I used to be a believer in abstinence until marriage. In fact, I was “saving myself” as a virgin until marriage, until I re-met my husband at the age of 24. While I technically have only been with one man, my husband, we decided to rapidly switch gears and live together in sin two years prior to getting married. One reason was because my husband was already divorced at the age of 24, a marriage he rushed into because of the abstinence doctrine. More
One of the biggest Christian doctrines that I was taught and still lived by until just a few years ago was abstinence until marriage. I was a virgin (with lots of gray areas) until I was 24, when I got into a relationship with my current husband. At that time, I decided, fuck it (both literally and figuratively); we had sex before marriage while living together, but he is the only person I have been with. More
I knew we’d have to deal with this perplexing type of sex ed. My husband had abstinence education, and he turned out okay, mostly because his parents injected a little sanity into the ordeal. We agreed that I would take the lead on this, not because my husband is weirded out but because I got the opposite of whatever abstinence ed is. As in, lots of discussion about masturbation, consent, contraceptives, and this weird silicone nutsack and boob that we were all supposed to feel in order to find the mystery lump as a nod to self-exams.
Since I’m obviously the expert, and I have the matching equipment, I gladly—and a little superiorly—agreed to be my kid’s go to on all things downstairs related. More
Their sex lives are not my business. As long as they are being responsible and consensual and healthy. And more than that I would never tell them I want them to enter into a chaste courtship, just like I wouldn’t tell them they should go bone a mess of people before marriage. But I’d be lying if I said that the whole idea of a chaste courtship really creeps me out. I would (secretly) prefer that they have a whole lot of (healthy, safe, happy, consensual) sex before marriage. If they even decide to get married. More
Brad Seng, an anti-abortion activist who teaches abstinence-only education in Colorado public schools, has an interesting way of engaging his students: backwash. He asks them to chew a mouthful of food, spit it into a cup of water, and offer it to other students. When students predictably refuse to sip each others’ backwash, he explains that having sex with someone who’s had premarital sex. But he says that he’s in not being judgemental…or pushing a sexist agenda.
As Slate’s Amanda Marcotte points out, Seng’s demonstration is a pretty thinly-veiled symbol for a dirty vagina, but the group he works for—Real Choices Pregnancy Care Center—isn’t all that bashful about directing their shame towards women, specifically. Under a litany of warnings about various Sexually Trasmitted Infections, their website includes a special warning for girls: More
The smart 13-year-old girl who schooled countless viewers on rape culture with her slut-shaming video on YouTube was on Anderson yesterday. And aside from learning the young girl’s name, which is Sarah, we also got her two cents about purity balls.
Other guests on stage were Jessica Valenti who chatted about how the movement of purity balls further sexualizes girls by bringing the focus once again to girls’ sexuality. More
The United States Department of Health and Human Services has just banned abstinence education from receiving Community-Centered Healthy Marriage and Relationship Grants. I’m not a big fan of the government getting involved in either abstinence education or birth control education, but this is pretty shocking news. More