There are certain situations when – if you don’t have anything supportive to say, you should really just shut up. One of these situations is when a woman talks about a traumatic birth. If you find the words, You have a healthy baby and that’s all that matters! beginning to roll off your tongue – just keep them in your mouth. More
Not just for hippies! More
Has anyone ever accidentally shoved the wine cork back into the bottle of wine when they were uncorking it? If so – have you ever managed to extract the cork without sweating or crying? I usually just say, “eff it” and end up leaving it floating in the bottle. Thank god a mechanic in Argentina is nothing like me – or this incredible, possibly life-saving tool for delivering babies would have never been invented. More
After all, this is a person who will be there when you are (hopefully) pushing a baby out of your vagina. More
Lotus birth mom, aka Adele Allen, the woman who described her lotus birth experience on XOJane this week, has some pretty unconventional ideas about illness. More
With my first child, my husband was very excited to be part of the whole having-a-baby process. He loyally attended every prenatal appointment, went to the labor classes, and helped me pick a dula. When it came time to actually push out the child, I knew it would be mostly on me. He tried to be helpful, but ultimately, he clearly got frustrated by how long it took, got bored, and was generally not a fan of the process. I knew he would be kicked out of the room once I started pushing (part of the reason I felt I needed a dula), but I wanted him out way sooner. More
Is it crazy that I’m secretly a little envious of these women who just unexpectedly go into labor and pop out children in the weirdest places? It happened again – this time at a Barnes & Noble in California. More
My son spent 76 days in NICU. It was devastating. And here’s what added insult to injury. More
Among the fairly standard labor horror stories of epidurals not working and not quite making it to the hospital is the doctor being all “you’re not ready yet.” Twenty-nine-year-old Irma Lopez now has one of the worst stories of this ilk in that after she was turned away, she gave birth on the lawn. Outside the Rural Health Centre that she had JUST been turned away from.
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Birth junkies, “natural” sanctimamas, and even the occasional aggressive mama bear use Facebook in a way that most other sanctimommies don’t. While the common sanctimommy might utilize Facebook to brag, complain, or get enraged about a subject that pertains directly to her, the types of sanctimommies I’m talking about are usually speaking to ALL women and mothers about birth. They see themselves as counselors, coaches, and above all, champions for mothers and the birth process. Fundamentally speaking, I could get on board with some of their philosophies. I admire women who feel in control of their bodies, and I believe in a mother’s intuition. But even more than that, I admire women who have given birth and don’t feel the need to tell everyone every freaking thing about it and why their way is the best way. More
“Push presents,” one of many irksome words from the list of ever increasing mommy vocabulary, are a load of malarkey. Furthermore malarkey-tastic is the notion that a diamond encrusted fill in the blank is your “earned” carrot/present for reproducing. Some ladies may be pleased as pie to have a wad of sapphires following the birth of the child. But if we’re talking “presents” — and not just what is straight expected — I’d rather have a mess of this: More
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – men really do freak when women go into labor. Maybe not all men, but mine did, which is why I totally believe this woman gave birth to a baby in the car en route to the hospital and then attempted to hide it under her dress so her husband wouldn’t panic and crash. More
I had a natural birth for both of my sons, at a birthing center and at home, respectively. When it comes to natural birthing, most moms fall into two camps: You may picture an old-fashioned 1800s scene with a woman biting down on a wooden spoon and a pot of boiling water beside the bed. The stuff nightmares are made of.
Or, if you drank the natural birth Kool-Aid and are all gung-ho about the idea (like me), you may imagine a drug-free birthing fantasy that will bring you the most beautiful connection with the baby you have yet to meet.
But with the first contraction, shit hits the fan, literally and figuratively. This is true whether you plan to birth in a hospital, a birthing center, at home, or in a barn. More