STFU Parents: Happy Mother’s Day To The Moms Who Keep It Real

In honor of Mother’s Day this Sunday, I’m dedicating this column to moms who keep it real. You know the types of moms I’m referring to. They’re cool, honest, and aren’t afraid to tell it like it is, even if it’s at their own expense. The updates they write are appreciated, not eye-roll-inducing. They’re the types of women who are admired for figuring out how to discuss motherhood without sounding like a snob or a complainer or a helicopter mom. They take parenting seriously, but not too seriously, and their Facebook updates are reflections of that thoughtfulness and ease.

Keeping it real doesn’t necessarily mean that an update doesn’t mention poop or some detail of parenting that isn’t pretty. It just means the update is a little more confessional, whether it’s a mom expressing how she really feels at the end of a long day, or simply relaying a pro-tip that goes beyond the average “cloth vs. disposable diapers” argument.

Here are some examples to help kick off Mother’s Day a few days early:

1. Nobody’s Perfect

Women figured out that parenting is difficult hundreds of years ago, but that doesn’t mean it’s gotten any easier to admit. Sherly, I salute you and your candor.

2. Mom Tricks

Sneaky schmeaky. If it works, do it. And don’t forget to tell your friends. Also, I like the way Erica is mildly mocking her child in this update without coming straight out and saying, “Holy shit, babies are so easily manipulated!” I mean, she *is* saying that, but without the taunting ridicule.

3. Motherhood Moments

 

Joanie doesn’t get a Gold Star – because any status update with “poop” at its root is tough to reward – but she did make me laugh. Sometimes moms really don’t catch a break, and right when they need one, too. Freshly painted nails + a child who needs her ass wiped = incongruous and unfortunate timing. If only nail polish that supposedly dries in 60 seconds actually did dry in 60 seconds, the world would be a better, less messed-up place. Or at least our nails would be.

4. Telling It Like It Is

 

I’ll ignore the grammatical errors in this update because Abi is speaking the Truth. Her comment comes from a genuine place – a place full of dirty diapers and projectile vomit and a severe lack of sleep – and it’s about as honest as a mom can be without sounding too bitter. I don’t think Abi is saying she hates being a mother or that she hates her life as a stay-at -home mom, but she is saying that, in her opinion, women who think that being a stay at home mom is a breeze should shut their stupid traps. You don’t usually see mothers admitting to feeling incredibly alone, but Abi does so with reckless abandon, unafraid of those who may judge her. She’s probably giving away too much, but I kinda love her for it.

5. Humorous (and accurate!) Advice

 

Mom tricks range from awesome to disgusting, and I think Blue’s comment falls somewhere in-between the two. It’s funny because we’ve all had to pee while sitting in traffic, but it’s disgusting because, well, I think she’s admitting to pissing in a baby diaper, bringing back fond memories of Lisa Nowak. Regardless, I tip my hat to her. Baby diapers are no less dignified than empty Gatorade bottles, and I saw someone pee into one of those back in college. Rush hour is a bitch.

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