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Ever since it was reported that Kim Kardashian delivered Kanye West‘s baby five weeks early, Mommyish readers have been having nothing short of a heyday throwing around hypothetical baby names. Some of my favorite readers threw around such gems as Kadence, Kash Kow, Konda Kimye, Kardinal West. According to Media Takout’s notoriously incorrect sleuthing, you guys weren’t too far off. More
Listen, I love baby names. I know a lot of people love baby names. I could talk about them all day long, debating my own preferences and yours. But I like talking about names — meanings, spellings, bad experiences you’ve had with someone of the same name or griping about reasons I can’t use a name I loved since I was little. This piece however, reads more like a novel, with mounting tensions at every turn. More
As my co-worker, and everyone’s favorite Mommyish writer, Eve Vawter, would say: doublefuckingnewsflash, people.
Turns out there is zero overlap between the Top 10 Names on the great parenting resource Nameberry and the U.S. Government’s official SSA list — for either girls or boys. More
While we all assumed that Kris Jenner’s kontract with Satan required her to name the spawn of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West with some kind of fancy-schmancy K-name, we’re now hearing word that that particular naming rumor may be untrue. While we’re still waiting for Satan’s rep to confirm this statement, we’ll go ahead and assume that he’s given the Kardashian family permission to choose a non-K name. Why? I don’t know. I’m sure the trade-off for that deal will involve some kind of new television series that I don’t even want to think about. Just know it will involve all the Kardashian grandbabies competing on some kind of game show hosted by Ryan Seacrest. More
We’ve discussed parents’ yoonique baby name choices in this column several times before, but one thing we haven’t discussed is all the drama surrounding those choices. Did you know that baby name-stealing is a modern day tragedy of mammoth proportions? Well, it is. It’s a tragic epidemic that’s spiraling out of control. Hide yo names, hide yo wives, ’cause bitches be stealing. And if they’re not stealing, then they’re doing something else to anger parents, like mispronouncing little Jhykcen (pronounced “Jackson”) or Espn’s first names, or making up cute little nicknames for children that were NOT Parent Authorized. There’s more to today’s baby names than meets the eye. More
You mommies and daddies who are keen to the fetus as fruit game know the timeline. First, it’s a poppy seed. A little later, an olive. Next, we’re looking at lemons, grapefruit, and cantaloupe. But in naming her unborn, Kate Middleton and Prince William have apparently gone for something a little more in the raspberry, blueberry family. More
As we all know by now, Holly Madison just gave birth to a perfectly little adorable girl and named her Rainbow Aurora. The choice gained some serious snark from the interwebs, as yoonique names tend to do. Our own Editor In Chief Koa Beck is already trying to work out some nicknames for the infant. I’d like to throw a simple “Ray” into the ring as a contender for that, by the way. But Madison isn’t taking the critique of her baby name quietly. More
But back to wieners, Jessica was on Jimmy Kimmel last night and she accidentally let slip the sex of her unborn baby with: The crazy thing is I never knew a wiener could make me nauseous. After realizing what she had done, Jessica then said:
Well I guess I just told the world that I’m having a boy!
Natasha Hill, the Southern California mom who was reportedly being paid $5,000 to let the baby name website, Belly Ballot, choose her baby name is not a mom. She’s not even pregnant. She’s not even Natasha Hill! The baby name hoax has been revealed! More
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From the time my sister’s son was born he was a big baby. His hands were huge and he reminded me of when you see a puppy with big paws and know that he is going to grow into a huge dog. It’s because of his size and general cuteness that I started calling him “Moose.” The name caught on and my sister started calling him that as well. His cousins too. It seems though that not everyone is so keen on the idea of calling a sweet little boy a name that is usually designated for football players. My sister has been told by more than a few people that “Moose is a horrible name for a baby.” More
Alec Baldwin and his new wife Hilaria just announced their happy news, the addition of a new little Baldwin to the family. But is sounds like not everything is right in the happy home. Poor Hilaria is trying to let her hubby know that his chosen baby name really sucks. And she’s doing it through a People magazine interview, which might just be the most amusing bit of celebrity passive-aggressiveness I’ve ever seen. More
It’s Sunday – I’m sure you all need a way to waste some time on the Internet. Well, I’ve found it. The Baby Name Wizard. You don’t need to be an expectant parent to be entertained by this thing, either.
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I used to complain to my parents that they weren’t very original. You see the name they chose for me, Jennifer, was also the number one girl’s name for the year I was born. In fourth grade there were two other Jennifers in my class, which made Red Rover a very confusing game. Maybe my parents should have been more resourceful and asked others to help in choosing a name for me. Of course there was no Internet back then but they could have put an ad in the paper asking people to mail them suggestions. Luckily for Natasha Hill of Los Angeles, the Internet does exist and can and will be used to name her unborn child.
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Tabloids are reporting that they already know Jessica Simpson‘s chosen name for her surprise second baby. Sources say that Simpson and her fiance Eric Johnson are having a little boy and they’re ready to name that little boy Ace. Personally, I’m hoping one of these rumor reports is wrong. I want the quirky couple to have a girl named Ace! More
