More
But then something happens to me around December 15. I think, “there’s less than two weeks until Christmas Day! Do I have enough presents?” The anxiety grows as the day comes closer. I imagine them tearing through their few gifts and sitting there looking dejected on Christmas morning. By December 23 I’m sure I have ENOUGH presents, but are they the right presents? More
In retrospect, now that I no longer have an eight pound baby sitting on top of my bladder, I’m happy that my son has his own birth month outside of the holiday season. But, after the excitement of Christmas dies down, I have no freaking clue what to get the kid for his birthday. More
Ever since I joined my husband’s holiday celebrations, the adults had a regular gift drawing (Secret Santa) and a White Elephant gift drawing, each with a set amount. For a few years, the White Elephant gift was supposed to be silly and random—just as the game intended. Some gifts that made the lineup were a fistful of scratch-offs from yours truly, as well as Christmas Story pint glasses and a Superman snuggie. More
Instead, this list is about the worst gifts for kids. Not all kids, like I said, I can’t speak to that. But the worst gifts to buy your own children. I don’t give a shit what my neighbors give their kids. At least not until my son sees whatever cool new toy Rohan-across-the-street’s parents bought him and starts waking me up in the middle of the night screaming for it. More
Hypothetically, the only reason I’d ever face holiday-deal shopping in one of those nightmare stores would be if my two-year-old nephew wanted a toy that could only be purchased off the shelf. Since he lives in the U.K., if whatever toy the kids go crazy over wasn’t available there, I’d be stuck playing aggressive tug-of-war with some moms and dads at Walmart. I love that little dingus and he loves Elmo. If 2013 was the year of Tickle-Me-Elmo, I’d do whatever it took to secure one for him. More
The irony of this particular “problem” is not lost on me. I’m not so oblivious that I’m actually complaining about the fact that my child can recognize how thoroughly her needs are met that she doesn’t whine for more. Obviously, I think that’s pretty bitchin’. More
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My baby has no concept of what Christmas actually is. He’ll probably be overjoyed just to get a sippy cup in his stocking that he can gnaw on for the remainder of the day. As my kids get older and start to understand what Christmas is all about, I’ll be happy to buy them the number one gift on their list (within reason). Until then, practical Christmas gifts will have to do. Bah Humbug? More
A doll and book run around 110 clams. I like the fact the dolls come with a book. I like the fact that dolls look like little girls, and as far as I can tell, none of them are wearing fishnets or stilettos. I like the fact the dolls have a historical aspect to them. But what I don’t like is how any additional junk you buy for the dolls is way expensive. More
Yes, I know, you love your kids too. I love my son, and he’s the light of my wife’s life. But still. You’d go back, right? You’d take a day to be child-free, so long as you knew you could go back, of course. And you’d definitely take the body you had pre-pregnancy, right? Not to say you’re not still beautiful, of course you are! But pregnancy was some bullshit, am I right? Not that I have any idea what I’m talking about. More
I can’t believe I’ve reached the point in my life where I’m telling “walking uphill in the snow” stories – but here goes: when we were kids we were allowed to ask for ONE thing that we really wanted for Christmas. Then we would wish and pray and hope that either Santa or one of our parents would understand our immense desire to own this thing – and present it to us on Christmas. More
Parents are usually so busy worrying about the perfect gifts to buy people and when it comes time for mom or dad to open up their gift a lot of the time they get something dumb they don’t even want. Okay, that isn’t ALWAYS the case but I have heard some horror stories about people who have ended up getting a blender or a scale for Christmas when it wasn’t even on their list. More
