My family is what most people call a blended family. I married my husband almost seven years ago, and when we met I had a child from a previous relationship, a daughter (now nine) who my husband loves like his own kid. We went on to have two kids together, my 5-year-old daughter and my 3-year-old son.
It worked for us then and it works for us now, but this isn’t always satisfying for the teeming masses, yearning to
breathe free stay all up in my biznezz. More
I point blank refused to be part of a âfamily meeting.â The first and foremost reason being that, in all honesty, itâs completely or almost impossible, to not side with your biological child in a blended family, unless itâs over something super serious. More
My fiancĂ© has told me numerous times that if his children do something I donât like when they are with us, then I can, and should, say something to them. Which is good in theory, but in practice, I just canât do it. More
Now I have stepchildren in my life and Iâm not really sure what to expect, or how to be proactive when it comes to my two stepchildren. I donât want to feel like Motherâs Day is the Biggest Let Down of The Year. I know I shouldnât EXPECT anything. And while I donât really, I canât help but know my stepchildren are in my house 50 percent of the time. More
When I was 17, I was in love with a boy who was my entire world. He was a few years older and enlisted in the military, going off to boot camp and serving in far away places throughout his military career. Meanwhile I finished high school and enrolled in college, trying to continue my life while writing daily letters, awaiting intermittent phone calls and widely spaced visits in person. At the time, I thought that he would eventually get out of the military, return home to me and then we would finally get married and raise a family. I was too young and naive to fully grasp what that plan truly encompassed. More
There is a lot of jealousy when it comes to blending families. Case in point? Technology. My fiancĂ© has to rotate the photo on his iPhone screen because he is surrounded by a bunch of jealous family members, half biologically related, half not. More
I met my husbandâs children about a month into our romantic relationship. It was a bit soon, in case youâre wondering. Theyâd never met any of the other women he dated and viewed me with the kind of suspicion that either rendered them rude or mute in my presence. As empathetic as I felt, âWhy are you always here?â is not a question that endears a child to anyone, especially when youâve only met them three times and have taken care to make sure theyâve seen their dad alone in between those visits. More
Blended families can admittedly be rough but struggling with how to love stepchildren doesn’t even compare to a child ultimately taking her life. Such is the tragedy of 9-year-old Justice Williams who hung herself after the birth of her baby half-brother. More
(Between you and me, I have a case of Diet Coke hidden with my shoes in my closet in my bedroom. Yes, thatâs what my household has come to! So, please, help me.) More
Iâve been thinking a lot about Kevin Federline, who has just had his fifth child with Victoria Price, his third Baby Mama (unfortunate, but true â not that he had another child but rather that Iâm thinking about Federline at all). Mostly, I wonder about all his childrenâs last names. Truth be told, Iâve been wondering about my one childâs last name and how confusing that is. More
As children we are taught to âshare, share, share!â But as adults, especially an adult who has been through a divorce or separation, sharing, you learn, can suck. This is why, before my boyfriend moves in, Iâm making him sign a cohabitation agreement. More
Welcome to Splitsville. This weekly column will focus on parenting after a divorce, break-up or one-night stand that didnât end like a Katherine Heigl movie.
Blended families aren’t really known for their simplicity. The family structure is rarely predictable and the schedule is hectic, to say the least. But hopefully, every group can find a rhythym that works for them. It takes lots of communication and plenty of give-and-take, but a compromise can be reached!
Once a family hits this precarious balance, it’s hard to break from the habit. You begin to build a routine and no one wants to throw a screw in the system. And nothing alters a blended families balance more than a new addition.
That’s right! Enter the step-parents. More
My boyfriendâs ex-wife does not want me at her daughterâs birthday party. She feels âuncomfortableâ and ânot ready to meet me,â as my boyfriend has just told me. (Sheâs also told her children this.) Iâve been dating him for a year now, and my daughter, his kids and I are now âblended.â They sleep over often. We hang out often. There are plans for him and his kids to move in with my daughter and me. (He has 50 percent custody.) There are a number of feelings I have about her not wanting me at her daughterâs birthday party, even though her daughter wants my daughter and me to be there. More
The other day I received a Facebook message from one of my boyfriendâs daughters that read, âI love you so much. I miss you so much. Xoxoxo.â
I absolutely loved receiving that e-mail because Iâve become very close with my boyfriendâs daughters and, apparently, they love me, too. I will babysit them if their dad needs to be at soccer. I take them shopping. I cuddle and watch movies with them. I helped the eldest with talk of periods and went swimsuit shopping with her. I wrestle with his youngest daughter and share her hairdryer. Iâm doing things that, well, are very motherly things. In fact, I pretty much will do for them what I do for my own daughter.
My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage and moving in together in the next few months. The marriage and the moving into together do not scare me. What scares me is becoming a âstepmother.â More