Topic: childbirth

The Only Birth Plan You’ll Ever Need

The Only Birth Plan You'll Ever Need

1. If at any time myself or my husband start to cry and/or hyperventilate at the thought that we are about to be in charge of keeping a human alive even though both of us regularly forget whose turn it is to put the trash out and have to live with a swarm of flies hovering around our side-yard like we are renting from the adult version of Pig Pen, please look away and leave us with our dignities in tact. More »

Push Presents Are NOT Stupid And You Should Totally Demand One Because Dumb Babies Get All The Gifts

Push Presents Are NOT Stupid And You Should Totally Demand One Because Dumb Babies Get All The Gifts

I take huge issue with Maria Guido calling push presents stupid. Yes, the name is stupid – PUSH PRESENTS, but the idea of getting a fabulous prize after going through the total hassle of carrying a baby and then giving birth to it absolutely deserves a present. Or having a baby via surrogate. Or adopting a baby. Or even adopting a damn cat. More »

Push Presents Are Stupid, So Don’t Be Surprised If People Make Fun Of You If You Ask For One

Push Presents Are Stupid, So Don't Be Surprised If People Make Fun Of You If You Ask For One

As any company will tell you, labeling is everything. Calling a nice gift someone happens to give a pregnant lady after she gives birth a “push present” makes everyone’s skin crawl, just FYI. Also, requesting a gift for pushing a baby out of your vagina probably won’t go over well, either. I’m not saying you don’t deserve one – I’m just saying it’s all in the delivery. Saying something like, “I expect a diamond for going through pregnancy” will probably have everyone’s eyes in your general vicinity rolling into the back of their heads. More »

Actual Useful Tips For Finding A VBAC-Friendly Doctor

Actual Useful Tips For Finding A VBAC-Friendly Doctor

After going through an emergency c-section with my first child, I was determined to have a successful VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) with my second. The experience I had with my first birth was a little terrifying. I wanted to do whatever I could to put myself in a position to be able to attempt having a non-surgical birth the second time around. Finding a “VBAC-friendly” doctor was not easy. More »

Someone Figured Out How To Get That Annoying Cork Out Of A Wine Bottle And That Annoying Baby Out Of Your Vagina

Someone Figured Out How To Get That Annoying Cork Out Of A Wine Bottle And That Annoying Baby Out Of Your Vagina

Has anyone ever accidentally shoved the wine cork back into the bottle of wine when they were uncorking it? If so – have you ever managed to extract the cork without sweating or crying? I usually just say, “eff it” and end up leaving it floating in the bottle. Thank god a mechanic in Argentina is nothing like me – or this incredible, possibly life-saving tool for delivering babies would have never been invented. More »